~ archived since 2018 ~

If you're not fucking, shut up about leadership

September 14, 2021
162 upvotes

Everyone wants a happy and fulfilling marriage, and no one wants to accept thats outside of your control. A guy can do all the chores worth doing, he can be the best damned dad in the world. He can crush it at the office, be the coach of his kids little league team, and score 100% on all 12 Rules for Life. and yet:

If he's not fucking, it doesn't matter.

I'm not saying this just because. I'm saying this because in my god knows how many years here I've seen countless guys give the same speech:

"She's a great mom, cooks dinner, wonderful at dinner parties and can wear a mean pair of jogging pants. There's just this small, insignificant little detail that I want to ask a question on: she's gained 50 pounds and hasn't fucked me since Trump was in office."

Then insert a 3 paragraph biography/pity party with a question on whether 'she' would fuck him if he had better leadership. Hopefully everyone is on board with the definition of leadership, as every single guy leaves out what the fuck that even means.

It's as old as the Red Pill, Briffaults law. In any species, the female dictates the terms relationship. When there is no benefit, there is no relationship. as a corollary, any negotiation becomes null and void the minute she gets her side of the bargain. This has 2 main models that guys would do well to internalize:

  1. It's not your relationship to save, it's hers.
  2. You cannot negotiate desire.

Leadership, in a nutshell, is the wife or girlfriend deferring to the husband or boyfriend. If she has no desire to defer, then any attempt to 'lead' looks no different than one of your kids trying to bark orders, looks pretty silly doesn't it. Ask yourself, which one of these relationships will last: A relationship that the husband wants to save and the wife can't stand? Or the one with a fully invested wife and a husband who is ambivalent to it?

So, take this for what it's worth: Any leadership is the lagging indicator of a fully invested woman. Stop trying to skip the basics and go straight to leading. Focus on being attractive, having abundance, building options, and the ever popular:

Be attractive, don't be unattractive

Because when she wants to defer to you, you'll know it, and you don't need 20000 internet assholes to spell it out for you.

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Post Information
Title If you're not fucking, shut up about leadership
Author RStonePT
Upvotes 162
Comments 34
Date September 14, 2021 9:36 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/if-youre-not-fucking-shut-up-about-leadership.1070421
https://theredarchive.com/post/1070421
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/poc8pf/if_youre_not_fucking_shut_up_about_leadership/
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