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Purpose – The Rules of the Game/Way of the Superior Man

October 20, 2017

To quote J. C. Penney, founder of the department store chain, "Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals, and I’ll give you a stock clerk."- Neil Strauss, The Rules of the Game

In the book The Rules of the Game, there are several missions listed around evaluating yourself, which are worthy of review as you are discovering or refining your purpose.

From the book:

MISSION 1: Evaluate Yourself

Fitness programs require you to weigh in on the first day. Financial plans ask for a list of your assets and debts. So to revamp your social life, you'll need to make a social assessment of yourself. Your first mission is to write answers to the following questions. Don't worry about what anyone else will think of your answers. Your goal is to be as honest with yourself as possible.

  1. Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.

  2. Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others.

  3. List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change.

  4. List three new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt.

MISSION 2: Set Your Goals

Your mission is to read the following questions, think about them carefully, and write your personal mission statement. Be as specific and ambitious as possible. (Examples of accomplishments include starting a band, buying a house. getting in shape, launching a business, becoming president.)

  1. What three accomplishments would you like to achieve to make you happier?

  2. What are the reasons these accomplishments will make you happier?

  3. What is your personal mission? (fill out the following statement)

I will become (MY ROLE, maximum four words) who will (MY CLAIM TO FAME, maximum four words) within (NUMBER) days/weeks/years.

  1. List three specific results that will let you know that you've accomplished your mission. (For example, I will have earned $200,000; I will have lost thirty pounds; or I will have won five Academy Awards).

  2. Why are you now fully committed to pursuing your personal mission? (fill out the following statement)

Because if I don’t pursue it now, I will continue to suffer over the next years and: my (element/quality of life) will decrease/get worse/fail; x3

But if I do pursue it now, my (element/quality of life) will increase/improve/come true; x3

From The Way of the Superior Man, pages 18-19:

“Your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner. The next time you notice yourself "giving in" to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop. Tell your woman that you love her, but you cannot deny your heart's purpose. Tell her that you will spend 30 minutes (or some specific time) with her in absolute attention and total presence, but then you must return to carry on your mission. Your woman will be more fulfilled with 30 minutes a day of undivided attention and ravishing love than she will with a few hours of your weak and divided presence when your heart really isn't into it. Time you spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you'd rather be doing something else, she'll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied.”

From The Way of the Superior Man, pages 30-31:

“The core of your life is your purpose. Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours. But if you don't know your deepest desire, then you can't align your life to it. Everything in your life is dissociated from your core. You go to work, but since it's not connected to your deepest purpose, it is just a job, a way to earn money. You go through your daily round with your family and friends, but each moment is just another in a long string of moments, going nowhere, not inherently profound. Disconnected from your core, you feel weak. This empty feeling will undermine not only your "erection" in the world, but your erection with your woman, too. However, when you know your true purpose, which is your core desire in life, each moment can become a full expression of your core desire. Every instant of career, every instant of intimacy, is filled with the power of your heart purpose. You are no longer just going through the motions at work and with your woman, but you are living the truth of your life, and giving the gifts of your love, moment by moment. Such a life is complete unto itself in every instant. The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.”

Evolving your purpose is a natural part of growth as you live and build experiences. I’m not going to quote the whole book of TWOTSM, however it is encouraged that you read and review this to define and refine your own purpose. These are merely tools that can be used on your MAP. Working out, STFU, sidebar – they all are ultimately getting to a man’s purpose. Defining one's purpose is a key part of your own sexual strategy - sure, you can lose weight and make some initial gains with your wife, but once you have a purpose... look out!

If you have additional thoughts or resources on purpose to help focus people as they post in the OYS threads or define their own MAP, put them below.

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Post Information
Title Purpose – The Rules of the Game/Way of the Superior Man
Author SteelSharpensSteel
Upvotes 47
Comments 11
Date October 20, 2017 2:27 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/purpose-the-rules-of-the-gameway-of-the-superior.198400
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/77mf7f/purpose_the_rules_of_the_gameway_of_the_superior/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Break it into smaller milestones so you experience the snowball effect and get the dopamine reward of checking something off your list sooner. Keeps you motivated.

Financial Example:

Start with $1000 emergency fund. Then start saving past that in $2500 increments. Think of money as a seed you plant and grows as you water it more.

Physical Example:

I will loose some weight, but to do that first I will cut out soda for 2 weeks. Then I will cut out French Fries. Those 2 things, over the coarse of a month will give you some weight loss alone.

Examples are endless.

Point is, aim for the sky, but make sure you have a plan to move up each run of the ladder.

[–]thunderbeyond2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


This is one of those posts that gets me thinking... a lot.

Its better that this is placed in the proper MRP sub because mission is a higher level subject. After you've cut your teeth in the noobworld and you've got your head in some sort of order, it's time to sort your mission out. This will definitely help me, but damn its going to take time.

Thanks for the cues.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No problem. Yeah, this is like graduate level work after you finished the undergraduate sidebar material. It's tough, tricky, and you have to work through it.

