~ archived since 2018 ~

The Cheating Thread

March 12, 2015

As somebody who's seriously considering going for some strange someday, I want to know about your affairs. Who, what, when, where, why, and how?

Specifically I'm curious about:

  1. Why did you cheat?
  2. *Was it pre/post swallowing TRP?
  3. How did you find your mistress?
  4. How did you keep your wife in the dark?
  5. How did you feel about it immediately afterwards?
  6. How do you feel about it now?
  7. Did your wife ever find out and how? What happened?
  8. *Did sex with your wife get better or worse afterwards?
  9. Do you plan to cheat again? *Has TRP had any impact on this?
  10. Overall positive or negative experience?

Please do NOT:

  • Judge
  • Shame
  • Argue whether cheating is RP (*although cheaters I'm interested in your opinion on the subject WRT your own experience)
  • Accuse others of male hamstering when they explain why they cheated

Discussing the objective risk/reward of cheating is OK and really at the heart of what I'm trying to understand.

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Post Information
Title The Cheating Thread
Author alpha_n3rd
Upvotes 10
Comments 50
Date March 12, 2015 10:20 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/the-cheating-thread.202363
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2yug57/the_cheating_thread/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

OK I will play but I need to substitute my buddy for me. I started a thread about Prostitute Game which you can read here.

I have talked with him about this plenty of times and I know all the answers:

  1. "It just happened." Yah, he really said that. Stripper nuzzled u to him for a lap dance. Then she led him into the back room, danced for him, pulled off his pants, rode him for a while and then sucked him off. On further questions, he was pissed at his wife for turning him down several days in a row.

  2. He has not swallowed the pill and all he knows of TRP is from our discussions so it was Pre-TRP.

  3. Asked and answered. She was a professional ho.

  4. He didn't tell her/showered when he got home etc.

  5. Immediately after he needed therapy and some serious beer and bro time for confession. He claimed to be upset but he kept joking about it.

  6. He still jokes about it.

  7. Nobody found out. She might freak out and kill him if she did.

  8. Did sex get better? Great Question! His wife woke him up with a morning BJ the next day prompting his question- can they smell that on you? Yes, I believe they can.

  9. He says it is like doing cocaine. He only does it a couple times a year.

  10. He SAYS it was negative but it was clearly a positive for him, his confidence, and even his marriage.

[–]geezertrp4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

  1. As one of the previous responders said, it wasn't just about the sex. It was about getting female attention and validation. I wanted to be/feel desired by a woman again.

  2. It was pre. Although it did follow a proto-red pill blow up. I did an FR post a couple weeks backs that talks about this as part of my RP journey in more detail.

  3. I didn't. She found me. We were both in the same professional society. Once again, see my other post, but she got wind that my (48, obese, uber-beta, 1%-er income-wise) marriage was not good, and she (38, still body of mid-late 20s 8 gal, in financial trouble) acquired betabux target lock.

  4. At the time I was a consultant at a large company. I traveled. Kept odd hours. Had a couple of extra income side projects. I belong to a couple of professional societies and a some other social organizations. So my schedule was all over the place. Part of what I did involved phone apps so I always had extras for the business lying around as test units. I got a separate phone to deal with the mistress and just left it in the pile of test units in my home office. Hell, we even did some side actual projects together. The wife met her as my business associate. (Aside. There is a saying about not shitting where you eat. I did that the other way around. So my corollary is now, "If you're sitting on the shitter, don't order a pizza.")

  5. The mistress left me for an 0.1%-er multi-millionaire she met via online dating. I was crushed. Ironically, my reaction to this (diet, lift, run, row, double income, become a community leader) is what restarted my wife's attraction to me and saved my marriage.

  6. Mixed. I broke my word (marriage vows), which is something I try my hardest not to do. But without the experience, I would still be 100 lb. overweight, and probably divorced.

  7. No.

  8. It got better. But not immediately afterwards. As I said elsewhere, the affair and its painful ending were a catalyst that caused me to radically improve my SMV, which fixed my marriage down the road.

