The Elements of Frame 0 - Introduction

April 20, 2015

Frame is the most important concept for TRP self-improvement. However, the concept is not defined very well in TRP. Everyone "knows" what it is, but when pressed, everyone says a slightly different definition of an incomplete definition. When I came here, it seemed like it was something that you only know when you got it, as a weird spiritual enlightenment. It is not weird or occult. But, I haven't found any good attempts at demystifying it. Because of this, it is very difficult as a beginner to understand how to maintain frame. Most of the posts in this subreddit are simply men struggling with this, as they don't understand what is weak about their frame and how to improve it. There is very little written about this. I think this is a big conceptual hole in TRP and MRP.

In this series, I’m going caveman on that big hole to fill it up. Based on my own transition, I propose a structure of the Elements of Frame. This is the first in a series of posts on this subject. Even if you disagree with my proposed structure and its elements, I hope that this will lead to fruitful discussions in the community. I'm writing this not because I want to wank about it, or because I think I know what it is, but because some have suggested that my way of talking about frame helped them work on their frames. Developing your way of understanding your frame is the most important tool to help you detect weaknesses in your own frame. It will help you feel more confident, improve sex, be happier and lead in your marriage.

In this introduction, I’ll discuss the basic elements of Frame. The point of this post is to define the main concepts and their relationships so I can expand on them in future posts.

Frame is a tetrahedron.

If you like, think of it as a tripod instead, it is the same. The three points where the tripod touches the ground are the Intellectual, the Emotional and the Physical basis of Frame. Each must be strongly grounded for the Frame to be balanced, strong and stable. If one isn’t good, the Frame collapses to that side. I define each of these basis as:

  • Intellectual Basis - It is having the knowledge, the know-how, and the logical means to get what you want. An example of this is simply the logical understanding of the women’s cycle, being aware of it, and understanding how that affects your sex life. There are a lot of other examples, and I will discuss them in a future post, but they all make sense in the logical part of your brain. This subreddit, the guides and the books in the sidebar are simply a resource to help you make this basis strong, nothing more nor less.

  • Emotional Basis - It is understanding your emotions such that you can use them to get what you want. An example of a strong emotional basis is not acting butthurt during a shit test. Having a strong emotional basis means that you understand and accept your emotions, and know how to properly display them to get what you want. Your own inner work to really understand and accept your emotion is the source of having a strong basis. Emotions are the way women understand their relationship to you (they don't see you, they only see how you make them feel). This is a very powerful component in your marriage. I will discuss this in much more detail in the future, including resources for improving this.

  • Physical Basis - This is having the physical tools to get what you want. The quintessential example is lifting heavy weights. There is a lot said already about lifting, but my definition goes beyond this. Other areas of this basis, including posture, voice, grooming, diet and your own sexuality, all which affect the way your wife sees you. I will discuss these in a future post. This area is underscored for beginners because it is the easiest one to improve in a systematic way. It is hard to measure how you are improving on your emotional or intellectual basis, but it is very easy to know if you are lifting more, or if your posture is better. You can just see it in the mirror. So if you don't know what to do, instead of crossing your arms feeling helpless, work on this area.

You have to work on all these areas in your self improvement. Depending on your specific needs, you might need even more work in one area than in another. But if you ignore one, your frame will weaken and will topple. This subreddit only can help you with the intellectual basis of your frame. The rest is work you must do on your own, not here. This is why this is a path for yourself, by yourself. You won't have frame only from reading here.

So far, I talked about the basis of the tripod, but I haven’t mentioned the cusp of it. The tip of the tripod is the frame element of “Vision”.

  • Vision - It is the strength to see everything in the world and your interactions with it clearly. From this, you can see clearly what is that you want in your life. You have the clarity to work hard on what you control, and you plot a path to obtain your goals regardless of what you don’t control. From your vision, you can be economical with your resources, and you don’t get dragged into crap that doesn’t add to your vision. And if someone tries to fuck with you, you can clearly see how it doesn’t add value, and you just ignore the shit and move on. Concepts that are part of this vision are, Outcome Independence, Leadership, and clear goals of self improvement. When you have a strong vision of what you want in your relationship, you become an Oak that makes your wife trust you and look for safety and strength in you. Your vision also allows you to self reflect on the basis, and helps you tweak things to always make it stronger.

When you have a strong Intellectual, Emotional and Physical basis, and they come together in a way that they support each other, you have a strong Vision. This, like the tripod, is a very strong and stable structure. This is Frame. Frame is understanding the world and yourself in it so you work hard to get what you want. It is reframing the whole universe to where you are the unstoppable force that will get what you want. It includes accepting the universe and people in it for what it is, but also, owning your shit and constantly changing yourself to be better. It is changing your perception from a victim to the hero of your story. It is the most personal thing you can have because this is the way you define your whole life. This is what inspires leadership in your marriage. As I flesh out the structure, I hope I can make define Frame in a more concrete way.

As you start in your transition, you struggle to “maintain frame”. This is because some of the tripod legs are on a very weak basis, or poorly positioned. It will take time and hard work to get them to a strong basis. It takes a lot of self reflecting and owning your shit to understand your weaknesses in the frame and plan to improve them. However, once you have a good basis, you will see how the three legs of the frame come together very nicely, supporting each other. This is the “Aha” moment of the TRP transition. From here on, instead of you struggling to maintain frame, you can rely on your frame instead to feel strong. It is when you have reached this point that you really have frame.

In future posts I will expand on each element of the basis. Later in the series I will discuss how the elements come together, and how an uneven frame sometimes makes one weak base element affect the other basis. I will also explain how different strong basis elements come together as part of familiar TRP concepts. I will try my best to put in this structure a lot of TRP concepts. I plan to even discuss the different ways women test these elements of frame, and from this, as you have a strong frame, the specifics of the details of what they are testing become less important, so if women push/pull one area, it is unmoved because all the parts in the structure support each other. Thinking this way has helped me a lot simplify how to pass shit tests, how to feel better about myself, and how to worry less about the stupid stuff. The results are a better marriage.

This will be a long series of theory posts, as it will take me a while to complete the picture. However, since Frame is so essential, I'm going to tackle this topic. I understand that right now this all seems very abstract and incomplete, because this is simply the introduction. I hope that as I add more parts of the structure, the series will become valuable to the community.

This series continues here.

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