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Understanding the "Anger Phase"

August 6, 2020
58 upvotes

Recent events in the news remind us that anger often leads to violence, and nearly always precedes it. Among social animals, anger serves in part as a warning of impending hostility or violence, such as the anger of an Alpha male at a challenge or resistance to his dominance, or the seemingly sudden explosive anger of a Beta male pushed too far ... and the threat is often sufficient to alter others' behaviors to avoid violence.

Seen in this light, anger is a subconscious social strategy which threatens hostility to get something from another without having to take further action of your own.

This understanding sheds new light on certain behaviors of beta males, including the "anger phase" experienced by most new initiates to the married red pill.

The anger phase as strategy to avoid personal change

MRP reveals to frustrated beta males that

  • they could be getting much more out of their marriage or LTR,

  • their own failures are responsible, and

  • they must change themselves fundamentally to get what they want.

The first message is easy and desirable to swallow, but the last is difficult and painful to digest. When the subconscious mind accepts the first but still resists the latter, it reverts to the timeless strategy of anger as a last-ditch attempt to get the desired behavior from his wife/LTR without having to make the difficult changes in himself. This is why his anger is misdirected at his wife/LTR, instead of at himself where it belongs.

Why anger won't work

Use of anger as a threat of emnity or violence to coerce desired behavior from others sometimes works, which is why it's such an ingrained behavior in all of us. But the threat must be credible to be effective. It's not.

Domestic violence is prohibited and punished in modern societies, so the primal threat of direct violence is largely removed. Divorce law may reduce or remove the cost of withdrawal of financial support. Loss of a husband's goodwill likely means little to the women whose self-selected husbands find themselves here. Guys end up here because they have already lost so much value in their wives' eyes that they're not worth her investment of better behavior (sexual or otherwise), so the implicit threat of further withdrawal of support or divorce is hardly an inducement.

Guys are here because many earlier displays of anger such as butthurt, beta outbursts of rage, and passive-aggression have already failed. More anger won't accomplish anything beyond delaying their progress.

Increasing your value in the right ways is the only path to improving your relationship (or to a better LTR with someone else). But you're here because your beta mindset has for years resisted such changes, and has instead pursued failed BP strategies (including anger), and it's not giving up that easily. The anger phase is your inner beta's final attempt to double down on this failed strategy before fully accepting the hard RP truth.

Getting through the anger phase

The anger phase is a psychological strategy enacted by the subconscious, so it is very difficult to overcome by conscious thought or action. My hope is that through conscious understanding that its true cause is your incomplete acceptance of your full responsibility for your situation, and the necessity for difficult change in yourself to get the things you desire, you can

  • pass through it more quickly,

  • avoid further damage to your relationships in a hopeless attempt to get what you want without making difficult personal changes,

  • or at least consciously force yourself to get started sooner on those difficult but necessary personal changes your subconscious so desperately wants to avoid.

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Post Information
Title Understanding the "Anger Phase"
Author man_in_the_world
Upvotes 58
Comments 46
Date August 6, 2020 1:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/understanding-the-anger-phase.721755
https://theredarchive.com/post/721755
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/i4s3p8/understanding_the_anger_phase/
Comments

[–]EasyDaysHardNightsGrinding like Grandpa17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

anger is a subconscious social strategy which threatens hostility to get something from another without having to take further action of your own.

This line confuses Anger and what Ego does with Anger.

There is nothing wrong with Anger in and of itself. It is a normal and necessary part of our human existence and part of the process of swallowing the pill. The problem (we all agree) is when a man gets stuck in his Anger and it becomes a "Phase."

Anger is (as is every other emotion we experience) a subconscious signal to our conscious mind there is something to pay attention to, and in Anger's case ... something to be "overcome." That something is blocking our path toward progress.

Most guys wander in here depressed because their life is fucked up and they don't know why. That lack of clarity results in a subconscious self evaluation of being unfit for the task. What task? Getting unfucked.