  9. I don't plan on cheating. But the current iteration of me gets a lot more opportunity. I've also never been a natural, intuitive PUA type of guy. But now that my high IQ brain knows what to look for and shores up my lower EQ, I see IOIs all the time. That helps with abundance mentality, which helps me keep a frame that both gives the wife tingles and keeps her on her toes. So without TRP, yeah, my marriage would still suck, and if it had still survived to this point (unlikely) I'd be looking for another affair, or maybe even banging escorts. (Which considering the bucks dropped on the mistress, would have been cheaper).

  10. It started as exhilarating, ended up excruciating, but had a long-term net positive outcome. A classic case of that which does not kill me, makes me stronger. If I could do it over, with 20/20 hindsight, from the night the mistress asked me to her apartment, I'd decline, and start Stronglifts the next morning.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome report

[–]spiritualintrusion7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've been to a prostitute, once, after swallowing the pill. Considering doing it again.

  1. To take power away from her (in my mind). To learn to give less fucks.
  2. Post, I would never have done it pre-TRP
  3. Found a prostitute online
  4. I was a consultant, did it during regular business hours. She actually called me during the act itself. Didn't pick up, which wasn't too irregular. Took a shower immediately after. Cleared my phone of all incriminating evidence.
  5. Weird. But neutral. "I just stuck my dick in someone who wasn't my wife." Very surreal.
  6. Fine. I realize this is anger phase talk, but she didn't hold up her end of the bargain in the marriage, so I saw no need to keep sticking to my end of it.
  7. No.
  8. I'm thinking about doing it again, but preferably with someone hotter.
  9. It was a barrier for me to overcome, having been brainwashed my whole life that paying for sex is morally wrong. It isn't! I am happy I overcame that barrier. It was nice to see that sex is so readily available, but I am still internalizing the lesson. Pretty positive experience, but not total gamechanger.

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was nice to see that sex is so readily available, but I am still internalizing the lesson.

Exactly. Something I've learned via TRP is that all sex has a price. Married sex has a price, which is mortgage, food, car, bills, etc. Prostitutes have a price too, usually a couple hundred.

[–]phoenix_mdMarried Man -MRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So post-RP my impulse would be to give that prostitute the best sex she's had in years. To use my confidence and new Sex God mastery to own her. I know it's hard without the emotional connection but that would be my goal. Did you have any success in this regard?

[–]spiritualintrusion1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This might be different for you, but for me, breaking the taboo(s) was enough of a challenge for a first go. I had no aspirations to blow her mind. I learned a lot from just going.

[–]AZTRP5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

From a previous marriage:

  1. I wanted good sex, sometimes with someone hot. I wasn't getting enough at home. Wife was hot. Sex was good. Just not enough.
  2. PreTRP
  3. At bars, through friends
  4. Barely, they'll know. It's entirely inconvenient to keep them 100% in the dark.
  5. Like shit, not proud. Akin to how horny you are before rubbing one out then after you're not horny anymore.
  6. Still shitty. Still try to rationalize why I would be dishonest to a vow I made. Where's my integrity?
  7. About one or two. Nothing concrete. She blew up, life was hell.
  8. Nope. Though, even in current marriage I still think about it.
  9. If she's not hotter than your wife, if the sex isn't better, and you feel like shit, then the experience is negative. However, if it was Scarlett Johanson, I wouldn't feel bad at all.

Edit: to add. If you want sex, just hot sex with someone hot, ask me about the right way to get an escort. I've done it a few times pre-TRP and it cures what ails you with no fucking weird calls or texts after.

[–]phoenix_mdMarried Man -MRP APPROVED8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Okay, I'm taking the bait. What's the right way?

[–]AZTRP3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay, there's some interest it appears. They can be helpful. I'll make a post in /r/TRPOffTopic. It'll probably be about a day before I can post a worthwhile post because there are quite a few points to consider.

