Women want strong men. Strong in body, strong in mind, strong socially. The strong body is straightforward - you lift and eat right. The strong mind is harder but equally straighforward - don't be a pussy, don't procrastinate, don't whine.

The desire for men who who are socially strong, who are dominant, that turns everything upside down. The dynamics of this are very counterintuitive.

A few weeks ago a man here posted how he had asked her wife to get him off and said something like "you don't have to blow me, a handjob is fine, it won't take long." On the face it, that seems reasonable. You want a favor and try to sell it to her how little she has to do to increase the chances that she'll do it.

But it's completely wrong. That logic works when a friend asks you of a favor - you look at how much this guy is willing to reciprocate or if you owe him one and do a basic reward vs. effort assessment or something to that nature.

Your wife also does a reward vs. effort assessment when you ask her something. The big difference here is that the reward side of the equation is mainly made up off "am I pleasing a strong alpha?" If you use weak language or act without confidence, the reward side is going to be low and she's not likely to comply.

Let's take an example from an office: some documents need to get sorted and there is you and someone else to do it.

If the other person is an intern he'll go "mister, sorry to bother you, but if you could just show me the right way to index them, it would just take you 10 minutes and it would save me a lot of work, but I'll do the rest".

If the other guy is your boss he'll just tell you to do all the work; he has a meeting to go to.

Outside of "romantic relationships" you can pull authority off to a certain degree just by projecting a confident and assertive attitude, but it will only take you so far. But when it comes to women, they are genetically primed to respond to your social signals. If you talk to her like a boss she will think you're a boss and get wet. Talk like an intern, her pussy will dry up. Treat her like an equal coworker and you get starfish sex.

But the amount of effort asked itself also plays a part, and this is where it gets counterintuitive. Look at the boss vs. intern example again, see how different the workload split is? The less you ask for, the weaker you appear. If she knows you want a 10 minute blowjob and you ask for a 3 minute handjob, you've just told her that you're not dominant. She will work hard for an alpha and she'll happily give him a 10 minute blowjob, but a weak male doesn't qualify for even a quick handjob.

Understanding this makes it much easier to hold a strong frame. It is not just a battle of wills, it is building desire.

So stop worrying about what she wants. She'll rather sit through steak and fries with an alpha than go to her favorite sushi place with a beta. Stop worrying about if something will be hard, unpleasant or time consuming for her.

If you even think about it, go in the other direction. Obviously you need to build some SMV before you can ask her for favors, but as your SMV builds you can add even more to it by demanding more from her. The very act of demanding and experting her to do difficult things for you signals dominance and that makes her wet. And in turn her submissive side is not satisfied by doing easy things for you, it is fulfilled by doing hard things.