The Cheating Thread

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-13T00:30:13+00:00

OK I will play but I need to substitute my buddy for me. I started a thread about Prostitute Game which you can read here.

I have talked with him about this plenty of times and I know all the answers:

"It just happened." Yah, he really said that. Stripper nuzzled u to him for a lap dance. Then she led him into the back room, danced for him, pulled off his pants, rode him for a while and then sucked him off. On further questions, he was pissed at his wife for turning him down several days in a row.
He has not swallowed the pill and all he knows of TRP is from our discussions so it was Pre-TRP.
Asked and answered. She was a professional ho.
He didn't tell her/showered when he got home etc.
Immediately after he needed therapy and some serious beer and bro time for confession. He claimed to be upset but he kept joking about it.
He still jokes about it.
Nobody found out. She might freak out and kill him if she did.
Did sex get better? Great Question! His wife woke him up with a morning BJ the next day prompting his question- can they smell that on you? Yes, I believe they can.
He says it is like doing cocaine. He only does it a couple times a year.
He SAYS it was negative but it was clearly a positive for him, his confidence, and even his marriage.

geezertrp · 2015-03-13T12:32:40+00:00

As one of the previous responders said, it wasn't just about the sex. It was about getting female attention and validation. I wanted to be/feel desired by a woman again.
It was pre. Although it did follow a proto-red pill blow up. I did an FR post a couple weeks backs that talks about this as part of my RP journey in more detail.
I didn't. She found me. We were both in the same professional society. Once again, see my other post, but she got wind that my (48, obese, uber-beta, 1%-er income-wise) marriage was not good, and she (38, still body of mid-late 20s 8 gal, in financial trouble) acquired betabux target lock.
At the time I was a consultant at a large company. I traveled. Kept odd hours. Had a couple of extra income side projects. I belong to a couple of professional societies and a some other social organizations. So my schedule was all over the place. Part of what I did involved phone apps so I always had extras for the business lying around as test units. I got a separate phone to deal with the mistress and just left it in the pile of test units in my home office. Hell, we even did some side actual projects together. The wife met her as my business associate. (Aside. There is a saying about not shitting where you eat. I did that the other way around. So my corollary is now, "If you're sitting on the shitter, don't order a pizza.")
The mistress left me for an 0.1%-er multi-millionaire she met via online dating. I was crushed. Ironically, my reaction to this (diet, lift, run, row, double income, become a community leader) is what restarted my wife's attraction to me and saved my marriage.
Mixed. I broke my word (marriage vows), which is something I try my hardest not to do. But without the experience, I would still be 100 lb. overweight, and probably divorced.
No.
It got better. But not immediately afterwards. As I said elsewhere, the affair and its painful ending were a catalyst that caused me to radically improve my SMV, which fixed my marriage down the road.
I don't plan on cheating. But the current iteration of me gets a lot more opportunity. I've also never been a natural, intuitive PUA type of guy. But now that my high IQ brain knows what to look for and shores up my lower EQ, I see IOIs all the time. That helps with abundance mentality, which helps me keep a frame that both gives the wife tingles and keeps her on her toes. So without TRP, yeah, my marriage would still suck, and if it had still survived to this point (unlikely) I'd be looking for another affair, or maybe even banging escorts. (Which considering the bucks dropped on the mistress, would have been cheaper).
It started as exhilarating, ended up excruciating, but had a long-term net positive outcome. A classic case of that which does not kill me, makes me stronger. If I could do it over, with 20/20 hindsight, from the night the mistress asked me to her apartment, I'd decline, and start Stronglifts the next morning.

spiritualintrusion · 2015-03-12T23:28:51+00:00

I've been to a prostitute, once, after swallowing the pill. Considering doing it again.

To take power away from her (in my mind). To learn to give less fucks.
Post, I would never have done it pre-TRP
Found a prostitute online
I was a consultant, did it during regular business hours. She actually called me during the act itself. Didn't pick up, which wasn't too irregular. Took a shower immediately after. Cleared my phone of all incriminating evidence.
Weird. But neutral. "I just stuck my dick in someone who wasn't my wife." Very surreal.
Fine. I realize this is anger phase talk, but she didn't hold up her end of the bargain in the marriage, so I saw no need to keep sticking to my end of it.
No.
I'm thinking about doing it again, but preferably with someone hotter.
It was a barrier for me to overcome, having been brainwashed my whole life that paying for sex is morally wrong. It isn't! I am happy I overcame that barrier. It was nice to see that sex is so readily available, but I am still internalizing the lesson. Pretty positive experience, but not total gamechanger.