[–]AZTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Staying accountable here. Still working on it between work and play. I under estimated how much needs to be written to make it worthwhile. Tuesday is my next open day. Expect it later that day and I'll ping your inbox when its up.

[–]merodiaj2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Taking the bait too. Especially concerned about not getting STDs.

[–]AZTRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay, there's some interest it appears. They can be helpful. I'll make a post in /r/TRPOffTopic. It'll probably be about a day before I can post a worthwhile post because there are quite a few points to consider.

[–]AZTRP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Staying accountable here. Still working on it between work and play. I under estimated how much needs to be written to make it worthwhile. Tuesday is my next open day. Expect it later that day and I'll ping your inbox when its up.

[–]merodiaj0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey, thanks for the heads up and no worries: take the time you need

[–]alpha_n3rdMarried[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for the response.

Do you think your affairs led in any way to your divorce with wife #1?

[–]AZTRP3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most definitely. A lot of issues came from that

  • She'd never let anything go, start losing a fight she brings it up. etc.

  • She is the sweetest most loyal thing, brought her over from overseas. Completely dedicated. We argued a lot. I felt like shit for being such a selfish prick. My actions caused her to feel shitty and lowered her self worth. I wish I had found MarriedTRP, etc sooner.

  • Through the affairs I decided that even with all her pros and cons if we didn't fuck enough then it wasn't a marriage.

TL;DR Still feel shitty about it but the realization is if you're in a marriage without sex and TRP isn't helping you or helping her see the light, then maybe marriage isn't the answer anymore. Cut rope, and count your losses.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

I know that cheating is a deal breaker and the end of the marriage. That's a cost I'm not willing to pay (yet). Although if I was willing to pay the cost, I'd probably be willing to walk from the marriage, which is what I would intend to do first.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Tell it to Hillary. "Cheating" is currently acceptable in much of the world. In Africa, France, and South America, and inner city areas of the United States it is expected that boy will be boys.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

And this is true. And I would believe it. And with good reason.

And yet, this has been explicitly stated as a deal breaker, so at this moment, I'm not interested in touching that line at all. There's too much good stuff going on to throw it away recklessly. I can't say I foresee the amount of good stuff getting less. So the cost benefit doesn't really work out.

[–]RPSigmaStigmaMarried- MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

My wife always told me that if I ever cheated on her she'd divorce me. I cheated on her, gamma white knight pussy-assed friend told her,she didn't say shit to me and just started having an affair with him. I caught her and we agreed on an open marriage.

Look at what women do, not what they say.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You might be very well be right. I'm just not interested in finding out. It's a really poor risk-reward trade-off for me at this point in time. The way it currently works is if I'm not fully satisfied in the relationship, we work together on fixing that.

A friend of mine has had a long time girlfriend, and they go hunting together for a third girl. They're really good at it. I respect that a lot, but don't really have an interest in that. Different dynamics work for different people.

[–]RPSigmaStigmaMarried- MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nor sure who down voted you, but i totally understand what you're saying. I'm not here to promote it, I'm just explaining the red pill psychology.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought about what you said more last night too. And I was thinking about whether this was a fear of divorce situation, because that's the consequence I know of as it's laid out on the table (may or may not happen). I don't think I'm afraid of divorce, but I don't want to tempt it.

The best analogy I could come up with is this. It's like if there's a hungry shark in a tank. Chances are the shark would leave you alone if you went swimming with it. Chances are also that the shark would eat you or part of you. Some people might say that you're afraid of the shark. I'd disagree. It's not that you're afraid of the shark, it's that you don't want to find out what the outcome would be. I think if you were so inclined, you'd take the plunge knowing full well the possible outcome. But maybe that's just hamstering.

Or that dude who lives with tigers. I want nothing to do with that. He recognizes they could kill him, but he's willing to do it. I'm not willing to at all. But I can admit that I'm scared as hell of a lion kicking my ass.

Not too sure, not worth spending too much energy thinking about.