They come here, read a few posts, start to get clarity and BAM ... their subconscious begins to see a path out of hell and UP regulates your energetic state to overcome the problem because there is a way to do it ... via Anger.

Ego responds to the new found energy that Anger provides and looks for a target, but since Ego is directed outward, it usually seeks out the Spouse, Parents, Society at large as /u/Tyred_Biggums mentions below. The easy targets and the ones our new found Beta recruits are USED TO targeting as a way to avoid having to change as you describe so well. It is also where, in my Opinion most MGTOW end up. "Fuck bitches and society, I'm doing my own thing."

It is certainly ONE place a man can get stuck.

As you also point out well, if a man processes the full set of knowledge here, the message delivered can't be divorced from the reality that if he wants to progress HE must change and there is no-one to do that other than him.

This is where it gets tricky. Because the Anger can turn inward as a man sees himself as the problem and an addiction to Anger can be developed as the drug of choice for up-regulating energy to tackle perceived problems. This is a SECOND place a man can get stuck.

In my opinion this is where Blackpill gets stuck at least partially. Their Anger wraps inward on their own physical insufficiency (e.g. lack of facial symmetry or a soft chin), but in some ways is still externalizing the problem as it's not fully separate from what I believe is a version of male solipsism in that men's broad focus on physicality for sexual attraction oversimplifies a women's desire for additional qualities, e.g. Frame.

Getting back to Anger though, because a man needs energy to refashion himself and there is no bottom to the well of areas to be improved a continual need for energy creates an ongoing draw toward some sort of emotional wellspring. But if not Anger, then what? With no Answer to that question, men get stuck in this second phase of Anger.

I believe what's energetically useful as a response, is found first in "mission." With a clear vision, and a plan where you know as /u/Tyred_Biggums said,

what the fuck you want (or DON'T want)

you feel Hope. Not Woo, fru fru, pansy ass I'm deluding myself hope. REAL "Hope." That there is a future and I can start moving myself toward it and it will be better. Once a man starts running in that direction a second emotion can kick in, Curiosity. The present emotional reward for discovering a new found possibility and wondering what else is possible. Not a delayed potential in the future, but a reality for right now in the moment which spurs one forward through self-development.

That self-development, if it's undertaken earnestly leads inevitably to another set of emotional rewards, self-satisfaction and confidence. The fact that you know what needs to be done and can be counted on to do it and reap the rewards that it brings. Ultimately, we can find ourselves in a place of Happiness. This is what I've found to be true for me anyway.

That emotional journey, beginning with Anger progressing to Hope, Curiosity, Confidence, and ultimately to Happiness ... is a possibility for any man who comes here.

Too many get stuck in the Anger phase because they get stuck at blaming others or themselves. But I'm not convinced Anger is a manipulative strategy to get what you want or avoid what you don't want. Ego does that all on its own. Anger is just a useful emotion to get the ball rolling. Useful as long as you don't park there.

What's the saying "There's no bad dog, just a bad owner?" Emotions are like dogs. It's the out of control owner (read Ego here) who's the real problem.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is truly excellent insight! Thank you for contributing this.

Emotions are like dogs. It's the out of control owner (read Ego here) who's the real problem.

Great analogy!

[–]Jordesu2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just want to say this one of the most insightful things describing the differences I’ve ever seen. I’ve often thought that black pills and MGTOW’s came from a place of anger but couldn’t really think how to articulate how.

[–]ContributionFinal0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is really a fascinating idea. After reading this, I realized that the times in my life where I had insane amounts of energy were times when I was curious about something... like finding something new and learning about it, or trying to some up with a solution to a problem just to see if I could. Those times felt like I didn't even need sleep.

Are there any resources you could recommend for learning more about this? Emotions as the source of energy and/or moving from anger to curiosity?

[–]EasyDaysHardNightsGrinding like Grandpa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Those thoughts are amalgamated from over 4 years of digesting materials from many sources. It's a very deep rabbit hole. Here's a few more thoughts on Curiosity that I have.

