A field report of a different sort.
This is pretty hard to write because I could do a novel. High points - Married 15 years, 2 kids, Walkaway Wife this spring. I actually started browsing the Red Pill stuff before she left, thought about 'changing' things, but in the end chickened out - because ... What if it made things worse ? Didn't want to rock the boat.
Before : For most of our marriage moved around for my job - made good money, she was a SAHM - somewhat lazy but she did cover the bases - took good care of herself, good physical shape - HB6 ? but paid to have her teeth fixed, new boob job (had cancer right after we married - walked her thru that) moved her to a 7+. Me, I wasn't a Beta, more of one of Vox Day's Sigma's - my give a shit level was fairly low - happy to be married but knew from Day One she didn't love me - which was not optimal but OK as long as she filled all the other roles / holes. No deadbedroom, rarely turned down but not a lot of effort on her part. I did become fat pretty quickly but she never seemed to care much and I always did some running (been doing it all my life).
Straw that broke the camels back was building her a new house. Decided a few years ago to buy a country place and try to let the kids experience life outside an apartment. Had lots of 'discussions' about it, thought she was OK with it (altho there were warning signs). So me and my son build a house, send the wife and daughter on overseas vacation. Bust our balls - 80 days straight - 100 degrees - no days off - get a functioning place done. Lots of bugs to work out, but liveable.
Wife comes back, hates it. So appeasement starts - let her choose lots of things hoping she'll get on board - after a couple of months of bitching start have mini-Main Events - I basically tell her if she is THAT unhappy she needs to think about leaving. For me this was my MAP and I thought we had discussed everything at length and she had signed up for the full package. Incorrect. Also in my view it came down to making a better life for my kids or appeasing the wife. Wife lost. My father made the same move when I was a kid - to the countryside - and it changed Everything about me - I knew my kids needed the same.
So True Main Event comes and I drive her to the bus station (she's moving to Las Vegas where life can be exciting again) - she's tired of "hiding in the wilderness" (her words - 15 minutes from a Walmart LOL).
Never forget her look when I dropped her off - little wave goodbye and that was the end. So now of course started looking for answers and swallowed the Red Pill. Thought I knew a lot about women and relationships - dated / screwed dozens, LTR 7 years one, married 15 years one. Wow did I turn out to be completely clueless. This after watching my father get fucked by my mother in his divorce. Spent the summer working on my MAP - worked out, lost 30+ pounds, doing huge projects around the property (poured almost 100 yards of concrete this summer). Spent tons of time reading sidebar stuff, NMMNG Rational Male Athol etc. Still learning.
AAR (afteraction report) - I 'might' have been able to sticksave the marriage if I had gone Red Pill earlier, but confidence is not high from all the FR's I have seen here. My MAP was too big of a change - if I had more a suburban white bread corporate lifestyle MAP in mind, yes, it would have worked (maybe). I did some things very well - have not spoken with her on the phone or email or text other than logistics since she left for the most part. Got a decent divorce agreement spelled out and signed - should be final shortly. Kids spent the last six months with me. Even at my advanced age can see lots of avenues for LTR'ing or marriage again - lots of girls out there willing to take up the slack from the Walkaway Wife - but ... not really as gung ho about that as I thought I would be - go figure LOL - internalized AWALT a lot after digging thru this marriage and all the past LTR's. Much less desperate for sex too. So why bother ? Guess that will sort itself out - still long ways to go on my MAP.
So here's the twist on this FR. Don't have a real great relationship with anyone in my faimily other than my dad. Brother is Major Left Wing Blue Pill, mom is Yuge feminazi, etc. So didn't spend any time explaining what happened straight off. When I did get to it - turns out that they had already gotten the basic info from my dad and my ex-wife (texted my mom) Everyone with the exception of my father decided that it was ALL MY FAULT. You know, that complete bastard dragged his wife and kids into the wilderness and built her a new house. My mother wrote me one of the nastiest shittiest emails I have ever seen - it was all my fault, I was traumatizing my kids by not letting them live in a big city, I had zero integrity - on and on and on. I must have pushed every emotional button in her little hamster head. Keep in mind this was a woman who blew up her marriage from multiple episodes of cheating which ended up in fights for years when we were kids as my father just Blue Pilled the whole thing. Even my cucked brother told my father it was all my fault. Remember now, not one single one of them so much as bothered to pick up the phone or send me an email asking how I was doing, or ever asking 'what happened'. My mother and my sister even decided that they are going to Vegas to stay with my STBX because - she needs emotional support in her time of trouble. I have never been so disrespected in my life. And it all came from my own family. I'm too old for that shit. ANY person who shows a complete lack of respect or basic human decency has no place in my life. I replied to my mother's email and told her to a) go fuck herself and b) do not ever contact me again.
So I NEXTED them. ALL of them.
Fuck that shit. Got my MAP, got my kids. Everyone else can go fuck themselves. And that, my friends is a Happy Ending.
