To quote J. C. Penney, founder of the department store chain, "Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals, and I’ll give you a stock clerk."- Neil Strauss, The Rules of the Game
In the book The Rules of the Game, there are several missions listed around evaluating yourself, which are worthy of review as you are discovering or refining your purpose.
From the book:
MISSION 1: Evaluate Yourself
Fitness programs require you to weigh in on the first day. Financial plans ask for a list of your assets and debts. So to revamp your social life, you'll need to make a social assessment of yourself. Your first mission is to write answers to the following questions. Don't worry about what anyone else will think of your answers. Your goal is to be as honest with yourself as possible.
Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you.
Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others.
List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change.
List three new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt.
MISSION 2: Set Your Goals
Your mission is to read the following questions, think about them carefully, and write your personal mission statement. Be as specific and ambitious as possible. (Examples of accomplishments include starting a band, buying a house. getting in shape, launching a business, becoming president.)
What three accomplishments would you like to achieve to make you happier?
What are the reasons these accomplishments will make you happier?
What is your personal mission? (fill out the following statement)
I will become (MY ROLE, maximum four words) who will (MY CLAIM TO FAME, maximum four words) within (NUMBER) days/weeks/years.
List three specific results that will let you know that you've accomplished your mission. (For example, I will have earned $200,000; I will have lost thirty pounds; or I will have won five Academy Awards).
Why are you now fully committed to pursuing your personal mission? (fill out the following statement)
Because if I don’t pursue it now, I will continue to suffer over the next years and: my (element/quality of life) will decrease/get worse/fail; x3
But if I do pursue it now, my (element/quality of life) will increase/improve/come true; x3
From The Way of the Superior Man, pages 18-19:
“Your mission is your priority. Unless you know your mission and have aligned your life to it, your core will feel empty. Your presence in the world will be weakened, as will your presence with your intimate partner. The next time you notice yourself "giving in" to your woman, postponing your mission and denying your true purpose in order to spend time with her, stop. Tell your woman that you love her, but you cannot deny your heart's purpose. Tell her that you will spend 30 minutes (or some specific time) with her in absolute attention and total presence, but then you must return to carry on your mission. Your woman will be more fulfilled with 30 minutes a day of undivided attention and ravishing love than she will with a few hours of your weak and divided presence when your heart really isn't into it. Time you spend with your woman should be time you really want to be with her more than anything else. If you'd rather be doing something else, she'll feel it. Both of you will be dissatisfied.”
From The Way of the Superior Man, pages 30-31:
“The core of your life is your purpose. Everything in your life, from your diet to your career, must be aligned with your purpose if you are to act with coherence and integrity in the world. If you know your purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours. But if you don't know your deepest desire, then you can't align your life to it. Everything in your life is dissociated from your core. You go to work, but since it's not connected to your deepest purpose, it is just a job, a way to earn money. You go through your daily round with your family and friends, but each moment is just another in a long string of moments, going nowhere, not inherently profound. Disconnected from your core, you feel weak. This empty feeling will undermine not only your "erection" in the world, but your erection with your woman, too. However, when you know your true purpose, which is your core desire in life, each moment can become a full expression of your core desire. Every instant of career, every instant of intimacy, is filled with the power of your heart purpose. You are no longer just going through the motions at work and with your woman, but you are living the truth of your life, and giving the gifts of your love, moment by moment. Such a life is complete unto itself in every instant. The superior man is not seeking for fulfillment through work and woman, because he is already full. For him, work and intimacy are opportunities to give his gifts, and be vanished in the bliss of the giving.”
Evolving your purpose is a natural part of growth as you live and build experiences. I’m not going to quote the whole book of TWOTSM, however it is encouraged that you read and review this to define and refine your own purpose. These are merely tools that can be used on your MAP. Working out, STFU, sidebar – they all are ultimately getting to a man’s purpose. Defining one's purpose is a key part of your own sexual strategy - sure, you can lose weight and make some initial gains with your wife, but once you have a purpose... look out!
If you have additional thoughts or resources on purpose to help focus people as they post in the OYS threads or define their own MAP, put them below.