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[–]jacktenofhearts 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't be such a pussy that your wife starts to hate you.
Also, don't be such an idiot that you can't even tell if your wife is starting to hate you.
If you're going do things like go nuclear on Shit Tests, and intentionally fail Comfort Tests, make sure these are active, conscious decisions. I can see for why a lot of guys on MRP, especially those with codependent traits, find it refreshing to be told, "Stop giving so much of a shit about whether your wife will be pissed! Stop reacting from within in your wife's frame!" But that doesn't mean you just tune everything out and stop operating with zero mindful intelligence and emotional empathy like an autistic retard.
So when I say, "don't be an idiot," I literally mean, "don't be an unintelligent, slow-witted moronic dipshit like this guy." You shouldn't operate within your wife's frame, but that's not contradictory to being conscious of your actions and how they impact those around you. Did you decide to go out with friends, and your wife got upset and now she's giving you the silent treatment? OK, not a problem. As long as you are actively concluding this.
Because if you're constantly thinking, hmm, my wife is being sort of standoffish, is this because she's unhappy I went out with my friends? Whatever, IDGAF -- then you may start thinking, "you know, the less fucks I give, the happier I am." And you'll eventually give so few fucks that not only will you not give a fuck when she's giving you the silent treatment, but you won't give a fuck when she gradually starts documenting a pattern of "dangerous outbursts" and "abusive behavior"... because you are now giving so few fucks that you are not even notice that's happening!
So I would just say, if you're going to decide "IDGAF," give One Single Fuck first. Give enough of a single fuck to decide you're going to NGAF. That's pretty much all it takes to avoid a situation like this. Because those One Single Fucks will ensure that, for example, you've fallen into a pattern of never giving a fuck about your marriage and your wife, and maybe the best thing to do is just terminate everything on your terms. And maybe you'll actually decide not to do that, for whatever reasons you may have. As long as it's what you want, it's all valid, but this is what I mean by "intellectual mindfulness." All our actions have consequences, and That One Single Fuck will ensure the those consequences rarely, if ever, catch you off-guard.
I say all this because I really doubt his STBX wife is some sort of sociopathic femme fatale who plotted all this with zero indication. And I say this because the aggrieved OP here is a fucking idiot. How the fuck did he think it was a good idea to show up at his hearing without counsel? Go to any divorce lawyer and say, "I need a lawyer, but I can't pay you because my wife withdrew assets from all our joint accounts," and they'll ask you to come up with something like a $1000 retainer. And as long as you do that -- and yeah, $1000 doesn't grow on trees, but if there's ever a time to take a cash advance or a payday loan, well, this is it -- then you'll have legal representation and your lawyer will argue that your STBX is withholding joint assets and the judge will tell your STBX to knock that shit the fuck off. Unless neither you or your STBX actually have any money, in which case you're broke enough to probably be able to get assistance from legal aid clinics, local law schools, or get a referral from your local bar association from firms that may do some pro bono work.
I mean, for fuck's sake, the guy posted on /r/TheRedPill and /r/mensrights but not /r/legaladvice?
Look, every guy here is free to decide how they want to make their bed and lay it. And if you want to poop in that bed after you've eaten a whole wheel of cheese, that's your decision. I won't judge you, and even if I did, you shouldn't care. But I also won't donate to your Paypal account.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Surprise - I just don't like this kind of thing:
this could have been completely avoided if he had vetted properly, kept his princess off the pedestal, lived an interesting life, and led her along as a benevolent dictator.
I can think of 20 men on this sub since I started about a year ago. All of them have suffered and worked hard to be better men. I have great respect for these 20.
I have nothing but empathy for him. But no way he's special. He can find his own cardboard box to live in.
There's a reason that the men keep score.
EDIT: Whoever did it; thanks for the warning label.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
yup. pity stories is a meh in my book.
not my fucking problem and i won't waste time pretending to give a shit.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm still guilty of pretending sometimes….and I fake orgasms too.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
custom flair, very cool
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It just appeared yesterday.