[–]sh0ckley2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is an area in which I’ve had great struggle and more recent success - where success is defined as happiness and dwelling in reality. I’ve always had a mission. I chased it nearly to my death during my youth and “failed” for a variety of reasons.

As I’ve grown older I found success (and thus more genuine happiness) by dwelling in reality. This change in perspective occurred when I separated my “mission” from my “goals” - “process” is not the same as “results.”

Let’s say a mission is perceived as getting drafted by Major League Baseball. There might be various things that could be done to get closer to that dream. But...

be careful that your mission is not actually a goal.

For example: getting drafted is actually a goal. A realistic mission is “to be the best baseball player one can be.” A mission does not have an end point. A mission is a life long pursuit.

If I’m 40 years old and still thinking I’ll be able to throw a 90 mph fastball to get drafted then I’m not dwelling in reality and I will be miserable. I would also look like an idiot and make many enemies due to being immature. Now, I may not have achieved a goal, but if I really love baseball then my mission isn’t over and I have not failed.

This fallacy in thinking caused me terrible misery and unhappiness until I figured it out and that happened after reading “The Unchained Man” by Caleb Jones.

In the movie Bull Durham the dialog between Kevin Costner and Tim Robbins elaborates on what I’m speaking of very eloquently - raw skill and potential versus maturity and discipline. The best man has both braun and brains - neither one of the characters has both and they each have what the other needs but might not get.

Occasionally there are truly amazing men who have it all at the right time and do incredible things. I am not one of those and many are probably not either but that’s ok because:

if life was supposed to be fair then I’d be able to dunk a basketball better than Michael Jordan at the same time I was playing guitar better than Hendrix.

Fuck it. My life is awesome because it’s mine and I know who I am without shame and accept reality.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mission is tough. the toughest thing is to separate YOUR mission from a mission you were brought up to believe in. Specifically - what characteristics your mission should have.

Men need an identity- primary and secondary. For example- ever hear a generals wife refer to him in public- to other people as "THE general"?

Think about it - what are you to other people? What image do you project?

As far as women - they tend to like to link themselves to anothers' mission. The DOCTORs wife. The General's wife. Those are basic examples. But its better to be a at least in part an image and an idea rather than "Johnny"

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I struggle with mission. Career is not my mission but i do like to be successful.

I kind of see being alpha as a mission. Is that too generic? It covers health, financial, relationship, kids etc. Its a life long goal

[–]DownVoteForDickPic 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

I think mission is one of the things I nailed to the floor early on, so I'll share how I did it. It's all about giving your gift in its fullest. It doesn't have to be a hard skill (like woodworking or baseball) or an occupation (like a doctor or author), that shit will trip you up. A lot of men here start out by thinking, "Do I have a mission?" STFU with that noise. The question is, of course, "What is my mission?" and you need to start looking at the granular evidence before you just make up a mission.

What is the thing that builds your energy and the energy of others simultaneously? Wherever you are, what is the one thing that you can usually do better than anyone in the room? Is it cracking jokes? Is it being brave? Is it talking to strangers? Is it making people feel welcome? Is it public speaking? What else?

Think about this as you go about your week. If you're actually serious you'll be writing down your thoughts (it's what Stephen Covey recommend in 5 Habits), and you'll schedule a time to review them. After a week look at the notes. Does anything keep popping up? What do the things have in common? What role(s) start(s) to coalesce?

For example:

(1) I love talking to new people. I just genuinely enjoy it more than anyone else around me. Strangers like me, they're attracted to me, they trust me, they feel welcome, they open up very quickly to me.

(2) I love traveling. I don't mean I love vacation, I mean I love parachuting into a small town or a big city and just exploring with little to no money. By the end of the day, people are inviting me to dinner.

I have more qualities but let's cut the list here. So what kind of mission do these roles contribute to?

(1) + (2) = ???

It shouldn't be a surprise that my job literally pays me to meet new people and open them up to new things. My wife loves me because she's not very adventurous and I am. She would never travel if it weren't for me. People think I'm cool because I introduce them to new people and new places. A mission can be as simple as this is something that gives me and others energy.

[–]simbarlionMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

excellent description. Saved for reference.

[–]gvntrGrinding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


For me Mission has evolved to this breakdown:

Mission > Goals > Objectives > Milestones

My Mission is abstract and does not change, but the Goals do. My System is to keep changing the old Goals with new ones once they are achieved.

For instance, my top Goal is to raise the children to be "splendid adults" as of age 20. Once they both get to age 20, my top Goal has to change to something else. Otherwise, what am I going to do, be a depressed empty nester with nothing to live for?

I define the "splendid adults" Goal has having several Objectives. In my case, one is be "financially savvy."

There are many specific Milestones to becoming financially savvy. One is to start saving money, open a bank account, learn to record transactions, etc.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're not the only one who struggles with mission. I struggle with it myself.

I feel like it's easy to say that you're going to save lives if you're a doctor, or awaken people if you're Rollo Tomassi, or grow Apple's stock price if you're Tim Cook - but it is harder when you're in the day to day of working, raising kids, and damn you're tired after the kids go to bed... oh wait, there's grad school and lifting to do. Fantastic.

It's tough at times. I struggle with it for sure.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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