Edit: This just came into my head -- the reason I'm not willing to do it (now/yet) is because I know wife will be devastated. That's huge value taking instead of value giving. With the lion and shark, the only person affected is me, so only my perspective matters in the equation. That's the distinction of why it's not fear of divorce for me - I'm disinclined to go out of my way to hurt people without purpose. Thanks for your comment.

[–]alpha_n3rdMarried[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you have a cheating experience to share or are you just sharing your opinion? Because this is a thread for sharing your experiences.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Where do you see an opinion? The only thing I'm offering is my perspective that comes from my own relationship in regards to this topic.

Are you looking for a circle jerk on people who do and have cheated? Notice how the majority of people posting cheated while they were beta and as a means of looking for control/validation/etc. Not exactly coincidence. It's not that cheating is beta. It's that betas cheat for a different reason. "Betas cheating is just the pussy's way out of a tough situation you can't man up enough to handle." - alphabeta49

The point is men who are leading their family are the getting the proper sexual satisfaction from their women, because their women are willing to work hard for them. These men will cheat when their women aren't pulling their shit and make a conscious choice to do. Again, the point is if you are a high value man, have the self respect, and demand high quality from your woman/women, she/they (most likely) will put in the work necessary to satisfy you.

Your comments are come off as super salty when you talk about how people 'not really on topic', 'sorry for the downvotes', and 'fucking SJWs must have gotten in here'.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn, I love your commentary /u/whinemoreplease.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree that cheating isn't alpha or beta as both do it. For different reasons and they come from different places.

Good insight

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

This thread is mah jam. TRP is amoral, right? Here we go...

1. I cheated because I wanted some female attention and validation. It wasn't just about the sex.

The story is, we started dating in college and started having great sex right away. We were both virgins. We finished up our undergrad and jumped into a masters program together (same degree). Within the course of one year, we got married, had a kid, went through the two hardest semesters of school, and bought a house. Needless to say, the sex was rare, especially after the first kid was born. The longest dry spell was 7 months. She just seemed too wrapped up in being a mother to have any extra time for me. I even tried the 10-second kiss (before I knew what it was), and her response was to literally squirm away from me and attend to some non-existent baby issue.

I cheated once during this time, but the horrible immorality freaked me out and I didn't do it again for awhile.

Then, BAM, we got pregnant again. Yes, both pregnancies were surprises; we were stupid and relied on the pull-out method. I knew what was coming and saw her speeding further into motherhood and away from me, so I said fuck it and got up to three women at a time. This was almost two years ago.

The key that led me to cheat is that I got oneitis and locked myself down before spinning plates like I wanted to (didn't know it was called that back then).

2. It was definitely pre-swallowing the pill. I swallowed the pill because once the cheating came to light and we got through the rough patch, I felt myself becoming dissatisfied again, and I didn't want to take the same route.

3. Craigslist. I'm sure there's some diamonds in the rough on there, and I got the whole spectrum. A quick rundown, from best to worst, for science:

  • 32, post-wall, white trashy, bigger but carried her weight extremely well and knew how to wear the right kind of bra. Lots of tattoos, wild romp in bed. Had a baby daddy and three kids.

  • 19, petite college student, the hottest BY FAR, but already in a relationship and was the only one I didn't actually fuck, so we didn't get past 2nd base. Had a baby shortly after and wanted to LJBF me.

  • 28, chunky Mexican whose fiancee was working to cross the border to be with her. Confident woman, tried really hard to seduce me.

  • 35, large soccer mom with the biggest tits I've ever had the pleasure of... doing. Sexually shy, but fell for me hard. I cut it off because she was too clingy. She still emails me wanting me back.

  • 30, morbidly obese. The only thing positive I can take away is that I'll always be able to 1up anyone else when it comes to fattest lay.

  • Also hired a hooker once, but I don't know stats (duh) except that she was pregnant (its a fetish of mine). I do know she was cheap and on the wrong side of town. Thankfully she was safe and insisted on a condom, even for a bj.

