Wall of text.

TL:DR. Consider how your wife sees you before assigning yourself a SMV.

The topic of SMV is arguably one of the most important ones that comes up in MRP. Your wife will not have unconditional sex with you if you are perceived by her as not having high enough value. Yes, all the acronyms apply. AWALT etc.

That is the truth, and no matter why you feel she owes you sex, you will never be able to change it. You might argue your way into some starfish, or mate retaining sex, she might offer some maintenance sex out of a sense of duty, but without high enough SMV you will always know that she is not really that into it. The Femz like to talk about rape. It has been discussed here a while ago that a dissatisfied wife is a rape victim.

Let me take it a bit further. If you get starfish sex, you are a rapist. Now before you explode in a feeding frenzy hear me out. Rape in this regard means that you are getting a need fulfilled by somebody giving it up willfully, but begrudgingly. It's the same as getting your need met for social interaction by visiting with someone that is not 100% involved in the moment. You know those people, they are having a half assed conversation with you, but their focus is on the t.v. or they visit with you but, fingerfuck their phones constantly. That is your wife. She is not having sex with you, she is giving you a hole to masturbate into, to get you to shut up...

Do we want that? NO!!! how do we change that? By following the MRP guidelines. But we have to start somewhere. That answer always comes in the form of LIFT and READ. Lifting is the best way to up your SMV in a short time. That "short" time is relative. In a 10 year beta marriage that short can be a year or more.

This is where I come to, when I talk about perceived or true SMV. I see a lot of guys that come here and moan about not getting fucked by their wifes, and then going on to say their SMV is higher than hers... I'm a 8 and she is a 6. If that is truly the case, she would fuck you blind every day.

We need to take a look at everything that contributes to your SMV.

  • Start with your body. The question is asked, would I fuck me? What that means is, is your BF at least below 15%? Are you walking and standing straight up or do you slouch? Are you groomed and presentable at ALL times? Are you dressed sharply? There is numerous posts regarding these questions, as well as the recent DOD. Look at these unbiased.

  • Second is your attitude. Frame is discussed a lot here. Be in your own frame. Be stoic. Be the oak. Be the husband. be the captain. Again there is numerous posts by way superior minds than mine on the sub about all of these things.

  • Next is your value as n man. Do you have meaningful relationships? Do you have meaningful hobbies? Do you have meaningful friendships outside of your marriage where you get and give value? Are you considered an asset at work and in your social circles, in organisations that you are a member of, in your community? Do people know they can count on you when the going gets tough? Again if you do the research there are many posts by the MODs and the flaired guys about this.

These are the questions you need to answer for yourself, and you have to be completely honest. These are all the prerequisites just to achieve dread level 1. That is why MRP is rep pill on hard mode.

Now lets say of arguments sake that you have been at for a year or so, increasing value in all of these aspects, and you can honestly say that you feel you are a 7 or a 8. Great, you are in the top 20% of men on earth today. Well done, it was hard work but you did it.

**"but boesman12, we still aren't having pornstar sex like I see the other guys on the sub are having. I also want to plug her ass with a buttplug and ram my dick down her throat..." Okay, so why is that not happening?

The only logical explanation is that your SMV calculation is wrong, or her SMV calculation of you is different. She perceives your SMV as a lot lower. Is it fair? NO. not at all. But you know.. AWALT.

You need to ask yourself more questions. How beta have I been before I started changing. How did she see me before, versus how she sees me now.

There is a post yesterday about a guy knows of two times his wife has cheated on him. Not once in his post did he say that there is a ultimatum laid down with consequences. What do you think is his SMV in his wife's eyes. 0, -1? He might be a 10 if you take the above questions into consideration. But in her eyes then, he is a sexy, well build rock of a man that she calls her husband. She still doesn't see him as worthy of depositing his sperm in her.

Two examples. I have been working out for a while now. Went from 24%bf to 18. I have upgraded my wardrobe. I lift and read. According to me my SMV has gone from a 5 to a six. ( come now, we can't all be Ryan Gossling) Sex has improved somewhat, but in my heart I know that REAL desire is lacking. Then I had what I thought was a shit test breakthrough in the week and posted about it here. And these guys pointed out to me all the areas I was lacking in. The things I didn't see, but she did. She thinks of me as an untrustworthy man that breaks his promises. I think she is full of shit. Does it matter what I think? No. I can't argue the validity of her feelings. But what I can do is over time change her opinion, by action. Not by word.

Next example. I have a friend that almost nuked his marriage by being fed up. He is now having what he thinks is pornstar sex with a submissive wife. The stories he tell will sell better than 50 shades. But even though she is on extra strength birth control, she absolutely insists on him wearing a condom. Why? It is because although he thinks that his SMV is so high that his wife is constantly dripping for him, she thinks him of such low value that she can't stand the thought of having his sperm inside her. It disgusts her.

If you are noob like me, consider these things in absolute honesty before you consider assigning a SMV to yourself. Reality is a bitch. Woman are exceptionaly critical and cruel when it comes to how she perceives a man.

MRP has lot of good posts about what SMV is and how to change yours. The sidebar books is your pathway to change.

You need to transform yourself into a high SMV man, without it there can be NO desire from your wife. But transforming unfortunately doesn't GUARANTEE her desire. You have to ask yourself constantly if it is worth it, to try and match her criteria. Or is it time to next her and go your own way. If you improve yourself consistently for yourself and you still can't make her see your value, that is when you make the decision if you need her in your life or not.