"What do you want?" A wise man wrote about this not too long ago. If you could ask a genie to mold your life into anything, what would you ask for? And it might be simpler to break the question into two parts: 1) What do you want? and 2) What do you NOT want?

But let's take it one step deeper: Why do you want and why do you not want? If you think about what you like to do, whether you're a soccer player, a mountain climber, a chess player, or an opera singer; I'd wager a large bet that you are those things (now) because you are good at being those things. I enjoy rock climbing, keeping in shape, and cooking. I do not like basketball, playing instruments, and thermal physics. Not coincidentally, I'm good at all the things I enjoy, and suck at all the things I do not like. So naturally, when I'm out there rock climbing, I get positive feelings from it. Those positive feelings make me want to do it more. And respectively the negative feelings coming from the things I do not like make we want to stay away from doing them.

But what about things that I'm not sure about. What about the things I haven't tried enough, or do not know enough about, to know I'm good or bad at them? Why would I pick up one to pursue, or avoid at all costs? The answer lies in the ability to recognize the potential joy of mastering such a thing. "If I could just...." is a reflection on the potential happiness one would enjoy if they were able to succeed at being good at something. And so they set off to pursue it. But as with the theme of this dichotomy being discussed, there is also a recognition of the potential embarrassment, fear, failure, or effort one would feel at the prospect of pursuing something. These two potentials, as it happens, are in a constant battle against one another in your head. But there is more to the entire 'you' than simply which side is currently winning.

 

The other major factor that makes up who 'you' are is your personality. And as we'll see below it's easy to confuse this for the above. Your personality is much more solid than the constantly shifting wants and not wants based on emotion. I will define your personality here as what you would be if you were given the genie to get what you want. And there are some things that even if given the power to succeed in, I would not want. I do not care about the ability to knit. I have no interest in fast cars. And the ability to sing well enough to be recognized is not on my list of things I want. I'm not good at it, but my adversity to it doesn't come from this fact.

 

The point of this is that it is often very easy to confuse someone else's or even your own personality with their/your wants and not wants. Take for example the case of men and pursuing a goal. Recent posts, and even in my own experience, I have felt and seen men sometimes very quickly shift from pursuing some goal, to no longer feeling any drive to pursue that goal. Accompanying this is often a variety of reasons including: "It's not worth my time." "I don't want that in my life." "I'm not that kind of person." or "I'd feel so much better doing X instead." But even before starting out on a certain goal, a lot of "men" I've talked to about things like losing weight, dressing up, or talking to women all say the same kind of thing: "I don't want that/don't need that." But when asked: "If I could snap my fingers and make it so, would you ask me to?" Of course the reply is: "Yes." And so it's not a matter of their personality being "I don't want that", it's simply the fact that they are afraid, and the hamster is convincing them not to pursue that goal because (insert negative feelings here).

In such cases it may be beneficial, especially if this feeling is coming while pursuing the goal, to find a quiet place and introspect on whether these hamster musings reasons on why to quit are suddenly surfacing. In many cases, it may be found that what's really going on is that furry little guy in your head is simply still covertly whispering in your ear. When tasks get difficult, negative feelings are stimulated in the brain. The brain has a natural aversion to these negative feelings, and thus will attempt to "protect" you by whispering that you don't need to do that thing that causes negative feelings. Life will go on without accomplishing that thing. And because the positive reinforcing feelings, which are just as much if not more satisfying that the negative feeling come only after we've accomplished what we want, the dominance of negative feelings are quite effective in winning this arguement.

So when the pill is disolving and you suddenly think, "I hate my wife, she doesn't bring me any joy, (numerous other paragraphs of reasons here to convince you)", reflect: Are you just scared of the work? Because it seems like if you're constantly improving your life, then separation from the wife will feel more like a gradual move toward an end; rather than a sudden, a-ha moment that ditching her will make everything better. If you were given a genie, what would you want? Are you coming to this conclusion to protect yourself? Or are you coming to it trying to pursue a better life? Because the former comes from the hamster, and the latter from the pill.

 

The married red pill, as JDRoedell put it the other day, can simply be renamed with "any other condition that challenges a man and his frame." That challenge most often comes from a man trying to achieve what he wants, and learning the tools necessary to achieve this. Funnily enough, a lot of these tools are simply psychological. They are the tools that allow a man to understand the challenge they are facing, the obstacles most often faced, and the mindset necessary to reach the goal. But it's been said before: "The red pill is a praxeology" And as such it is not limited to marriage or relationships or even what a man wants. The red pill IS the want and the pursuit. And so it can be used in a sense to understand why other men, or even women do what they do.

 

There have been discussions in the past about how a woman's brain is very good at rewriting the past. But why does this happen? Surely it's not just a spontaneous change where women simply change their personality at the drop of a hat. Instead, if we look at it from the perspective of a woman "suddenly" being reuplsed by a long-time partner: The news is broken, she doesn't want to be with you anymore. But the beta male keeps pursuing. He believes that the mere personal want for the relationship to continue should, by way of emotional diffusion, spread to her mind. In essence: "My love for you is so great, that you must somehow feel and love me back as a result of this." But this is a different matter of the beta's ignorance that the world, and other people, operate the way they want, and not how he wants. The issue for her is that she knows she wants...something other then her beta. But I reject the idea that it's because her personality has suddenly changed into a vile bitch. On the contrary, the want (to not be with you) is in conflict with her very real empathy for what she's doing. She's upset and crying that she's breaking up with you? Her personality hasn't changed, she wasn't always evil, she's not evil now. But the fact of the matter is that in this instance, what she wants (not you) and what she doesn't want (you) are both in alignment. That is why she'll hamster out of talking to you on video chat because she "feels too guilty and cannot bare to talk to you anymore." (negative feelings) But in the same sense, if you fly over to her to profess your love she will, as A_Rex puts it "Jesus, I can't believe I ever fucked this goober." (Potential for a better mate in the future).

 

Practically speaking, I think it is retarded to have this feeling to want to be something or do something, but to have a mechanism in the brain that prevents it. Evolutionarily, it has been explained in The Way of Men, Mystery Method, among others. Evolutionarily again, these mechanisms' purpose are simply to keep you alive long enough to reproduce. But practically speaking again, we need to recognize that most things we hamster about today are not threats to our lives. And understanding how our hamster stifles our pursuit and what signs to look out for are critical to keeping on track. Never let the pursuit fall to the fear.