I had a revelation listening to some guys in the locker room today.
"I Hate my wife..She is such a bitch...She is always yelling at kids...She won't let me go away for the night to see a game ....She hasn't fucked me in two weeks.....I hate my wife too!"
These guys all were smiling and changing into gear. Basically unloading emotions on each other and validating their lack of control in their relationships. I didn't say a word because I vividly recall....
Yours truly had these same validation- seeking emotional pukes with male friends
These men don't really hate their wives. In fact, they love and need these women desperately. They need her to be pleased. They desire her agreement. They are frustrated by the lack of control yet don't see the power to change things. This is what we mean by plugged in. They are in the matrix.
Personally..I have grown a tremendous amount and I don't really hate my wife any more at all. She really tries very hard to seduce me with her best behavior now.
The reason? I am indifferent to her. I TAKE CARE OF ME. No one else is expected to help.
Oh we have a strong bond and she is raising our kids and it would be painful to lose her.
But now...I don't have to put up with her shitty moods. I llisten a bit but it sure doesn't change the trajectory of my day.
If I leave mid day Sunday to play sports and leave her with kids...I know I'll miss them but her guilt trips mean shit. I don't care what's she thinks. I want to have fun too. I don't need permission.
And isn't great my kids see a man who values his recreation and time a bit? God I hope they are happy well adjusted adults who put their wants and needs first. I see instilling this value system as pivotal. I don't need to hover at home 24 7 because my lazy wife needs " a break"
If she wants to act out in any way...She gets zero attention from me. You would be shocked how fast she shapes up.
The reason is that I know now that she is 100percent replaceable. There are several women who I could have sex with tomorrow.
I can hire a cleaning lady too. I hate cleaning!
I'll miss my kids but guess what...they need a strong father figure sometimes more than a weak pussydad every day. It's the feminine imperatives brainwash that dad needs to be home or the kids will be fucked up. There fore he has to put up with any and all of his wife's bullshit? No thanks
No..I no longer join these betafags complaining about how restrictive marriage can be because for me...It's not.
I love my wife. But I'm not stupid anymore and I know that the love she is able to return sure as fuck isn't the idealiZed love that many men can give and assume they will receive it back. It isn't gents....someone else can point you to the posts that explain this better than me
This is one of the hardest lessons of TRP (for me)
Work hard and get your woman's adoration and respect. You will be happy.
Don't buy in to the fairytale that she will take care of you and love you as you are. No matter what.
This line of thinking keeps divorce lawyers very busy