Here's a source to orient you.

Start here. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Completing that will give you enough to start digging on your own.

[–]rocknrollchuckMRP APPROVED5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This is a very insightful post. It explains exactly why I didn't experience the anger phase like so many others. When I discovered MRP I was in a place where I knew something was wrong, but couldn't for the life of me figure out what exactly it was that I was missing. I had already been making a bunch of meaningful changes in my diet and health so I WAS willing to change myself fundamentally to get something I wanted.

I didn't fully realize that I was totally responsible for all of it until I got some direct feedback indicating that it was truly all my fault. But once I understood that, and understood what I was doing wrong and how to fix it, I was completely willing to make the changes taught here. I just needed a starting point. So I guess it depends on where you are when you start.

Seen in this light, anger is a subconscious social strategy which threatens hostility to get something from another without having to take further action of your own.

The anger phase as strategy to avoid personal change

On a somewhat related note, one of the C-level guys at the company I work for constantly uses anger and verbal threats to maintain control of his position and power within the company, and even more so as things continue to change as we grow. He's good at using anger to get others to back down without actually doing anything to fix the problem, so he ends up being a stumbling block for the rest of us in many cases, because he holds the key to any change due to his position. And his threat is credible because he has the power to get rid of almost anyone he want if he feels like it. But as you stated, his anger is causing

further damage to your relationships in a hopeless attempt to get what you want without making difficult personal changes

and is therefore not sustainable forever.

[–]johneyapocalypseTold Death to Fuck Off - MRP is easy mode / MOD || 😃7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The anger phase as strategy to avoid personal change

I wrote that just a day or so ago. I agree.

Sure, it can light a fire, but a fire meant to burn brief and brightly, not simmer forever.

[–]rocknrollchuckMRP APPROVED4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I missed that one - just read it now. Excellent perspective! You're absolutely correct, it does nothing for you but distract you from your goals.

[–]Nursing_Father_If you catch me whining, report me to mods2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it is way more than a strategy to avoid personal change. I remember ed I was more than willing to change but I was still very angry. Redpill is a whole a lot of wild information to digest.

Just imagine finding out that your shitty boss that has been maltreating you is not really your boss. Someone just messed with the office's standard operating procedure.

I was lucky to get out of the phase and accept reality because I started a business and my major customers are women. I wouldn't make a sale if I'm angry at my customer. And the more I spend time with women, the better I understand the redpill is not 'the battle of sexes'

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He's good at using anger to get others to back down without actually doing anything

This is a powerful tool for those few who can use it with discretion and control, and for efficiency not ego or laziness.

I know only a very few people like this, but they're quite effective.

[–]rocknrollchuckMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

With him it's all ego unfortunately - to the detriment of the company.

[–]2wo2wo3hree6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The moment I stopped being angry was the same moment I stopped trying to annihilate my sparring partner. It don’t know which event came first. It doesn’t matter; but, I can definitively say it was also the moment MRP began to gain its traction in transforming my life.

[–]Creamy_Sm00th4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I've been reading quite a bit on the anger phase, mainly hoping to learn and apply lessons learned from others who were here first. So this post is timely for my transformation.

That said, it's just one phase. Listening to Rollo this week, I heard it more in the context of killing the beta. Like the 5 stages of grieving a person goes through. I'd really like more feedback from guys on what other stages they go though here at MRP since we're working a bit outside of the typical RP lens. We're killing the BP part of ourselves and working to save our marriage or LTR. Yes, our goal is to fix the man, but part of him has to die for that to be successful. What's the rest of that look like? I assume it's not all linear, and guys may regress from one stage to another - I think several here have hit the anger stage at different times.

I'm curious to better understand that. For me specifically, my anger seems to be subsiding and I'm accepting what I have to do, but it also seems like it comes in waves.

[–]Tyred_BiggumsMRP APPROVED - anal on 2nd date6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve described MRP as grief before. Because it is a loss. A loss of who you thought you were supposed to be and replaced with who you actually are.

