Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself. I've been on the road, riding around in United Ebola infested airplanes. I hadn't seen my wife for 3 days. She's a SAHM mom and her morning consists of: get 7 year old to school, pack up 3 year olds, go to Gym.

So she's standing in the kitchen, packing lunches, getting ready to walk out the door. I know Fridays are never a good night for sexytime, it's the end of the week, she's tired, we usually end up having a late night. So I'm thinking Saturday its on. Oh, yeah, I'm sure I have ADD too.

So I'm having a conversation with her, and it immediately pops in my head, so ole slick UE decides to plant the seed "Saturday night, it's on Babe!"

She looks at me like "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"What?" I'm a little confused.

She's like "One minute you're talking about Ebola, your travel and shit, and you're standing there in your robe farting like an old mule, and your like 'it's on!'. What?"

She clearly had no idea what I was talking about.

"Um, oh yeah, sexy-time babe." Mayday, Mayday, crash and burn, crash and burn! Now I need to own this shit right.

She says to me, "That's hot babe." Deadpan.

"Fuck yeah, I'm fucking hot." I pulled my robe to the side and twirled my nipple, as she walked out the door laughing.