AZTRP · 2015-03-12T23:05:03+00:00

From a previous marriage:

I wanted good sex, sometimes with someone hot. I wasn't getting enough at home. Wife was hot. Sex was good. Just not enough.
PreTRP
At bars, through friends
Barely, they'll know. It's entirely inconvenient to keep them 100% in the dark.
Like shit, not proud. Akin to how horny you are before rubbing one out then after you're not horny anymore.
Still shitty. Still try to rationalize why I would be dishonest to a vow I made. Where's my integrity?
About one or two. Nothing concrete. She blew up, life was hell.
Nope. Though, even in current marriage I still think about it.
If she's not hotter than your wife, if the sex isn't better, and you feel like shit, then the experience is negative. However, if it was Scarlett Johanson, I wouldn't feel bad at all.

Edit: to add. If you want sex, just hot sex with someone hot, ask me about the right way to get an escort. I've done it a few times pre-TRP and it cures what ails you with no fucking weird calls or texts after.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-13T00:00:59+00:00

I know that cheating is a deal breaker and the end of the marriage. That's a cost I'm not willing to pay (yet). Although if I was willing to pay the cost, I'd probably be willing to walk from the marriage, which is what I would intend to do first.

alphabeta49 · 2015-03-12T23:37:09+00:00

This thread is mah jam. TRP is amoral, right? Here we go...

1. I cheated because I wanted some female attention and validation. It wasn't just about the sex.

The story is, we started dating in college and started having great sex right away. We were both virgins. We finished up our undergrad and jumped into a masters program together (same degree). Within the course of one year, we got married, had a kid, went through the two hardest semesters of school, and bought a house. Needless to say, the sex was rare, especially after the first kid was born. The longest dry spell was 7 months. She just seemed too wrapped up in being a mother to have any extra time for me. I even tried the 10-second kiss (before I knew what it was), and her response was to literally squirm away from me and attend to some non-existent baby issue.

I cheated once during this time, but the horrible immorality freaked me out and I didn't do it again for awhile.

Then, BAM, we got pregnant again. Yes, both pregnancies were surprises; we were stupid and relied on the pull-out method. I knew what was coming and saw her speeding further into motherhood and away from me, so I said fuck it and got up to three women at a time. This was almost two years ago.

The key that led me to cheat is that I got oneitis and locked myself down before spinning plates like I wanted to (didn't know it was called that back then).

2. It was definitely pre-swallowing the pill. I swallowed the pill because once the cheating came to light and we got through the rough patch, I felt myself becoming dissatisfied again, and I didn't want to take the same route.

3. Craigslist. I'm sure there's some diamonds in the rough on there, and I got the whole spectrum. A quick rundown, from best to worst, for science:

32, post-wall, white trashy, bigger but carried her weight extremely well and knew how to wear the right kind of bra. Lots of tattoos, wild romp in bed. Had a baby daddy and three kids.
19, petite college student, the hottest BY FAR, but already in a relationship and was the only one I didn't actually fuck, so we didn't get past 2nd base. Had a baby shortly after and wanted to LJBF me.
28, chunky Mexican whose fiancee was working to cross the border to be with her. Confident woman, tried really hard to seduce me.
35, large soccer mom with the biggest tits I've ever had the pleasure of... doing. Sexually shy, but fell for me hard. I cut it off because she was too clingy. She still emails me wanting me back.
30, morbidly obese. The only thing positive I can take away is that I'll always be able to 1up anyone else when it comes to fattest lay.
Also hired a hooker once, but I don't know stats (duh) except that she was pregnant (its a fetish of mine). I do know she was cheap and on the wrong side of town. Thankfully she was safe and insisted on a condom, even for a bj.

4. Lots and lots and lots of lies. Amorally speaking, cheating is just plain tiring. There's too much to keep track of, who you told what, etc. Because I didn't give out real information about myself other than my first name, I had to come up with an alter ego. Also, there's an app I used that hides texts and pics. Ironically, that will be covered more in #7...

5. The first time, like I said, I freaked out and deleted everything, convinced I was going to hell. After that, it was pretty much nothing but good feelings. Even felt accomplished when, one time, I fucked a girl in the afternoon then came home and gave it to my wife, hard. She was surprised I lasted that long. Little did she know...

6. Hard to say. I regret it because it was the worst example of BP thinking I've ever exhibited.

"My wife won't have sex with me or show me attention? I'm not gonna try that hard to fix my marriage and just go get it elsewhere."

