So you've started lifting, playing coed sports, dressing better, and carrying yourself like a dominant man. You're still pretty 'new' to red pill and as with all new things you're looking for confirmation that what you are doing makes sense. When you walk into a room your mind is focused on being fun, conversational, and looking to avoid the pitfalls you've identified in your recent beta days past. You cue in to people's changing reaction to the way you act and dress. You like what you see and are happy with your progress so far. Someone says to you "Hey I like your new style it looks good on you." Your mind hears this, there's a short circuit to the reward center of your brain. "A small piece of validation" you think. The signal flies so fast that as your mouth is turning to a smile and your are uttering the words "thank you" the scenario hits your rational brain and you recoil at the cliff you've just walked off of. You've just qualified yourself to them, and they (likely) unintentionally baited you into it.

 

As a rephrasing of the above exchange, the person is saying "Hey, your new style pleases me and is more on par with what I like" but your reply gives off the vibe  "I am thankful you are saying that my status is more worthy in your eyes." I find a good correlary to the emotions you'll feel after this exchange is how you feel after you've masturbated. You definately got the pleasure you were seeking...but are ashamed because you're smart enough to know there's a better more fulfilling way.

 

The person's compliment is like a mother patting a child on the head and saying "good job". It's a pitfall that even after I've identified it in my own mind and selected a few alternate responses I still fall into because it's such a preprogrammed response before unplugging to seek and bask in validation.

 

Now take solace in the fact that what they complimented you on is likely how they really feel, and that they likely didnt mean to be a judge and make you the defendant. and because this is in no way a big deal in the grand scheme of things you'll only take a small step back for the 2 it took to get you there. In addition, this is a nice learning experience and next time the scenario presents itself you are more likely to catch yourself before the short circuit happens and respond to "your muscles look great in that shirt" with "girl I know it" or "you got it flipped, these muscles are so tight they make the shirt look good" or the popular "of course they do". These comments not only imply that you are already aware of your value, but take away the inference that she's the judge of your value.

 

The idea can be expanded to what I've dubbed in my head as 'Taking the Gavel Back'. All throughout your life you've lived in the approval or disapproval of other people, banging their gavel and judging you. When you were a baby your parents approved of what you put in your mouth, what you touched, what you were old enough to see and hear and say. In school your teachers approved of your attitude, social interactions, and grades. As you got older your parents and friends' parents approved of where you went, who you hung out with, and who you dated. And when they did approve, you were conditioned like Pavlov's dog to start drooling. So it's just so natural when you get the opportunity to be approved you default to basking in it. But red pill is about internalizing that YOU are the judge of yourself. When you look in the mirror ONLY YOU have to be satisfied with what you see. So when you're faced with a situation like this, where (recent example) you've surprised your wife by taking her to a restaurant she likes because YOU wanted to eat there again, and she asks you "So what made you want to come here?" Take the gavel back, catch yourself before you say "because I love you" which implies this is a gift for her approval, and instead reply with "I saw their new menu and I wanted to try it out." It's a subtle difference, but you imply what you do, you do for you, and she will feel thankful she's with a man whose pleasure consequently makes her happy too.