I think it is really a warning label.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am pretty sure mine is too,
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's only fair to the other OP's
Yeah, 8 months, 8 fucking months, and just wanted to vent when he was here.
The spouse and I aren't sure on which is a low value tard here, I think we are both right, but she's more Machiavellian.
He seemed committed to his injection stack, too bad he didn't apply to his marriage. She seemed committed to letting her adulterer friend poison her mind, and he let that sit until it blew up in his face.
I had a feeling he found Jesus when he talked about being sober, was not disappointed... Am now wondering if he stalked her at the bar also... Trp is sadly looking like mra in there, so much for praxeology...
[–]MRPCowboy1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (26 children) | Copy Link
I would not send him money. The whole thing reeks of scam. This is a very classic con. Come to think of it... TRP are probably quite easy marks, actually... Let's warm some popcorn. Why should TBP get all the fun?
[–]RedPill808 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's also within the realm of possibility that he's guilty.
Having lived through a similar situation myself, I feel for him if he's not. Always have the recording device at the ready so it's not just her story in evidence.
[–]BluepillProfessor -2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I was not amused by the story in the least. In fact it triggered me.
I saw it dozens of times, over and over again when I was a legal investigator. Women make false allegations in 30-40% of divorces. They lie in about 99% of so called "domestic violence cases."
In 150 cases in which I was involved, the woman lied in 147 of them either to the police or more commonly when she was dragged in and forced to testify.
I upvoted this as these types of stories need to be told.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
what story? That a guy came to the internet for sympathy and validation, then proceeded to do NO hard work to better his situation. now comes back, hat in hand?
Check his history, 8 months of antiquing and steroids, he was probably fucking those up too.
His story is basically of walking blindly into a divorce ambush.
You Mods have give us the "rest of the story" (Paul Harvey style) about the failure to lead his family and either a) avoid this entirely or b) prepare for the eventual family dissolution of terms favorable to all.
You can sub trp for years, and won't be any more of a man.
At some point, you have to do things
I watch my SIL do the same thing to her ex and her boy friend (with who she also had a kid)...not that either of them are worthwhile individuals. Still it was amazing to watch her justify her actions and my MIL and the other SIL buy it. My wife bought into the reality distortion only until I reminded her we are hearing it second hand and only what her sisters wants us to know. Too many connecting pieces were missing to make the assumptions that were being made.
A woman's reality distortion is strong.
[–]RedPill808 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Here's a gravest extreme example of what women will can/will do to get the upper hand in divorce/custody situations:
A man's worst nightmare
TL;dr: Ex-Wife stages her own bind, torture, rape, & attempted murder in an attempt to obtain sole custody. Ex-husband charged & held on all of the above until a receipt for a bagel saves his life.
[–]jacktenofhearts 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Harrowing story, obviously, but I would point out that Gonzales:
Did he get fucked? Yes. Did he own his shit and solve his problems, or did he whine and ask for handouts on the Internet?
yeah, and anxiety when he sleeps, because he can't be accounted for during those 8 hours.
Good to see some fight in him, but he left with scars
At the end of the day his mind automatically replays his movements, hour by hour, because it was his ability to do that that saved him. After his release he developed the habit of meticulously documenting his whereabouts, eliminating time gaps that might leave him vulnerable. If he's in an airport or a 7-Eleven, he makes sure the surveillance cameras get a good look at his face. Anytime he can swipe his credit card and sign his name, even to buy a pack of gum, he does it. He fills his wallet with receipts and the world with a conspicuous trail. He feels most vulnerable when he is asleep, when, for six or eight hours a night, no cameras are watching, no witnesses are marking his presence, and no one but Louis Gonzalez III can say with certainty where he is
At the end of the day his mind automatically replays his movements, hour by hour, because it was his ability to do that that saved him. After his release he developed the habit of meticulously documenting his whereabouts, eliminating time gaps that might leave him vulnerable.