“Everyone fails at who they’re supposed to be... a measure of a person...is how well they succeed at being who they are”.

And yeah. I just quoted Frigga from Endgame.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I heard it more in the context of killing the beta.

I agree that the anger phase (not necessarily the anger) is largely a beta defense response. Anger is better used as a diagnostic tool to figure out the personal failing or weakness that underlies it.

I assume it's not all linear, and guys may regress from one stage to another - I think several here have hit the anger stage at different times.

Many men need several difficult changes, and I suspect another anger phase could emerge each time a new barrier becomes the sticking point.

[–]business---travel3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Rian Stone said it best in one if his videos a couple of years back.

To paraphrase: "The reason guys have trouble with the 'anger phase' or cannot let go of their anger all has to do with their ego still being (somewhat) attached..." - that's it. It all comes down to ego investment and shedding your ego to move on with it.

[–]rollston10003 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

TLDR:

#1: Anger is a sign of an unmet need.

#2: Anger goes away when you can meet your needs.

#3: You can't directly shorten your anger phase


Fuller version:

Anger comes from unmet needs. You are always angry at someone who you think should do something for you but is not doing it. It used to cause action, but people self-domesticated (societies which control anger and violence survived). Actually, all species cope with conflicts either through physical distancing, when one creature can flee (not humans) or non-violent protocols (such as verbal arguments) that increase chances of surviving for the species.

If you are angry, it means that your needs are unmet. This is very common if you start your journey. But the last thing you want to do is to supress your anger. You need to process it. And there are three steps:

1. Understand what needs are unmet.

If you are getting angry in a particular situation, figure out what need is unmet. Do you want sex? Respect? Admiration? Obedience? Control? You're ego may not like what you will find out.

2. Calibrate. You are not entitled to everything. Some things have to be earned and they require time.

Hint: You deserve only what you can get.

3. Take care of your needs.

Some unmet needs require attitude change. If you need to control people around you, you may need therapy. If you demand respect, you definitely need therapy. If you want 15% fat, you need to work hard.

4.

I know I said three points, but here is another point, not really a step. You have plenty of unmet needs, so you are angry. If you want to become your own point of origin you have to learn and internalise that you are capable of handling every need you have.

Coincidentally, this is consistent with MRP journey.

[–]redwall922 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Anytime I find myself taking a certain action or saying a certain thing in order to produce an effect in someone else - that's a red flag for me mentally.

I see that red flag and realize I can't control someone else. I don't want to be in a relationship where I can control the other person.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't want to be in a relationship where I can control the other person.

Agreed. Influence or be heard, yes; otherwise it's a superficial relationship. But control, no; this is a relationship with someone unworthy.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Many men, like myself, have used anger as a "strategy" for getting what they want. In the business and sports world, it can become a habit using anger to gain advantage over those that I can intimidate. It works particularly well in a power vacuum.

On the home front, anger can be used for pleasure to dominate another sexually. Yes, it is a little on the dark side, but it is what it is. The fact is, it just won't work long term.

All that aside, I like this thoughtful post. Good insights here.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Good insights on when and how the anger strategy can be used effectively. I use it very occasionally myself in business, and with misbehaving children when time didn't permit a more instructive approach. It can be very effective when used strategically under your control, but it's dangerous and usually leads to failure eventually when it controls you.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

it's dangerous and usually leads to failure eventually when it controls you.

That my friend, was the lesson of my lifetime.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's very hard to remain cautious with the high explosives when they usually work so easily and well.

[–]Over60_FireTempered3MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

:0) yep, classic footards with dynamite...

[–]BarracudaRPMRP APPROVED / Dreadful '191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"The day you realize that ALL anger is directed at yourself, will be the biggest mind-fuck day of your entire life."

That's a quote from an old MRP poster about 3 years ago. At the time I didn't understand how it could possibly be true.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The “Anger Phase” is actually a very important transgression that needs to gone through

It’s a process.