4. Lots and lots and lots of lies. Amorally speaking, cheating is just plain tiring. There's too much to keep track of, who you told what, etc. Because I didn't give out real information about myself other than my first name, I had to come up with an alter ego. Also, there's an app I used that hides texts and pics. Ironically, that will be covered more in #7...

5. The first time, like I said, I freaked out and deleted everything, convinced I was going to hell. After that, it was pretty much nothing but good feelings. Even felt accomplished when, one time, I fucked a girl in the afternoon then came home and gave it to my wife, hard. She was surprised I lasted that long. Little did she know...

6. Hard to say. I regret it because it was the worst example of BP thinking I've ever exhibited.

"My wife won't have sex with me or show me attention? I'm not gonna try that hard to fix my marriage and just go get it elsewhere."

What I should have done is decided if I still wanted to be with this woman or not. Better yet, I shouldn't have proposed to her in the first place and just spun plates until I was ready, mature, and stable enough to be faithful and MAKE my marriage work WITHOUT cheating. Cheating from a BP mindset is definitely the worst move possible.

7. Remember that app I was using? You're supposed to give a dummy password if someone ever questions it. (It looks like a file storage app.) When she confronted me about it, I forgot about it and backed myself into a corner. For the next several months she got away with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse, I saw a sex addiction therapist who put the blame on me and my upbringing, and I was the broken one who needed to fix myself and her. Since then I've realized she played a part in leading me to cheat because she ignored my calls for attention, and I've held her responsible for that.

8. Had the best sex up until that point right after the affairs were discovered, I think because she wanted to prove she was still fun and felt like she had lost me. But it dried up quickly once the pain settled in. Got worse and worse until I found the pill. Recently had the best of our lives. ;)

9. I don't think I will. It would have to be a pretty fucking hot babe, and I don't run into those usually. Even then, I don't think it would be worth jeopardizing what I've been working so hard to accomplish since swallowing the pill. I do dream of the freedom to spin plates and travel, but then I think of my kids.

10. Overall, positive. Why? Because I got to experience that AWALT, and the cheating was a catalyst that helped me swallow the pill quicker. Had I not cheated, I would have ended up like many men on here who found TRP only after 10, 15, even 20 years of BP slavery.

Bluepillprofessor once said that alphas tend to cheat. I would agree, but add that betas can cheat too. Its the reason for the cheating that makes all the difference. Alphas cheating is a fuckton of nuclear shit-her-pants dread. Betas cheating is just the pussy's way out of a tough situation you can't man up enough to handle.

Thanks for facilitating that walk down memory lane...

Edited for clarity and formatting

[–]Nodeal_reddit4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I want to hear the story about the really fat chick. Why did you go through with it with her?

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think I did it just because I was on a roll (no fat-shaming pun intended). I knew she was large from the CL ad. She actually posted her ass (in as flattering of an angle as possible) and then wondered why she got so many dic pic replies. facepalm

Anyway, I met her for coffee first, and I almost turned and ran (she had a massive "fanny pouch"). But fat chicks have learned to adapt to the game by having really great personalities, which I fell for. Within 10 minutes of small talk we were whispering our fantasies to each other, then she sucked me off. Sex is sex, I thought, and met up with her again to actually fuck. She bought me a giant bag of candy too, was really sweet and doting without being suffocating... I'm not saying it was nice, but I was treated like a king (I know, I know, but she was huge... Hindsight is 20/20). This isn't me, but pretty damn close.

I now have internalized that my SMV is worth so much more than that, so that will never be on the table again. Hell, I'm over all the other women too, even the hot college student. Like another commenter said here, it would have to be the perfect shaped woman in the perfect situation if I were to do it again.

[–]phoenix_mdMarried Man -MRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Somehow I feel like I just watched a movie by reading your post. Thank you for sharing the ups and downs of your experience, I know I benefitted from it.

