We have some awful stories on this sub and on /r/theredpill so I thought I would tell a tale on how it is all supposed to work.
The missis and I are both sick with something close to pneumonia. We were sitting at the kitchen table and she had her head down, listless. I watched her closely and she lifted up her head, made a face and said in a nasty voice:
Her: "What?"
Me: "I am just studying my prey."
Her: "Knock it off, you aren't getting any tonight. I am sick."
Me: (smiling) "OK."
Her: "I am serious. Leave me alone. Don't do this Red Pill thing, I am not in the mood."
Me: "Deary, get your mind out of the gutter. Nobody is having sex tonight."
Her: (Puts head back down).
Me: "Of course that spasmodic coughing might make it interesting. We need to try it without the cough syrup."
Her: (coldly): "Stop. I am serious."
Me: "K."
Long pause
Her: "Can you get me a water?" (We are both sick and the bottles were next to the table so this was an obvious Shit Test a/k/a compliance test).
Me: Waiting for about 30 seconds before complying and handing her the bottled water. I wanted to see if she would escalate after I complied.
Her: (Another long pause....wait for it, I just failed a Shit Test, what do you suppose is going to happen now?)
Barely 20 seconds later.
Her: (seemingly completely random statement in a nasty, shrewish voice). "Did you put one of my new glasses in the freezer?"
(I like to chill my water in the freezer and more than once I have broken a glass).
Me: Ignore
Her: (even nastier voice): "Come on, I want a matched set. Can you stop breaking the damn glasses."
Me: "No."
Her: Exasperated sigh and a fierce scowl.
Me: "We can have a mixed matching set- glass for your aunts, plastic for the teenagers and Styrofoam for the young kids" (Agree and Amplify).
Her: (Anxious and terse tone): "Can you stop this fucking Red Pill shit. You are pissing me off."
Me: "No."
Her: (suddenly visibly relaxing and looking bemused and then taking a deep breath before coughing terribly). "So that was you maintaining frame, right?"
Me: (patting her on the head and scratching behind her ears like a puppy). "Very good mein cherry, and this is called amused mastery."
Her: (Leaning into my hand). "You are crazy, absolutely crazy."
Me: "Of course, I married you didn't I?"
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