What I should have done is decided if I still wanted to be with this woman or not. Better yet, I shouldn't have proposed to her in the first place and just spun plates until I was ready, mature, and stable enough to be faithful and MAKE my marriage work WITHOUT cheating. Cheating from a BP mindset is definitely the worst move possible.

7. Remember that app I was using? You're supposed to give a dummy password if someone ever questions it. (It looks like a file storage app.) When she confronted me about it, I forgot about it and backed myself into a corner. For the next several months she got away with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, I saw a sex addiction therapist who put the blame on me and my upbringing, and I was the broken one who needed to fix myself and her. Since then I've realized she played a part in leading me to cheat because she ignored my calls for attention, and I've held her responsible for that.

8. Had the best sex up until that point right after the affairs were discovered, I think because she wanted to prove she was still fun and felt like she had lost me. But it dried up quickly once the pain settled in. Got worse and worse until I found the pill. Recently had the best of our lives. ;)

9. I don't think I will. It would have to be a pretty fucking hot babe, and I don't run into those usually. Even then, I don't think it would be worth jeopardizing what I've been working so hard to accomplish since swallowing the pill. I do dream of the freedom to spin plates and travel, but then I think of my kids.

10. Overall, positive. Why? Because I got to experience that AWALT, and the cheating was a catalyst that helped me swallow the pill quicker. Had I not cheated, I would have ended up like many men on here who found TRP only after 10, 15, even 20 years of BP slavery.

Bluepillprofessor once said that alphas tend to cheat. I would agree, but add that betas can cheat too. Its the reason for the cheating that makes all the difference. Alphas cheating is a fuckton of nuclear shit-her-pants dread. Betas cheating is just the pussy's way out of a tough situation you can't man up enough to handle.

Thanks for facilitating that walk down memory lane...

Edited for clarity and formatting

alphabeta49 · 2015-03-12T23:51:51+00:00

I'd like to hear from /u/spacelord777 too.

alpha_n3rd · 2015-03-13T02:05:33+00:00

Therapeutic time!!!!

Fun post but me thinks you gonna have to live the experience to truly know the answers to your own questions. If you do then please PM me as I'm keen to hear

My affair, transformation to RP, and marriage improvements are likely middle innings:

My marriage sucked pre red pill. Was always on eggshells to keep wife from being upset. I was fat and wore old clothes. Did way too much around house. Had sex twice a month. And...Wife likely cheated few years back. Can prove the emotional affair with one guy. Found suspicious visit or two to old bf town that was concealed. I spent a month keyloging and going through old bills and texts and emails trying to get a true picture.

I never found a smoking gun but I had enough to know. AWALT. I woulda brushed this off in former dayz

I wasn't sure what to do but knew I needed to go slow. Knew a sexy woman who was bored by her needy husband but I had been holding back. I found RP at this time. To this day I can't tell you my end game bro....Wife knows I am on to her lies but only because she found out I paternity tested kids (mine whew). Calmly told her I knew everything. When she tried to cry and explain etc...I walked away. Left her in a position where I am the decider. She will live with my decisions and my life is gonna be swell either way.

Never yelled. Never asked questions. I had months lead time on this knowledge. She had nothing to work with..can't gas light me. And the fact that I'm so cold and so unaffected is killing her....with desire. She has been on her best behavior since and my true fuck doll.

I have her on a medium course of dread forever more.

Men on the main sub sorted me out when I was really in pain. Now I am fine. Not angry. I truly get it and my ego is minimized as much as I can.

You have no idea how your ego is your own worst enemy

Here are the answers to your questions

Cheated because marriage was sliding due to me being a genuine bp phaggot. Got to point when I didn't care anymore and a really sexy neighbor was DTF. I found RP at exact same time as this began so it's been very interesting as this woman only knows theultmatecad as aware.

She is local. Kids friends mom. Been pretty easy to keep it hidden. She has just as much to lose as me. I don't really feel anything about it. I think I have been so wrapped up with getting my shit together that I leave the feels to everyone else in my life.

