Once again the purpose of one of my posts is to caution men to take these changes SLOOOOWLY. There is no hurry. Don't throw it all on the fire at once so that it explodes! Move slowly enough so there is not explosion.

The bottom line is that by following the MRP program, you are making a commitment to "Alpha Up." That is, our goal is to become more "Alpha." That is, our goal is to become a more attractive man. The problem is that we often focus on the sexual side of the equation to the loss of the rest of the relationship.

Yes, it is true that becoming a cave man muscular guy who doesn't take shit from anybody, and is in control of every situation is extremely attractive to women. It is also true that to a certain extent, "Beta" behaviors are counterproductive to the goal of sexual attraction.

That is, being the sweet, caring, considerate, thoughtful, reliable little pussy begger is counterproductive to the goal of increasing sexual attraction and interest.

However.....

If you sprinkle on the Alpha and cut off the Beta we are getting many old and new reports of a poor result and a poor outcome. We have long realized that you cannot just sprinkle some Alpha on it and make the meat taste good.

However, it appears that when you sprinkle on the Alpha AND at the same time suddenly stop being the Beta emotional tampon you were before, then you have suddenly removed the entire reason for her staying married to you. News flash: This is NOT going to make your marriage better.

Add a little "anger stage" into the mix and we have the makings of the cluster fuck described in many stories.

Let me help out especially you "Alpha" guys who are natural assholes. If you are going to sprinkle on some "Alpha" by, for example lifting, doing guy stuff, responding to shit tests, leading etc then it is NOT a good idea to also remove all the "Beta" for example listening to her, expressing emotional connection blah blah.

When we say go slow, we really, really mean it. Don't go Red Pill Rambo. Don't start to challenge your woman, especially in public. Don't remove YOU and your emotional connection to your wife (aka "Beta") at least not completely.

Do cut back on the Beta and increase the Alpha. Do become SLIGHTLY more aloof, confident, and busy. Do make an effort to pass Shit test AND COMFORT TESTS.

Now for the cute animal story brought to you by MRP APPROVED contributor: /u/druganswer (with some minor editing and clarifications).

When I say "play the nice card" I don't mean bend over backwards for her.

For Example: She wants you to go to a play with her, but you have prior commitments to whatever.

Her: Why won't you go to this with me? You never do anything with me.

You: I would love to hun, but I have blah blah blah that night.

Her: That's so like you! You are such an asshole! You only think about yourself!

You: Okay sweetheart.

Her: I don't even want to be around you right now!

You: I understand, I will talk to you later. Go out and do something with your friends/gym/whatever

Her: giving you the silent treatment

You (hours later): Completely different subject as if nothing happened and keeping your "nice card" demeanor Rinse and repeat as necessary. If she tries to have a more adult conversation with you about it, just broken record that you already had plans and you told her that. Even though she is calling you an asshole repeatedly you can say "I see this is important to you, let's look at our schedules and see if there is something that works for both of us in the future."

Do the same thing with brutal sexual rejection. Attack her frame with your frame of being a happy guy who gets along with his wife no matter the circumstance.

You are not pulling your time and attention as a "punishment" or based on how you feel about her actions.

For newer guys until you have read all the sidebar and have been lifting for a minimum of 6 months, the only time and attention pulling you are doing here is getting yourself busier. This is part of your long term goal anyway) and when she basically tells you that she is sick of your shit and doesn't want to be around you guess what? You have a place to go so...no big deal!!!

Draw her into that frame....it is not big deal. See you sweetie.

If you're thinking "This is standard MRP stuff dude," then go the head of the class because there is a perception that MRP is about becoming the asshole Alpha who DNGAF! That's what we say ALL THE DAMN TIME.

What is often left unspoken is that YOU ALMOST ALWAYS NEED SOME BETA IN A MARRIAGE IF YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT WORK So this is MRP stuff and hopefully you get it. If not, keep studying, you will get it sooner or later.

