Covert Contract: I will do this for you so you will do something for me. We will both act as if we have no awareness of this contract.
Nice Guys try to appear needless and wantless. They focus on meeting everyone else's needs while neglecting their own. They're always available when a friend needs a favor or a boss asks them to work late while simultaneously neglecting their needs at home. This ensures that their own needs are never met. They make a covert contract such as "I'm a nice guy and I work hard. My wife should give me sex."
Why nice guys "faggots" create covert contracts in the first place
The reason nice guys create covert contracts is to create distance between themselves and others in a way that ensures their needs are never met. Deep down they believe they are not worthy of love or sex or meaningful friendships and so they self sabotage in an elaborate act of self deception.
Deep down you believe you are worthless. Even as you start to take care of yourself you will sabotage your own efforts. Your subconscious works in the shadows and diligently fucks your shit up. Your own brain is saying:
- You started lifting? Well, you need extra calories! Eat a ton and call it "bulking".
- You're cutting? You should stop lifting since that will increase your calorie needs. Also cut out the protein. That's just extra calories.
- You found an attractive girl that actually likes you? Tell her she's fat so she'll stop having sex with you.
- You're hanging out with a group of guys? Better show them how much of an intellectual you are so they'll like you. Talk about how much money you have too. And how much you can lift.
How to overcome the faggot mindset
Deliberately do good things for yourself. When you do nice things for yourself you imply that you are worth something. Make a list of possible things to do
- Lift
- Track your food
- Avoid junk food
- Buy nice clothes and cologne
- Pay to have your car detailed
- Take a day off work just for yourself
- Be assertive and express what you want
Do these things without sabotaging your efforts. When you're a recovering nice guy you're dealing with cognitive dissonance by simultaneously trying to get your needs met while also believing you have no value. You must get to a point where you know you have value without any external attachments. You're not valuable because of your accomplishments, income, looks, status, a pretty wife. You're valuable because you value yourself. This is the foundation of your Frame: "I have value."
When you are able to start from a place of value you can work effectively to meet your own needs. You stop with the covert contracts because you actually want to meet your needs and you do the work necessary to ensure that happens. When you are solid in your own Frame with an internal "knowing" of your intrinsic value, then and only then can you begin to lead and help others.
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