It’s painfully obvious that gender relations are in peril these days. It’s a cultural problem that is getting worse. The solution is a grassroots solution executed on the individual level. The more alike men and women are, the more we lose our gender identities and the more we don't play well together.
It's a simple concept really. Be the man. Let her be the woman. As Rian Stone says, "don't get in your own way. Don't step on your own dick." The road to execution of this simple concept is not always clear though. It's muddled by external conditioning of today. "Plugged in" men don't even know the road is there.
I play the drums in a hobbyist band, and one of the most important elements when creating a solid groove is the contrast between sounds; the loud and soft, the bass and the snare. The loud and even the silence. The space between the notes means just as much as the punch of the bass drum or the cracking backbeat of the snare. It's that complimenting dichotomy of these sounds that allows the instrument to drive a song or play a catchy solo on it's own. One of my favorite drummers, John Bonham of Led Zeppelin, was a master at this. Critics would always say his use of space was like no other, which he used to great effect. Listen to the groove in “When the Levee Breaks” or “Good Times Bad Times” as a few examples. It is this dichotomy and space that makes a good groove worth listening to.
Just as the masculine is lacking without the feminine, the feminine doesn't have an identity without the masculine. This is the core of intersexual dynamics. The more alike men and women are, the more we lose our gender identities and the more we don't play well together.
This is the problem with modern Feminism, it seeks to strip men and women of our designed gender roles. Roles that have been programmed into us by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. When I refer to Feminism, I'm not referring to the core "Civil Rights Feminism" of the late 1800s and early 1900s; The right to vote, the right to work and be paid the same as a man for the same work. Those were reasonable goals and have long since been achieved but Feminism presses on in a counterproductive, loud march, seeking some elusive status of "equality" that also seems bent on stripping men of any authority, destroying marriage and destroying the family and motherhood in the process.
Feminism of today seeks to make women more like men and turn men into more feminine versions of themselves. The result is a loss of arousal, increased conflict and the creation of men and women trying to occupy the same "space." Going back to the drum analogy, when two similar tones or audio signatures exist at the same place in time, it muddles the sound. Don't muddle the sound of your marriage or your LTR.
Be that contrast. The more you fulfill your masculine role (and that will be different for every man), the easier you make it for her to fill her feminine role. Dress like a man; pay attention to fit and cut. Pay attention to colors. There are plenty of guides and consultants in the Manosphere with good examples (Tanner Guzy, AlphaM are just a few you should check out if you're struggling in this realm).
It's ok to not be "vulnerable" and sensitive. It's ok to show emotion but make it count and don't emote like a woman. If you do, you're essentially "occupying the same acoustic space" as your wife, and over time she'll resent you for it. Don't steal her emotional thunder and she won't steal your masculine energy. If she's upset about something, then listen. Parrot back some acknowledging words, condemn the villain (or congratulate her success) in the story. Give her a hug and then go chop wood, work on your car, lift weights or something that sets you apart from her.
To bring it back to my drum analogy, many of John Bonham's fans said the notes he DIDN'T play were almost more compelling than those he did. Remember, women talk, men do. Don't be flapping your jaw every time some thought, feeling or annoyance pops into your head. Women do that. Don't steal her acoustic space. Make your words and opinions few but powerful. Leave some mystery to your thoughts, it's sexy, it's masculine, it allows her to be feminine.
Feed off of her feminine energy. Compliment your wife or LTR when she gets dolled up, wears makeup, puts on the sexy shoes. She's embracing her feminine energy. If she's emoting and looking for your attention and she's been a good compliment to your life that week, then give her that attention (DL4). This is how women communicate and how they seek attention and closeness. Don't deny her that, it's equivalent to her denying sex to you.Now, don't give your attention away for free if she's not holding up her end of the relationship (which is her responsibility BTW) but don't miss opportunities to feed off and reward feminine energy.
Create the contrast. Have a Mission. Have a drive, a purpose, a mission. This doesn't have to be some lofty career goal like running for political office or being a CEO. It could be a hobby you want to immerse yourself in, it could be a fitness goal, it could be a financial goal. Give your wife some framework, which you created, for her to work in and around. Maybe your hobby is just for you... great. Be gone more. It builds that tension and that complimentary dichotomy between you and her. And most importantly, you're not there, so you can't be talking too much and stepping on your own dick.
It's ok to display masculine power and strength. Hell, it's encouraged if you are serious about creating that polarity and contrast. Lift weights. Aesthetic results will not come quickly or easily, but nothing that matters ever does. What does come rushing into your body and brain almost immediately from lifting weights is the feeling of accomplishment, discomfort, endorphins and motivation. The effects of weightlifting will begin to change your attitude, your posture and you're assertiveness almost overnight. The physical gains come later.
Show her. Pick your woman up occasionally; for fun, for connection, just because. Trigger her biological programming which responds to things like that. Open the pickle jar when she can't, fix something around the house. There is ZERO excuse these days for any man to not be able to change a car tire, fix minor plumbing issues, replace appliance components or a light fixture. Youtube makes this so easy.
Create that contrast, be the man, and she will respond in kind with feminine energy. It may take months or even years for some, but you'll be a better, more capable man either way.I remember a time when I encouraged my wife to not wear makeup, to not dress up like a real woman. This was partly because I do find her attractive "as is" but it was also because I was " plugged in" as a blue-pill beta. Even as I said stuff like that, my subconscious screamed at me that something wasn't right. I didn't listen... for years. That's how powerful the blue- pill conditioning is. Now I show and tell her when she looks sexy. I reward it. Because I appreciate it.
Ignore the radical feminists and their "allies." Embrace masculinity... be the masculine so she can be the feminine.