With my new confidence and dominance after swallowing the pill, married life, career, and pretty much every aspect of life it going awesome. Maybe even too easily, which makes me fear I'm headed for a midlife crisis since I have no major challenges before me.

[–]Redneck001MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm headed for a midlife crisis

Get a fast boat and a jacked up pickup truck. Crisis averted.

[–]phoenix_mdMarried Man -MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I should go the toys route. Much cheaper and less destructive than an affair. Thanks bro

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Good to hear someone benefited.

I had a question the other day that lines up with your concern: what happens when I'm 50-60, successful, have achieved the ideal RP marriage (lets say), and have no major life accomplishments to look forward to? What's the end game then? Sit around and watch my grandchildren? I'm 27 now, and sure it seems like a long way off, but I'm sort of nervous about getting there. The whole reason TRP is so rewarding is because there's still milestones to accomplish. It sounds like you're dealing with this right now, in a way. Any thoughts?

[–]phoenix_mdMarried Man -MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I just hit the peak of my career and make more money than I could ever reasonable spend. I have a big family, beautiful wife, and now thanks to TRP have all the sex and repect/admiration I ever hoped for.

This is peak time for a guy to screw it all up with an affair. Wish there wasn't this daily biological alpha impulse to go out and use my money and prestige to take all the beautiful women I desire. If someone else has an answer out there I'd love to here it.

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wish there wasn't this daily biological alpha impulse to go out and use my money and prestige to take all the beautiful women I desire.

Ironic, isn't it? You conquer your wife, meaning you get to have all the sex, submission, admiration, and respect you could want, only to get bored because there's no more thrill of the chase. I want to avoid this.

Maybe that's something you could create a new post about. I'd be very curious to hear other opinions (although I doubt many on this particular sub could give a thorough answer based on experience, or even solid theory).

[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd like to hear from /u/spacelord777 too.

[–]alpha_n3rdMarried[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Therapeutic time!!!!

Fun post but me thinks you gonna have to live the experience to truly know the answers to your own questions. If you do then please PM me as I'm keen to hear

My affair, transformation to RP, and marriage improvements are likely middle innings:

My marriage sucked pre red pill. Was always on eggshells to keep wife from being upset. I was fat and wore old clothes. Did way too much around house. Had sex twice a month. And...Wife likely cheated few years back. Can prove the emotional affair with one guy. Found suspicious visit or two to old bf town that was concealed. I spent a month keyloging and going through old bills and texts and emails trying to get a true picture.

I never found a smoking gun but I had enough to know. AWALT. I woulda brushed this off in former dayz

I wasn't sure what to do but knew I needed to go slow. Knew a sexy woman who was bored by her needy husband but I had been holding back. I found RP at this time. To this day I can't tell you my end game bro....Wife knows I am on to her lies but only because she found out I paternity tested kids (mine whew). Calmly told her I knew everything. When she tried to cry and explain etc...I walked away. Left her in a position where I am the decider. She will live with my decisions and my life is gonna be swell either way.

Never yelled. Never asked questions. I had months lead time on this knowledge. She had nothing to work with..can't gas light me. And the fact that I'm so cold and so unaffected is killing her....with desire. She has been on her best behavior since and my true fuck doll.

I have her on a medium course of dread forever more.

Men on the main sub sorted me out when I was really in pain. Now I am fine. Not angry. I truly get it and my ego is minimized as much as I can.

You have no idea how your ego is your own worst enemy

Here are the answers to your questions

Cheated because marriage was sliding due to me being a genuine bp phaggot. Got to point when I didn't care anymore and a really sexy neighbor was DTF. I found RP at exact same time as this began so it's been very interesting as this woman only knows theultmatecad as aware.

She is local. Kids friends mom. Been pretty easy to keep it hidden. She has just as much to lose as me. I don't really feel anything about it. I think I have been so wrapped up with getting my shit together that I leave the feels to everyone else in my life.

