So recently, during Jordan Peterson's book tour he was interviewed by Cathy Newman in the UK, which went viral. Here's the link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMcjxSThD54
For the lazy, here's the transcript - https://katana17.wordpress.com/2018/01/22/jordan-peterson-debates-cathy-newman-on-the-gender-pay-gap-transcript/
I would encourage you to watch the video, as there are multiple lessons on debate, not losing your cool, redirecting, frame, and so forth.
Key points that stood out:
Newman: Jordan Peterson, you’ve said that men need to, quote, “grow the hell up!” Tell me why.
Peterson: Well, because there’s nothing uglier than an old infant. There’s nothing good about it. It people who don’t grow up, don’t find the sort of meaning in their life that sustains them through difficult times. And they are certain to encounter difficult times. And they’re left bitter and resentful, and without purpose, and adrift, and hostile, and resentful, and vengeful, and arrogant, and deceitful, and of no use to themselves, and of no use to anyone else, and no partner for a woman, and there’s nothing in it that’s good!
Newman: You’re saying there’s a crisis of masculinity. I mean, what do you do about it?
Peterson: You tell, you help people understand why it’s necessary and important for them to grow up and adopt responsibilities. Why that isn’t a “shake your finger and get your act together” sort of thing. Why it’s more like, but why it’s more like a, delineation of the kind of destiny that makes life worth living. I’ve been telling young men, but it’s not, I wasn’t specifically aiming this message at young men to begin with, it just kind of turned out that way.
Newman: So what’s gone wrong, then?
Peterson: Oh God! All sorts of things have gone wrong! I think that, I don’t think that young men hear words of encouragement. Some of them never in their entire lives, as far as I can tell, that’s what they tell me. And the fact that the words that I’ve been speaking, the YouTube lectures that I’ve done and put online, for example, have had such a dramatic impact, is indication that young men are starving for this sort of message. Because like, why in the world would they have to derive it from a lecture on YouTube? Now they’re not being taught that it’s important to develop yourself.
Newman: What’s in it for the women, though?
Peterson: Well what sort of partner do you want? You want an overgrown child? Or do you want someone to contend with, that’s going to help you?
Newman: So you’re saying women have some sort of duty to sort of help fix the crisis of masculinity?
Peterson: It depends on what they want. No I mean, it’s exactly how I laid it out like. Women want, deeply, want men who are competent and powerful! And I don’t mean power in that they can exert tyrannical control over others. That’s not power! That’s just corruption. Power is competence, and why in the world would you not want a competent partner? Well, I know why actually. You can’t dominate a competent partner. So if you want domination, …
Newman: So you are saying women want to dominate, is that what you’re saying?
Peterson: No. I’d say women who have had their relationships with men impaired and who are afraid of such relationships, will settle for a weak partner, because they can dominate them. But it’s a sub-optimal solution.
Newman: Do you think that’s what a lot of women are doing?
Peterson: I think there’s a substantial minority of women who do that. And I think it’s very bad for them. They’re very unhappy. It’s very bad for their partners. Although the partners get the advantage of not having to take any responsibility.
Newman: What gives you the right to say that? I mean, maybe that’s how women want their relationships, those women. I mean, you’re making these vast generalizations.
Peterson: I’m a clinical psychologist.
Newman: Right. So you’re saying you’ve done your research and women are unhappy dominating men?
Peterson: I didn’t say they were unhappy dominating them. I said it was a bad long-term solution. It’s not the same thing.
Newman: Okay, you said it was making them miserable.
Peterson: Yes, it is. And it depends on the time frame. I mean, there can be, there’s intense pleasure in momentary domination. That’s why people do it all the time, but it’s no formula for a long-term, successful, long-term relationship. That’s reciprocal, right? Any long-term relationship is reciprocal, virtually by definition. So, …
There's a lot to unpack here, but generally, think about it. Your wife does not want a overgrown child. She wants someone who is competent. She wants someone who is competent in multiple areas, physical, mental, and so forth. Women DEEPLY want a MAN who are these things. YOU should want to BE these things for yourself. You wonder why your wife is not having sex with you? Are you fat? Leaving all the work around the house to her? Treating her as your maid? Letting her run the ship? Showing her that you are as incompetent as they come? Not showing any leadership at all? Why would a woman want to sleep with that. I say it again - why would a woman want to sleep with that.
What we do here at MRP is we get people to grow up, adopt responsibilities (lifting, learning, etc), and generally become a man who is competent, not just in the bedroom, but in life.
I would even go so far to say as that becoming a competent man is a key factor in your sexual strategy.
And look at the other side - women dominating men IS a bad long-term solution. Lack of frame, drunk captain-ness, saying stuff like "I don't know, what do you want to do?"... just terrible. Successful relationships are reciprocal.
It was a interesting discussion. I'd like to hear further thoughts below.
Bonus Insight 1 - Women make 80% of consumer decisions. I had not thought it was this large.
Bonus Insight 2 - In the search for his latest book, I came across this article: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-most-valuable-things-everyone-should-know/answer/Jordan-B-Peterson?srid=zI7t - very simple, but worthy of review as well.