We had a nice little debate on /u/purplepilldebate with mostly Red men and women:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4a128e/q4rp_can_anyone_here_explain_rmarriedredpill_can/

RPW Moderator /u/PhantomDream09 made several statements about MRP that I bring to the chorus for your edification.

Marriage is a perfectly acceptable goal/desire for RP men, as are spinning plates, LTRs, and/or having nothing to do with women. The vast majority of users are actively discouraged from pursuing marriage, which I think is a shame. While I do agree that walking down the aisle comes with risks, and obligations - it's also not nearly the 'death sentence' so many make it out to be.

RPW supports marriage? That was news to me. If you are thinking AWALT, then so was I.

A competent, capable man, that chooses a good woman to marry will not end up in the bottomless pit of agony - contrary to what so many claim.

HAHAHAHAHAAH! So all the Deadbedrooms, all the cheating wives, all the withdrawing, sexually frigid women who slutted it up in college and who fucked their man 90 times a day until the wedding, ALL of those men are incompetent and incapable who chose badly. Well, maybe but doesn't the woman have the slightest blame for, you know, LYING about her attraction and then Shit Testing him into oblivion? Nah.

MRP is not RP in any way shape or form.

Because we should always look to a woman for the definition of male sexual strategy. MRP is arguably not "Alpha" because by definition we are married and betafied by the social institution (except /u/theultimatecad and a couple others)

It's a bunch of guys that have failed to lead from day one, and now they're trying to 'improve' their marriages by using the same tactics and attitudes that single RP users employ when spinning plates.

Not exactly, but if you get to where you CAN spin plates, amazingly all the sex problems in marriage magically disappear. Why Hell! It just happened don't you know.

The problem is, when you've been married to someone for a decade or longer - there's no way in the world they are going to believe (or go along with) a sudden reversal in attitude. The users there fail on many fronts.

This is why I posted her comments and her key word is SUDDEN. You have to do Dread subtextually and you have to know that if, at the end of the day- after a year of improvement- your wife refuses to accept you as her leader then there is only answer: NEXXXXT!

If they were capable leaders with good boundaries and had maintained their spouse's attraction, then they wouldn't find themselves in such miserable circumstances. They are in an impossible situation. Trying to figure out how to become desirable, competent and strong while also attempting to get an uninterested (and often unwilling) wife to suddenly trust his competence, abilities, and feel desire for him.

All true except the word "Impossible" should be "extremely difficult." I don't believe in the no-win scenario. MRP gives men the tools to learn how to be more capable leaders with competence.

It's really hard to read stories about these guys trying to act like college jocks out of the blue, and use ham-fisted tactics to try and create 'dread.' Here's the thing about dread, it should be a natural, passive effect that happens because a man has compelling value and allure. When a guy overtly chases women in front of his wife - she doesn't feel 'dread' she feels disgusted and embarrassed. I'm not saying the wives are perfect by any means. It really does take two to destroy a marriage (or any relationship).

She only is disgusted because she sees her Beta pet acting up and doesn't like it. She sees a guy casting a line and nothing biting and that is a turn off. What do you suppose she sees when her guy is casting a line and is starting to get some nibbles? Maybe your little Beta pet is really an Alpha under all that conditioning? Maybe I need to reassess and stop treating him like shit? Nah.

Watching married men try to imitate the behaviors and attitudes of plate spinners is really off-putting. They have no idea how to bring peace and calm into the dynamic, only how to beat their chests and overreact to everything. For a marriage that's experiencing turmoil - which pretty much requires a man that doesn't really know what he's doing (because if he did - the marriage wouldn't be falling apart), the best chance for a reversal would be for the wife to decide that she needs to adapt a different approach.

Again, much of this is true and worth serious reflection. The best solution to make a better man is for his woman to actually HELP and ENCOURAGE him rather than constantly hinder him and belittle his efforts. Sadly, we don't rely on that dynamic. Maybe RPW preaches it and we always try to send women to RPW, but nobody else preaches this. Men are alone and we can't rely on women to save us. The entire notion of a woman in this society acting sweet and submissive and helpful without being FORCED into that position by threat of losing her status as a wife is almost ridiculous. I simply haven't seen it.

I HAVE seen many sweet, wonderful, submissive, helpful, kind, sexually insatiable women. Then they get married.

This is something that has been noted by users in the past. On the RPW sub, we encourage women to take a step back, to trust more - and in almost every case, the relationship improves through her efforts. Men become happier, the women feels less stressed out and insecure.

We encourage men to take a step back but "trust" a person who has already cruelly and maliciously violated her sacred vows? I don't think so.

On MRP, it's constant chaos, with marginal instances of 'success.'

Like I responded in the thread, this is total horse shit. Our "success" rate measured by the number of women who have filed for divorce on Merps is about 1% and the number of "APPROVED" Merps filing for divorce is about .01% with just one user ditching his BPD wife. Our tactics work amazingly well- far better than I ever thought they would or I would have ever hoped.

Edit: Some of the advice is good. For example, getting in shape and working on personal appearance, following through on promises. That said, creating attraction involves a lot more than a nice body. A husband could have the body of adonis - but if his personality is crummy, his wife would still find him off-putting and resist trusting him.

Sigh, wommminz. A woman is not attracted to a man's "personality" but to his "strength." She is actually talking about a woman who dated a man, was engaged to a man, fucked him 4 times a day for 2-3 years, faked all her orgasms, spent $10,000 plus on a gigantic ceremony, pledged her undying fidelity and love to God and all these witnesses, BUT NOW his personality is "offputting" and he is really a yucky Beta so I don't want to have sex with him. In fact, there is nothing he can do because he is just a Beta.

A PPD mod jumped in to say:

I agree with your assessment of the subreddit. After spending some time reading posts and comments there, I now understand why TBP links to them so much..... While there was some good advice, there were also numerous "field reports" that caused me to physically cringe with second hand embarrassment. Some even by MRP mods, which is astonishing. In particular, I noticed a lot of stuff like this: guys trying to act like college jocks out of the blue, and use ham-fisted tactics to try and create 'dread.'

Again, these are new guys except perhaps for my colorful contributions which, while true, are often posted humorously and to ferret out the trolls.

TLDR: Go slow with Dread. Don't be the comical fake Alpha trying to force it. Build yourself into the man you need to be.