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IASGame
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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
suggest that we
don't suggest we. I do me, and you do you. And I mean the latter in true winemoreplease fashion
[–]Boesman12 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
You are seeking validation from us to prove to yourself that you should divorce.
At the moment you are so much in her frame that you want to divorce because money...read anger... but you still want to fuck her aftetwards because comfort...read easier than facing rejection from someone new.
What would you answer someone elses weak ass post if you were to read this?
You started MRP because you wanted to save your relationship. Now it seems you don't want to do the work anymore and would rather divorce. But you don't want to divorce, you want to be unmarried. Want it like it was before you got married...
If you can honestly say that you have reached level 12 dread and you are done, then divorce her ass. But don't be sitting at level 2 and just be lazy.
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Certainly seeking advice from you guys. As for validation I was pretty sure I was going to get blasted, so not sure you got that correct.
With respect to your question, I would obviously just say "Get a divorce". I think this is clearly implied in my 3rd paragraph.
I think I'm not angry. The financial issue is a real logistical one, where I came to realize she wants different things than I do. The same goes for having kids (I don't want kids). I don't want to be an obstacle for her, and I don't want her to be an obstacle for me.
Remember I'm in an LDR, so I am not really fucking her now and I wouldn't be fucking her afterwards anyway. At most, what I am doing by proposing we stay in a relationship is a) a buffer so I don't hurt her (or my?) feelings as much or b) my curiosity in seeing her reaction to separating the legal benefits she gets from marriage from the rest of the relationship.
[–]Boesman12 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then why ask the question. You don't want her useless ass in your wallet anymore. Get it over and done with.
[–]UEMcGill[M] [score hidden] 8 years ago stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
This is a rambling mess, go back and fix it before it gets removed for being a validation seeking victim puke.
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go ahead and pull the trigger, my bad.
[–]massimoliani 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You'd run the fuck away from a woman who'd suggest divorcing for "financial reasons" but still sticking together.
Just take the divorce and move on to imagining your life will be banging 20's and enjoying yourself.
[–]MATES0L 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
this is a dumbest thing I have ever heard. You can't expect hamster to be "fine" with the divorce but continue everything else as normal. Frankly, it is beyond fantasyland to assume this is possible
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
2nd to last paragraph, I don't expect anything like that.
I'm kind of curious to see what the hamster would pull out to rationalize it though, because technically all that necessarily changes with the divorce is provisioning, but I don't see her openly admitting to the Beta Bucks dynamic.
[–]Magnum007 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
but I don't see her openly admitting to the Beta Bucks dynamic.
There is actually a bunch of "open hypergamy" out in culture already, a famous example is the Sandberg quote (i.e. by a woman) that Rollo often reminds us about in the Rational Male.
As for what I am doing, I've been making myself the Mental Point of Origin. Which is why I'm increasingly convinced I don't want to be providing for someone else, particularly someone who doesn't have enough value to me.
I don't care too much about the image she or others have of me, or about changing that image.
I have my own image of myself, the only risk is whether I'm self-delusional which is certainly a possibility.
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
In the long term my only game plan is to fix the problems with me and become attractive. A number of elements of this (shit tests, frame control, kino, other game) require a sparring partner or target. In a lot of cases I learn even better if my opponent is a dragon bitch who has no respect for me. If I bail before making this progress I'll just end up in the same situation witj the next one. I believe this is why the 12 stages of dread are a process that potentially ends with divorce. Where are you in terms of a timeline and stages of dread? If you've been doing this for 18 months, are closing 20 year olds with day game, don't have kids and are seeing few results, divorce might be something to look into.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Do you think you "need" to "close" with 20 year olds prior to divorce, or do you think that it should be, you know, OK for a man to take his nuts in hand, and decide "fuck this noise"
aka... I am all for making sure you have a safe landing, but "closing" does not need to happen before you pull the trigger.
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think that if has not spent time successfully cold approaching early 20s women and getting at least some number closes (I didn't mean fucking them but that probably wasn't clear), he has not become attractive enough to say that his wife is the problem.
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just for argument's sake, lets say he doesnt close in terms of numbers. Lets say he sucks at it. Lets say wife doesn't meet his criteria on X Y Z standard as well... would you advocate he stay and practice with her and practice day game with other women, or do you think that he can own his fucking choice, right or wrong, and set her loose?
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What I would advocate at that point would depend on his motivation for divorce which, strangely, he hasn't really explained in the post. If its some butthurt pussy bullshit I'd say he needs to get his head right, stop blaming his wife and do the work to become attractive. Actually I kind of assumed this was the case from the tone of the post. If he just found out one kid wasn't his, I'd say he should start putting his affairs in order to file as soon as possible. I think there is a point at which we own the mistake of choosing the wrong woman and rectify that choice, but only after we can say that the specific woman is the problem and many others wouldn't be.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
absolutely.
I think that specific women aren't the problem. Its not a black and white X number of closes or X number denials after X % improvement in the gym and work divided by Y years of betadom.
Its just sort of a feel, like GinaTingles
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ok I expected some criticism but I'm apparently clueless enough to not see how this is such a shitty post.
Let me link here to a previous relevant post: https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4104qd/my_context_and_what_is_the_interpretation_of_some/
I've been working on figuring out what I want and I think Jack10 had it correctly that this may not be a structurally compatible relationship any more (whether it ever was when it wasn't an LDR and she hadn't reached the conclusion that she wanted kids is a different question, but not a very useful one as it is in the past).
Is the problem here my "hedge" about going in with the divorce being just a financial separation?
[–]bogeyd6 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don't think the issue of divorce for financial reasons, everyone has their reasons.
You posted this as a one line per thought message.
It's not very well thought out.
The overall tone is you are crying cuz <reasons>
See what I did there. You need to formulate this into a well thought out post maybe in paragraph format using whatever writing style you like. I like your contributions to MRP, but banging something out quickly and hitting the save button is not acceptable. You might want to expand further on the financials and possibly what exactly the outcome is you are trying to succeed. As /u/UEMcGill as stated already. We will remove the post if you don't go up to the top and edit it into something worth reading. My advice, is just tell me to remove it and you spend some time rewriting it. Clock is ticking.
Ok go for it and remove it.
Thanks for explaining. It is clearer that I'm doing a bad job because people think I'm angry or crying, which I don't think I am.
I will think about it more and post something again when I'm ready.
[–]bogeyd6 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
K, hope that you do, because I look forward to reading this strategy.
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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Boesman12 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Boesman12 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UEMcGill[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]massimoliani 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MATES0L 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Magnum007 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cj_aubrey 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]bogeyd6 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IASGame[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bogeyd6 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link