Talking - why you shouldn't do it and why you sometimes should

September 8, 2016

First, let's be perfectly clear. If you're wavering at all about whether you should open your mouth - don't. Just close your mouth and remove any possible intention you might have of confirming the fact that you are a retard.

Second, if you think you can accomplish anything by just talking - you are wrong. Nothing to argue about, you are simply wrong. If you haven't put in the time, energy, and effort working on yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and philosophically, opening your mouth to say something is the wrong move. This is beside the fact that no one cares what you have to say anyway because you most likely suck.

Third, if the crap you are spewing from your mouth is at all dissonant from what your body language is non-verbally communicating, all you're doing is making yourself look bad. You're either whining (best case, since you've already done that for a long time) or acting like a total retard. If you are not completely congruent in what your mouth is saying, what your heart is feeling, and what your body is projecting - the words coming out of your mouth are completely wasted.

If you take nothing else away from this post - remember this, communication is 55% body language, 38% intonation, and 7% actual words spoken. Think about this the next time you let verbal diarrhea spew uncontrollably out of your mouth. You might think your words are projecting one idea, but I will guarantee you are not communicating what you think your words are communicating. This goes doubly so for every guy that writes "Yeah I was butthurt, but I didn't show it."

The question then becomes - when do you use words.

The most concise explanation I've heard recently has been from Scott Adams, author of the Dilbert comic strip. His commentary has nothing to do MRP per se but he offers insights on hypnosis and behavior.

In a piece he was writing about Trump, Adams' writes

What we saw this week was Trump directly, and skillfully, addressing the public’s concern that he’s scary and temperamentally unfit for the job of president.

Sound similar to any of the accusations of coldness/aloofness/uncaring that you read about on MRP at all? It sure does to me.

He goes on to write

This week he was less bombastic, more on script (using the prompter), and he said in clear language that he was on the side of all Americans, rejecting bigotry and hatred in all forms.

People needed to hear that.

Words alone aren’t enough to change the public’s impression of Trump. But words are a necessary condition of any change, and he got all the words right this week. If he wants to move the polls, he’ll have to stay on these messages and make sure his actions and off-hand jokes don’t conflict with this new and improved approach. (Emphasis mine)

Does this not sound like what many guys are trying to do here at MRP?

The point here is that words potentially offer an explicit and direct explanation of observed changes in behavior. If there is cognitive dissonance between what a recipient expects (old beta behavior) and unexpected behavior (DNGAF, AA, OI) - that tension needs to be resolved at some point. (Note: this is often resolved by the wife becoming acclimated to new behavior.)

We all know that purely talking about behavior changes doesn't work. But with the 7% verbal communication in addition the 93% non-verbal communication, the words coupled with the actions and behavior together can be used to paint a clear picture which sets a new boundary and new set of expectations.

Once these things get verbalized in order to resolve the dissonance, it becomes infinitely more important to stay on point and to stay on message to maintain and reinforce the congruence. Otherwise, your words really don't mean jack shit at all and nothing you do deserves to be respected given the precedence you've set.

This is why if you've been congruent in behavior and mentality for an extended amount of time that has given rise to some level of dissonance, having a frank conversation about expectations is not the worst thing in the world.

If you don't believe that words coupled with consistent behavior can change perceptions, I guess you haven't been paying attention to the polls for the past few days.

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Title Talking - why you shouldn't do it and why you sometimes should
Author weakandsensitive
Upvotes 26
Comments 56
Date September 8, 2016 3:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
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