I've enjoyed the justification to be stoic that red pill allows. Wife doesn't know and sex got much better but there are many reasons why this could have happened. It's been a great ride and is still going. GF woulda left family for me but now she senses I'm not gonna "be there" for any woman, ever again. I am her true AF

You have no idea what AF can get away with...

imspunkticus · 2015-03-13T14:08:02+00:00

Here's why cheating was such an important part of my RP transition:
1. It allowed me to remove my wife's power over sex by experiencing things I hadn't had in a decade.
2. It meant I could objectively assess my SMV and therefore led to OI.
I cheated, then shortly after I discovered TRP through r/deadbedrooms and r/adultery. I've been applying things I learned through TRP and from dominating my mistress (who, coincidentally, is the epitome of the trp understanding of women).
Wife still doesn't know and I won't be telling her. But the improvement has been astounding. Regular sex, bjs, got her wimpering for more. In the past it was monthly missionary bad sex no oral for ten years. She was the kind of woman who 'just doesn't think about sex at all'.
I think TRP alone would have got me here, but it might have taken longer.

[deleted] · 2015-03-13T13:39:58+00:00

Never have cheated, BUT I'd like to think if a hot, early 20's, thin, big tits and ass, wanted to fuck me I'd probably do it. My wife is a medium to "bigger" girl; she's not an overweight whale but not a Kate Upton. She kinda like plus size models just without the height.

That being said, I've never fucked anything beside women like my wife. This is due to beta days and that's all I could fucking get. Like a said, if a completely opposite girl wanted a good fuck, I'd probably do it.

Fentrix · 2015-03-14T16:26:34+00:00

1) The first time I did what I considered cheating, it was a pretty complicated story that, of course, involves a woman. She and I had been going out a long time.I was open poly with 4 gfs and she was open poly with 2 bfs, we got together and clicked big. Then there was a time when I needed to focus more on my life and she got another man. This other man hated me and the other two bfs (well, this is what she said, I don't really trust anything she said now), and worked to push me and them out. So eventually I got get up and went to next her but ended up getting back together with her a week later. Well she said that her other guy just would not accept me being back in her life so we had to cheat and lie to him. Now I've been with women with husbands before (this one actually had a husband) but this was very very different. She was very active in her relationship with this other guy and with me. But here's the thing, she wasn't comfortable with me having all the power in the relationship so I basically set up this "mutualy assured destruction" clause where I didn't tell my main plate (this woman was not my main) that I was back together again. It's the first and only time I've ever hidden something like that from my main. Honestly, it's mostly never worth it.

2) to be fully honest, while a lot of RP resonates true with me, a lot of it is just cearly wrong and doesn't match up with my experiences. I'm not sure I will ever fully swallow it, but I see how it is helpful to an AFC. On average, redpill has some useful things because more people are submissive. I see this all the time as a dom. I go to a D/s function and it's 3:1 sub to dom ratio, and all the subs stand around looking pathetic hoping a dom picks them. So since that is true of most people, when you apply the male dom:woman sub, dynamic, it will work often. I also know women it will never work with and all you will get is a damn mess. Still, plenty of fish in the sea so whatever. Point is all this shit was before I started even researching this stuff, but I had come to a lot of the same conclusions and many counterconclusions.

3) internet

4) my main plate and I have this kind of "don't ask, don't tell" policy. She honestly thought I was off with another woman. Main plate and this one didn't get along but tolerated each other.

5) It's really annoying.

6) It was really annoying.

7) I told main plate about it after I went nuclear on our relationship, but nothing much happened except a few "I told you so"s

8) No effect. She probably expects this kind of shit from me.

9) Never say never. I wouldn't plan on it. It's also easier just to maintain your need for other relationships. There were weird extenuating circumstances here.

10) Neutral, slightly negative because it is a little more challenging than open poly.

TekkomanKingz · 2015-03-14T19:50:57+00:00

This shouldn't be about sex. Men only value Women who they give commitment.

wolfhawk706 · 2015-03-12T22:49:06+00:00

RemindMe!

alpha_n3rd · 2015-03-13T06:23:37+00:00

Presupposing that cheating means she is entitled to the entire perfect loving commitment and exclusivity that the one she offers obligates you to match. I don't even believe any man who ever lived is doing any less than getting his due when he takes on more than one at a time. In my view, No woman is equal or worthy even the worst man's love. I just can't call it cheating until a magic unicorn woman matches his commitment and service. Nawalt. Until then, polygamy is extremely valid, and its not cheating. Presupposing its cheating assumes her love is equal to yours, and its not. Youre better than her.

Title	The Cheating Thread
Author	alpha_n3rd
Upvotes	10
Comments	50
Date	March 12, 2015 10:20 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	/r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/the-cheating-thread.202363 https://theredarchive.com/post/202363
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2yug57/the_cheating_thread/