Reflection: women thrive on extreme emotions

February 10, 2015

I'm going to lay out something I've recently internalized and give a brief FR. This is something that I'm sure is common knowledge to many seasoned RPers, and I'm excited to realize it personally. Somehow reading these principles on an internet website with a bunch of anonymous strangers doesn't pack as much punch as actually swallowing the truths firsthand.

Women are emotional, we all know this. What is more difficult for beta men to swallow is that women are incapable of thinking without their emotional response being the driving force. What is even more shocking is that women actually thrive on any emotional extreme, good or bad. They lap it up like kittens at a bowl of milk. They are this way naturally because (1) biology/hormones, and (2) they are designed to rely upon a strong, oak-like man. Unfortunately, quasi-men have become so supplicant to women's emotions that they are assigned moral rankings: happy is good, sad is bad, mad is fight-or-flight.

What hit me is the Machiavellian ability I have to use my wife's emotions for my (and by extension, our) benefit.

Assuming that I have steady momentum in self-improvement, she will see over time that the entire spectrum of her emotions can be set squarely on my shoulders, and I will weather it all with both decisiveness and comfort. When the storm calms and she sees me still standing strong, she will marvel and relax in my shade. She will realize that I have fixed myself and am now unmovable, and then - and only then - will she turn her attention to her own inner self-improvement.

By keeping this picture in mind, I have started learning to enjoy her extremes. When she is happy, I:

  • reward her positively

  • compliment her

  • sexualize her

We usually end up in an upward spiral of joy, ending in a sort of heavenly delirium. When she is sad, I:

  • help describe her sadness from all possible angles, encouraging full immersion

  • show empathy while not allowing my own emotions to get involved

It is important to redirect the sadness into resolution to change. Sadness by itself is unproductive. When she is mad, I:

  • hear her out, let her listen to herself, say nothing

  • agree and amplify

  • own any of my mistakes

  • give her space to cool off

It is also important to effect change after anger. "I understand that it upsets you when x, y, and z. What can we do to change?"

I know happy, sad, and mad are very broad, ill-defined emotional categories, but it helps me to pick a tactic in the heat of the moment.

My wife has been giving me grief lately regarding how I've stood up and taking charge of our finances, parenting style, and marriage relationship. Usually it boils down to these symptoms:

  • Crying

  • Yelling

  • Giving that "you just stabbed me" look

  • Screaming that I'm not listening to her

  • Judging my integrity for me

  • Calling me an asshole

  • Saying this marriage won't work if I'm going to be this way

My epiphany came when, a couple hours after a huge fight where she accused me of hating her (which I handled with the above tactics), she was rubbing her ass against me as we passed and chasing me down for sloppy, deep, french kisses. She said in that "aha" moment:

(exasperated) "I don't know what you're doing to me. But (melting into me) you drive me crazy..."

Me: "...and you like it." spank

TL;DR: As I'm learning to separate myself from my woman's emotions, I'm seeing how I can use them to draw her to me. When she experiences extreme emotions, I help her work through them, knowing that the darker the storm, the brighter the sun. Calm waters are boring.

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Post Information
Title Reflection: women thrive on extreme emotions
Author alphabeta49
Upvotes 20
Comments 41
Date February 10, 2015 7:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
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