If he's in an airport or a 7-Eleven, he makes sure the surveillance cameras get a good look at his face. Anytime he can swipe his credit card and sign his name, even to buy a pack of gum, he does it. He fills his wallet with receipts and the world with a conspicuous trail.
He feels most vulnerable when he is asleep, when, for six or eight hours a night, no cameras are watching, no witnesses are marking his presence, and no one but Louis Gonzalez III can say with certainty where he is
Kind of puts a sober thought on some guys who act borderline paranoid when it comes to female interaction. Bleaching used condoms, controlling access etc.
[–]alphabeta49[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hate that she's still free. Bitch isn't a strong enough word. Doesn't help that those articles are written with emotional bias.
she's in bankrupcy, her only out is a new beta bux.
[–]UEMcGill -2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's like the age old statement, "When did you stop beating your wife?". Once it's out there, you can't undo it no matter how false it is.
I'm positive my SIL would be one of these crazy psycho bitches. She caught her beta-boy in a text affair with some chick, talking about some mild leather and bondage shit. She freaked the fuck out. Called him every name in the book, including saying that he wasn't a real man because his job sucked. Threatened to take his kid, make him live in a box (She's the big bux earner) and spewed the most vitriolic things I've ever heard. All over a few dick picks.
She put his ass on lockdown for a year after that, and he upped the beta and became the best little step and fetch bitch he could be. Right now they have "mutual respect"
[–]Trekneck 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Would not be surprised to find out that it was a TPB long game the whole time. Would certainly make for a great "ha gotcha" moment. The moment I read this, all I could think was that this dude was hoping his sob story would generate him some money. Unfortunately, if it's all true, dude's fucked.
[–]MRPCowboy0 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
Oh, puu-lease. TBP are just lazy peanut gallery hecklers trapped on disillusionary pedestals. They couldn't long game if their ability to escape the wall depended on it.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
omlili has suggested that he's a highly respected endorsed contributor on his other account, and calls a lot of the ones he's met IRL white supremecists... Could be bullshit, but theres a reason no one here uses their real name or face
I wouldn't be so sure about that, sociopaths find marks everywhere
[–]MRPCowboy 2 points2 points2 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
If you believe anything OmLiLi writes to entertain little girls I have a bridge to sell you.
You know I'm not talking about u/omlala right?
Two separate accounts
Really? Mind blown.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, every note and again I search for links on posts here, you'd be surprised how many are linked and brigades from there.
I've been banned for fucking around with them, and occasionally I'll see a regular ignoring the crab bucket, trying to reason with them.
And if you are bored, pick the angriest ones, check out their post histories. 99% of them are truly horrible people imo.
Reminds me of every fag hating Evangelical who gets blowies at the airport from black trans men
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I don't believe anyone, but I'm not going to throw my address up here either
[–]MRPCowboy 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
You're making the very big assumption that the name on those papers was actually thegr8b8m8--appearing to expose yourself/making yourself vulnerable to your mark builds a sense of trust and puts you in the position to protect him. That's how the con works.
I don't understand what you're saying
[–]MRPCowboy1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, you weren't following this scam. thegr8b8m8 (the guy OP is requesting help for) is a black market prescription drug dealer and posted scans of "his" protection order with what appear to be his and his wife's full name and enough to quickly find his wife's address. And a paypal link asking for donations in TRP. When you wrote "I'm not going to throw my address up here either" it read as defending his story.
Ah, I honestly hope it's a scam, that means there's a dark triad guy making his way.
The alternative is a fuck up who hasn't done shit but roids, antique dealing, and getting fucked by his wife.
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[–]jacktenofhearts 10 points11 points12 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]MRPCowboy1 points [recovered] (26 children) | Copy Link
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[–]BluepillProfessor -2 points-1 points0 points (12 children) | Copy Link
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[–]UEMcGill -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]MRPCowboy0 points [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
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