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Understanding the "Anger Phase"

August 6, 2020

Recent events in the news remind us that anger often leads to violence, and nearly always precedes it. Among social animals, anger serves in part as a warning of impending hostility or violence, such as the anger of an Alpha male at a challenge or resistance to his dominance, or the seemingly sudden explosive anger of a Beta male pushed too far ... and the threat is often sufficient to alter others' behaviors to avoid violence.

Seen in this light, anger is a subconscious social strategy which threatens hostility to get something from another without having to take further action of your own.

This understanding sheds new light on certain behaviors of beta males, including the "anger phase" experienced by most new initiates to the married red pill.

The anger phase as strategy to avoid personal change

MRP reveals to frustrated beta males that

  • they could be getting much more out of their marriage or LTR,

  • their own failures are responsible, and

  • they must change themselves fundamentally to get what they want.

The first message is easy and desirable to swallow, but the last is difficult and painful to digest. When the subconscious mind accepts the first but still resists the latter, it reverts to the timeless strategy of anger as a last-ditch attempt to get the desired behavior from his wife/LTR without having to make the difficult changes in himself. This is why his anger is misdirected at his wife/LTR, instead of at himself where it belongs.

Why anger won't work

Use of anger as a threat of emnity or violence to coerce desired behavior from others sometimes works, which is why it's such an ingrained behavior in all of us. But the threat must be credible to be effective. It's not.

Domestic violence is prohibited and punished in modern societies, so the primal threat of direct violence is largely removed. Divorce law may reduce or remove the cost of withdrawal of financial support. Loss of a husband's goodwill likely means little to the women whose self-selected husbands find themselves here. Guys end up here because they have already lost so much value in their wives' eyes that they're not worth her investment of better behavior (sexual or otherwise), so the implicit threat of further withdrawal of support or divorce is hardly an inducement.

Guys are here because many earlier displays of anger such as butthurt, beta outbursts of rage, and passive-aggression have already failed. More anger won't accomplish anything beyond delaying their progress.

Increasing your value in the right ways is the only path to improving your relationship (or to a better LTR with someone else). But you're here because your beta mindset has for years resisted such changes, and has instead pursued failed BP strategies (including anger), and it's not giving up that easily. The anger phase is your inner beta's final attempt to double down on this failed strategy before fully accepting the hard RP truth.

Getting through the anger phase

The anger phase is a psychological strategy enacted by the subconscious, so it is very difficult to overcome by conscious thought or action. My hope is that through conscious understanding that its true cause is your incomplete acceptance of your full responsibility for your situation, and the necessity for difficult change in yourself to get the things you desire, you can

  • pass through it more quickly,

  • avoid further damage to your relationships in a hopeless attempt to get what you want without making difficult personal changes,

  • or at least consciously force yourself to get started sooner on those difficult but necessary personal changes your subconscious so desperately wants to avoid.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill.

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