The ideal situation is to identify it and realize that you created it through inaction or by following society’s norms, thereby becoming a bystander in your own life.

Modern society gives many excuses to become a fat fucktard, it’s oneself in the mirror that let oneself down.

It’s anger at oneself.

Best corse is action is living like your single and lifting like a maniac.

I had an anger phase and my “give a fuck” meter wouldn’t even go off base because I was too exhausted from lifting to care, and her hamster went fucking nuts due to my not giving a fuck or reacting to cunty caddy comments

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off2 points3 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

But the threat must be credible to be effective.

Thanks for that Captain Obvious.

pass through it more quickly

Fuck that. My anger is what keeps me grounded in many instances. Loosing sight of my anger is what cause me to fuck my shit up just recently in fact.

The anger phase is your inner beta's final attempt to double down on this failed strategy before fully accepting the hard RP truth.

No, I totally disagree with this.

Suppressing my anger has done nothing but get me exactly what I do NOT want in life.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Suppressing anger is quintessential beta behavior that locks one into forever repeating the beta rage cycle. Instead of suppressing anger, one should express his emotions like a man, and should use anger as a diagnostic tool to figure out the personal failing or weakness that underlies it.

Losing sight of my anger is what caused me to fuck my shit up just recently in fact.

This is a perfect example of the paralysis and cost of suppressing and sitting on your anger instead of facing and dealing with the underlying cause, allowing you to pass through and beyond your anger.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Ya know, maybe some bad ass dude can unlock his seventh chakra, but not me.

I am going to bottle that shit up, stuff it down into the pits of my belly. Then I am going to go to the gym and lift something heavy.

Eventually if that doesnt fix it, I blow up like a stupid faggot and either 1. Get what I want, or 2. Get what I want.

Rinse and fucking repeat.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I think you could learn to use and manage (not bottle) your anger as it arises, to get what you want more quickly and with less pain and collateral damage to yourself and others.

There's only 24 hours per day, and you have to choose how best to spend them for your own benefit. Maybe this doesn't make the cut. But might you want to consider how much time, trouble, and unhappiness your bottle/live-with-resentment/explode pattern may have cost you?

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This shit is to far into the ether for me.

Is it heavy and can I lift it out of my way or move it? Yes, problem solved.

No? Go lift something else until I can.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Building the strength and the will to just smash through the brick wall, and rebuild later if needed, is a "crude but effective" (as my father would have put it) approach.

Smash on.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Smash on

May the bridges I burn light my way.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn I haven't heard this saying in years. Good times.

[–]Tyred_BiggumsMRP APPROVED - anal on 2nd date6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's important to separate anger and anger phase.

But the threat must be credible to be effective.

Given the shit you went through with DV charges and divorce I'd say the threats are pretty damned credible.

I get angry at my stbx when she pulls crazy shit... I rarely if ever get angry with anyone else. Why? She actively wants to destroy me and take the kids away. DV restraining order, secretly documenting the shit out of stuff, calling the cops because of a minor dog bite. Yes - it pisses me off. I don't really care if it should or not, it pisses me off.

I take that anger and put it to good use - lifting, strategizing how to maximize my side of the divorce/separation, deciding to just let the lawyers sort it out, etc. I don't engage with her, because that's NOT productive.

Suppressing my anger has done nothing but get me exactly what I do NOT want in life.

Agree. As Horns has said countless times that not expressing negative emotions out of whatever 'fear' or 'norm' I envision for myself of it being weak is just putting myself in a frame of some imaginary person or (as my therapist pointed out to me yesterday) "the ghost of [ex's] influence".

Back to the anger phase - which is the time when you're so pissed off at society, parents, or your wife because of learning what reality is. Anger here is misdirected and needs to go back to being channeled to self-improvement and figuring out what the fuck you want (or DON'T want) in my case.

I 100% went Rambo at my wife. But... you know what? I wouldn't change anything outside of protecting myself more with videos and recordings. Because as you had once eloquently stated when I was about 6 months in "your wife will never be what you want, trust me". Something something, just end it now. You were right.

