Hey gents! Here is an issue I have been dealing with that I would welcome your brutal insights. In case this gets long winded, the basic question in in a bold TL:DR; at the end.

My MRP journey (a year in) has been trans-formative. I now have a happier marriage and I am getting sex, on average, as much as I want (for me that is about 3 times a week). I am now focusing on the quality and her involvement/engagement. We are trying new things.

Other required notes: I have been lifting for 6 months. I am in "good shape", better than the dad bod, but still around 18% body fat I would wager. I have a ways to go and I am working on it. (atkins diet too)

One thing I have noticed is that when sex is going to happen, she throws out a lot of conditions and demands in the beginning of it. This is before she is warmed up. here are a few examples:

  • Did you lock the door? Go make sure the door is locked.
  • No, I am keeping my shirt on. I will take off my pants.
  • you are not going down there. I just worked out and I smell down there.
  • don't pull the blankets away, and leave the lights off.
  • dont kiss me that way. or- Dont kiss me my breath is horrible.
  • do you have a towel?

Those are but a few examples from the last few sessions. Now I would rather be the dominating one, and I try to respond with that with limited success. I mainly try to go with A&A, to just be cocky and fun loving and just push through all of this. But I admit it throws me off my game and does not make the best foreplay for me. I grow tired of this pre-sex battle and thus less interested in sleeping with her.

Now once we are in the middle of the sexy time, she is warmed up and a bit more submissive. So we eventually 'get there' and have some fun.

But the getting there... For that I need a strong will and an unshakable confidence. Even then I will often still need her help getting me hard again for the act (because her attitude has killed any arousal I had before).

So I have been looking at these events. Is it Last minute resistance (after 10 years of marriage)?

I thought perhaps some of these are comfort tests - she is insecure about her body, her smell, and the like. She does have issues with feeling sexy. So perhaps she needs reassurance and understanding.. Meeting these conditions make her feel more comfortable?

And I have been now handling some of them as shit tests. Her ordering me to go make sure the door is locked (when no one is in my damn house that time!) was met with that she was more than welcome to go lock it. That got her mad and she became even more pissy.

There are also times like her saying "Be careful of the cat" that is on the bed. And so I shoo the cat off the bed or just lift and toss her, and she gets all mad and I just grin and go back at it.
I think I am passing those tests...

As always, I know this is a journey and I have a ways to go. I had a setback I might write a FR about, where my wife was on crutches for 6 weeks and I had to really help around the house and go pretty beta to make everything work (and for the larger number of comfort tests).. so I lost some ground there that I am working to get back.

But this pre-sex conditions and demands game, it has been a constant in our marriage, except when she is really drunk.

I look forward to your analysis and guidance on how to handle.

thanks gents.

TL:DR; When sexy time is starting, wife throws a lot of conditions and arguments. How do you handle this, and is this typically Last minute resistance, shit tests or comfort tests?