I put this in AskMRP and Strategos suggested it belongs here as well:

If you've read about covert contracts, you will instantly recognize the “If I get her flowers, she will want to fuck me” type of covert contract. There are plenty of other covert contracts that are covered in the reading . This made me think about the covert contracts we are brought up with. If you do well in school, you will have a good job If you have a good job, you will have a nice house If you have a nice house you will have a pretty wife The implication in these recognized contracts is the idea that your wife will WANT to FUCK YOU. This is incorrect. Your wife will want to fuck you if you start and continue to exhibit these Alpha qualities. You will lift and get more fit, you will straighten out your finances, you will stop acting like a hurt child. Then your wife will want to fuck you! Did you just believe me? Did you say to yourself that of course you will lift and do all those other things? Slap yourself, you’re in my frame. I am just Some douche on line. Even if you do those things, no one is saying she will want you. All any one is saying is that these things have helped them, and therefore they are kind enough to share those ideas. Gents, Please lift for yourself Get in shape for yourself. Get your shit together for yourself Do the appropriate levels of dread for yourself. Then maybe she will fuck you like she wants it.

and if not, you have a decision to make. again.

My struggle with this whole thing is : society is based on covert contracts on the daily... Example is if you do you job well you will get promoted or get to keep your job. Etc. them's the " rules" How do you guys deal with the cognitive dissonance of OI in marriage when basically we are all doing it so that " it" gets better and " therefore " you'll probably be happier?