[–]UsefulWalk4Priming the Pump a Little3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Anger here is misdirected and needs to go back to being channeled to self-improvement and figuring out what the fuck you want

That's really what the whole anger phase boils down to right? Your not human if you can just erase years of anger and frustration immediately. You need to channel anger into more productive places than playing the blame game.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I am sorry, where you typing your reply, mine our both of ours?

Cause fuck yeah.

[–]Tyred_BiggumsMRP APPROVED - anal on 2nd date1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

At least I only have my 2nd amendment rights removed until Jan. Enough time to load up before a Biden admin if it comes to it.

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha if there were anything left to buy, yeah.

[–]Blarg_RisenMRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I respect your devotion to anger and what it gets you. Lets not forget though that you choose anger.

Anger is just an emotion. The emotion doesn't get you want you want. The actions that that anger gets you to do get you what you want.

Now if you physically or mentally have examined yourself and found you can't do those actions without being angry, then of course, use anger.

However, there are few actions I can think of that cannot be done from a different internal emotional base (an angry fuck, for example).

 

Now if anger is necessary for your woman to respond how you want, then you are also again choosing...this time to settle for that response, or even that woman.

 

Suppressing my anger has done nothing but get me exactly what I do NOT want in life.

And that's great...as long as one of those things you want in life is to be angry. Everyone is wired different and if that is a pleasant mental state for you, then you're killing it.

If it's not...then you're merely dancing the way you think you need to to get what you want. Anger is a tool. Are you using it? Or is it using you?

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I dont consider myself to be an angry person at all to be honest.

Yeah, when I am on cycle, whatever.

My anger is what keeps me stoic.

Its not like I am walking about like a manboy manstrating all the time being passive aggressive and bitchy.

My anger and my memories of my mistakes is the fuel that keeps me going after what I want.

The anger of past trauma, mistakes, etc.

I am not even sure if it is anger the more I type this out.

I am a guy. I have no fucking clue what emotions are.

[–]SorcererKingMRP SAGE - MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is an honest question: Is the 'anger' you're talking about the same thing as what he's talking about? The anger discussed in this post isn't 'anger' in general, but Kubler-Ross type-anger. What you're describing is the sort of anger that makes one competitive and creates drive. When you lost it you fell into complacency, by definition. Perhaps the difference is the focus of the anger? The source?

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nah brother you have me pegged.

OP and I are talking about two different things as you say.

I dont walk around all butt hurt.

I walk around ready to rip someones head off.

But really, I just want cuddles...

[–]AlohaMaui808Grinding / Dreadful '201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We know you're our special angry unicorn, Red.

Just because Rage turned out to be your spirit animal, doesn't mean this post is wrong.

It means you use your anger as a crutch to keep you moving in the right direction in certain areas of your life, instead of doing the work to both fully resolve it internally and set up structures/processes/habits outside your anger to keep you from falling back into who you were before with a different Chick.

I'll be interested to see if you mellow with old age in your 60s and 70s, and are finally able to find inner peace.

Your current methods just aren't sustainable for the long term, as evidenced by your own recent experience. Eventually anger dissipates. It is natural and healthy. What you do after the anger fades is what matters most.

MOTW didn't say to suppress your anger. You're supposed to work through it like a massage therapist on a section of knotted muscle.

I think you're mostly angry at yourself in this recent case anyway, and you know why.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you're mostly angry at yourself in this recent case anyway, and you know why.

The only person I have been angry at this entire time for anything, is myself.

Edit:

Eventually anger dissipates

Not when you are injecting it every 3.5 days.

[–]therealMericGetler-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

the biggest issue with that rant is that true anger spikes you fight instinct. It'll direct, boost your energy toward your preferred method of fighting, basically, preparing you for battle. This is apparent in the way RAGE is use in ancient armies such as the berserker. Anger accelerates your metabolism to neutralize a threat.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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