Note: The following is basically a re-post of my piecemeal posts on MRP about my cheating. Though not a frequent poster, I was encouraged by theultimatecad to tell my story.

I am closer to 70 than 60 now; 2 marriages; financially successful businesses beyond my wildest dreams. Consider myself to be the luckiest guy I ever met.

My first marriage was to a woman with issues that she would not address. After 3 years of marriage, I lost all desire for her and decided to take care of myself. My goal was to get the kids to college age then split, which I almost did. I ran out of gas a few months before the second and last one graduated.

I was amazingly free of guilt, as my goal of raising children that I dearly loved was working for them, and in an unconventional way, it worked for me at that time.

I did as I pleased with my girlfriends with 2 rules. 1) Don't ever embarrass my family and 2) don't get too attached so as to nuke the marriage before I was ready. I was always home on the weekends for the kids and managed to keep up with their activities during the week. But the nights were mine. Often I stayed out all night and returned at 5-6 AM before everyone got up. Occasional business trips and camping trips provided extended time to play. If the SO ever asked, and she seldom did, I told her I was working at my business.

Many here say that you can raise great kids and be divorced. In my situation, I did not, and still don't, believe that.

Their mother (ex-SO) was just too weak a person to produce viable adult outcomes for my children without my daily help and direction. The sacrifice of me having a great marriage, I mitigated with many extramarital affairs. Because of my rule of not getting too attached, the body count was high. I lost count at 100.

I still don't know if I was Alpha or Beta mindset or just a space cadet. It's just what I did and it worked for me, then. Bottom line is, don't judge; but for the luck of your circumstances this could be your story too.

If I could do it over again, I would have never married her, but the child was created and I was pregnancy trapped. At that time in my life, my personal code would not allow me any other alternative to marrying her to begin with.

Based on my experience, I had some good times, maybe the word is bitter-sweet, BUT, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless there was no better choice.

By the way the total cost of the divorce was just north of $750k. It might have been less if I had not waited until the kids were grown.

Once a Cheater Always a Cheater Is a Lie: After the first marriage, I was intentionally celibate for 6 months. Then I met my current SO. This LTR, for most of 25 years, were my happiest years. I never cheated, never even thought about it again, until things cooled off the last few years. Now I am working on me and slowly getting the results I need for me. If I do start cheating again, it will be my last act of desperation; top level dread, the dead cat bounce of this LTR.

Conclusion: Don't forget that you really are the prize. There is more pussy out there than you can ever do. I loved the chase, but a good LTR were the best years of my life.

Cheating is about you and no one else. It will not fix your LTR, and will probably nuke it sooner or later.

Be happy, be wise, be careful; and get a reversible vasectomy. (and if all you can do is judge me – get smiley face fucked.)