I've seen a lot of comments lately about what it means to be a leader. So often men think being a leader means micro managing every detail of your household. This isn't leadership. It's coddling and yes you can coddle your wife.

I work in the industrial sector. Sure security isn't at an all time high, but I make good money doing it and I like what I do. In typical fashion, we go through a fair amount of supervisors. There are 3 different types.

The Dumbass(drunkin captain)

  • This is the guy who really has no concept of what's going on. He can't really organize anything. He defers to everyone on what he should do. People like him, but they don't respect him. So predictably, he gets takin advantage of. People use him kindness as weakness to get what the want.

The Micro Manager

  • This guy has a good concept of whats going on. He over organizes everything. He steps on people toes trying to make everything run as smooth as possible. He pisses his employees off with his pretentious attitude. People don't like him or respect him. None the less, his ship sails and it gets to its destination, because people have been clearly tasked on what needs to be done.

The Leader

  • This guy also has a very good concept of what's going on. Unlike The Micro Manager though, he gives people the space they need to do their jobs, while also solving any problems that they may encounter. People both like and respect him. There is an unspoken agreement between him and his employees. The workers know that he is accountable for failure, but because they respect him so much, they do their best in an attempt to keep him as their supervisor.

You can probably guess which one is the most successful.

Becoming The Leader

As with the leader in a managerial sense, you need to take responsibility. Your wife needs to know that if she makes a decision and it fucks up, you'll own it. You still need to reward when she does well, but you can't punish for mistakes. The punishment for a mistake is you doing it yourself next time. If your dread game is on point, this will be enough.

Over time you will cultivate a confidence in her that she can make decisions on her own and because she knows you'll fix any potential fall out, she makes them out of a positive frame (your frame) and is more likely to succeed.

If your wife can't get a vehicle to a mechanic and get it fixed because you're unavailable, then you're failing. Maybe she makes a mistake? Is fucking up your plans to come wipe your wife's ass better than fixing it when you are around next?

If you think being a Leader is making every fuckin decision in the household, you got your shit twisted homie.