I've enjoyed the justification to be stoic that red pill allows. Wife doesn't know and sex got much better but there are many reasons why this could have happened. It's been a great ride and is still going. GF woulda left family for me but now she senses I'm not gonna "be there" for any woman, ever again. I am her true AF

You have no idea what AF can get away with...

[–]alpha_n3rdMarried[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for answering, sorry about the downvotes, fucking SJWs must have gotten in here.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No problem. Didn't see the downvoted but IDGAF.

It was helpful to me to memorialize those thoughts and at least you read and appreciated

[–]imspunkticusMarried1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's why cheating was such an important part of my RP transition:
1. It allowed me to remove my wife's power over sex by experiencing things I hadn't had in a decade.
2. It meant I could objectively assess my SMV and therefore led to OI.
I cheated, then shortly after I discovered TRP through r/deadbedrooms and r/adultery. I've been applying things I learned through TRP and from dominating my mistress (who, coincidentally, is the epitome of the trp understanding of women).
Wife still doesn't know and I won't be telling her. But the improvement has been astounding. Regular sex, bjs, got her wimpering for more. In the past it was monthly missionary bad sex no oral for ten years. She was the kind of woman who 'just doesn't think about sex at all'.
I think TRP alone would have got me here, but it might have taken longer.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Never have cheated, BUT I'd like to think if a hot, early 20's, thin, big tits and ass, wanted to fuck me I'd probably do it. My wife is a medium to "bigger" girl; she's not an overweight whale but not a Kate Upton. She kinda like plus size models just without the height.

That being said, I've never fucked anything beside women like my wife. This is due to beta days and that's all I could fucking get. Like a said, if a completely opposite girl wanted a good fuck, I'd probably do it.

[–]Fentrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

1) The first time I did what I considered cheating, it was a pretty complicated story that, of course, involves a woman. She and I had been going out a long time.I was open poly with 4 gfs and she was open poly with 2 bfs, we got together and clicked big. Then there was a time when I needed to focus more on my life and she got another man. This other man hated me and the other two bfs (well, this is what she said, I don't really trust anything she said now), and worked to push me and them out. So eventually I got get up and went to next her but ended up getting back together with her a week later. Well she said that her other guy just would not accept me being back in her life so we had to cheat and lie to him. Now I've been with women with husbands before (this one actually had a husband) but this was very very different. She was very active in her relationship with this other guy and with me. But here's the thing, she wasn't comfortable with me having all the power in the relationship so I basically set up this "mutualy assured destruction" clause where I didn't tell my main plate (this woman was not my main) that I was back together again. It's the first and only time I've ever hidden something like that from my main. Honestly, it's mostly never worth it.

2) to be fully honest, while a lot of RP resonates true with me, a lot of it is just cearly wrong and doesn't match up with my experiences. I'm not sure I will ever fully swallow it, but I see how it is helpful to an AFC. On average, redpill has some useful things because more people are submissive. I see this all the time as a dom. I go to a D/s function and it's 3:1 sub to dom ratio, and all the subs stand around looking pathetic hoping a dom picks them. So since that is true of most people, when you apply the male dom:woman sub, dynamic, it will work often. I also know women it will never work with and all you will get is a damn mess. Still, plenty of fish in the sea so whatever. Point is all this shit was before I started even researching this stuff, but I had come to a lot of the same conclusions and many counterconclusions.

3) internet

4) my main plate and I have this kind of "don't ask, don't tell" policy. She honestly thought I was off with another woman. Main plate and this one didn't get along but tolerated each other.

5) It's really annoying.

6) It was really annoying.

7) I told main plate about it after I went nuclear on our relationship, but nothing much happened except a few "I told you so"s

8) No effect. She probably expects this kind of shit from me.

9) Never say never. I wouldn't plan on it. It's also easier just to maintain your need for other relationships. There were weird extenuating circumstances here.

10) Neutral, slightly negative because it is a little more challenging than open poly.

[–]TekkomanKingz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This shouldn't be about sex. Men only value Women who they give commitment.

[–]wolfhawk706-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link


You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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