Many guys start with an irrationally large degree of trust in women ... until they find the red pill. Any time spent on TRP or MRP and you'll be familiar with phrases like, AWALT, "she's not yours, it's just your turn," and branch swinging. Many people seem to know what these terms mean, but they don't understand what to do with that meaning. Why? Because (especially on TRP) the "don't trust women" card is played too much and without much explanation. Result? ...

  • The first group of guys will discover these things, exaggerate them beyond rational thought, and become incredibly controlling, believing that because they're aware of these behaviors, they can somehow stop a woman from exhibiting them. When their wives are then faithful for any appreciable length of time, they pat themselves on the back for a job well done, while she's secretly waiting for the right moment to dart.

  • The second will see these behaviors and become paranoid. They start snooping and spying, constantly on the lookout for whether she's cheating, if she's flirting with a co-worker, or disrespecting him to the kids when he's off at work. They hear "trust, but verify" and spend too much time on the "but verify" part, never letting go.

  • A third group will give up on women entirely, assuming there's no point in being with them if they're always going to prove untrustworthy.

  • A fourth group will take these concepts to be broad generalities and spend their entire lives looking for the unicorn that beats the mold.

  • A fifth will behave normally and rationally, but emotionally limit himself from fully enjoying his present circumstances for fear of what might happen in the future if/when she expresses these traits.

Unless you're on the brink of divorce and you know it, it really doesn't matter if you trust your wife or not. Blind trust will get you into trouble, and complete distrust works against you and isn't useful. You can figure out for yourself where in that blend you actually want to exist.

The point of these tidbits of RP lingo is not to convince you to distrust women. It is to get you to a point where you do not rely on your trust in women. That is, you'll be just fine even if she is behaving in an untrustworthy manner. Be mindful of the cautionary tales, but don't bend your entire life around them. If you do that, you're letting fear, caution, and distrust make your frame instead of you making it yourself.

  • Suspect your girlfriend is cheating on you? No biggie, you've got 3 other girls you've been priming who are all into you.

  • Wife is threatening divorce over something stupid, like not taking out the trash? Oh well. You've got amused mastery, so you recognize how childish she's acting and don't get wound up in her emotional hurricane.

  • She won't follow your lead? No worries, you've got a mission more important than her that you can spend your time on instead, and you'll spend your time with whoever happens to be working that same mission with you.

  • Wife actually divorces you for a younger millionaire? Sure, it sucks, but you'll bounce back on your feet in no time. Besides, you've been actively involved in raising the kids, prepared for this possibility, so you know you'll get equal rights and she can't use that against you.

"Don't do this" and "Don't do that" type of advice can only get you so far - including, "Don't trust women." Cautionary tales are great, but the end of the day, what you do matters more than what you don't do. Focus on that, being mindful of the "don't"s, not the other way around.