The problem is that some of the advice to new guys is "tell your wife she's being a bitch!" and "Don't hang out with her if she isn't putting out!" and it causes all sorts of fuck ups. So the new guy is getting his shit in order somewhat, but absolutely creating the bumpiest road possible while he still very much does not have his shit together. He's gone to the gym for a month straight, but now he just decided to skip his wife's birthday like that's not going to blow up in his face.

Trial by fire is definitely a thing. And it's those confrontations that will make him more comfortable with things in the future, I get that. However, I am really adamant that 6 months of rock solid "nice card" frame (while doing whatever you want behind the scenes) would benefit most of the guys just starting out.

The major problem I see with the new guys is them thinking they have to assert their dominance or protect their ego or something. I'm not sure exactly what to call it, but I see the above hypothetical situation ALWAYS ending as the woman screaming that he is an asshole and him either deciding "he will not accept this tone!" and calling her a bitch or trying to out silent treatment her. In case you were wondering, THAT IS NOT THE GOAL OF MRP.

there's definitely a time for telling your wife she's being a bitch, but it's probably when you have your own emotions in check and you aren't going to rattle off a laundry list of shit you hate about her and end with both of you not speaking for a week. And there is a time to ghost your wife, but it's probably not when she doesn't see your time and attention as anything worth a shit.

If you try to do too much too soon you're going to end up with a wife that has just proven to herself how much of an asshole you are or is happy with your newfound absence. Even if that doesn't happen, you risk turning her into a crazy mess when you start "punishing" her for every boundary that you used to let her walk all over you on. So even in a lot of the best outcomes of this overdoing it at the start she ends up neurotic and walking on eggshells around you because the guy who used to cry to her begging for her attention turned into the guy screaming at her that she is a terrible wife and he won't put up with this shit any longer, of course in between stints of trying to "remain OI and DGAF."

So that's why I suggest saying "For 6 months I'm not going to punish her, take anything out on her, or do anything for her in hopes of her doing something for me in return. No matter how shitty she treats me I will respond with kindness, but I will also get my shit together and start doing things for me."

bpp note: At LEVEL 4 DREAD I SUGGEST THAT YOU "BEGIN CONDITIONING YOUR AVAILABILITY TO HER WITH HER SEXUAL AVAILABILITY TO YOU This means at 4-5 months you can BEGIN CONDITIONING. Not jump from 0 -500 suddenly. Begin! At 4-5 months. Not before. /u/druganser is exactly right saying 6 months before you really stop playing your nice card. Before that, play your "nice card basically all or most of the time."

I have stolen his anectodote and quote it verbatim- well worth the read guys because it explains so much:

Growing up we had a cat. Really nice cat, but definitely an "only cat" and it was very cat like in that it had times where it completely wanted to be alone and would get annoyed at you if you tried to pick it up or pet it. Now... we ended up finding this other little kitten and wanted to give it a home.

This kitten had the most solid frame of any living being I have ever seen. It wasn't afraid of anyone... people, other cats, anything. It basically thought it was the shit.

Old cat HATED IT. Swiped the shit out of it anytime it got near, hissed at it if it was even in the same room, would go out of its way to avoid the kitten. What did the kitten do? Didn't even notice. Tried to play every day. Would turn the angry swats of the old cat into a game. This lasted for at least a month. We were pretty certain that we just had two cats that would never get along. But the kitten was so resilient and had a frame of "hey best friend" that was so strong the old cat eventually gave in.

I'm looking at this in hindsight, but this was the most literal example I can think of that I have ever seen of something imposing its frame on something else. Everyday swatted at, everyday hissed at, and never did it think to hate the old cat... never once did it hiss back. Never once did it doubt that they were going to be friends and play together, even in the face of absolute resistance. They ended up getting along great for the rest of their lives. Would it have turned out like that if the little kitten had occasionally snapped and attacked the old cat? We can't know for sure, but I would say I doubt it.