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You’re Marriage Doesn’t Define You —Merry Christmas!

JDRoedell
December 25, 2018
132 upvotes
/r/MarriedRedPill

Just a quick thought for everyone today.

On Christmas Eve, I had this vision, this desire, after the kids had gone to bed, to sit by the tree, watch the lights, sip a bourbon and listen to Handel's Messiah. I pictured doing this with my wife. She was tired after a long day of making food, getting kids ready for church and helping me prepare the tree with gifts. I asked if she wanted to join me. She preferred to watch the rest of The Christmas Story and go to bed. I didn't push. I said "ok," and went into the living room to do just what I had planned. And you know what? I enjoyed the solitude, the time with myself and the calm evening. I had a good time all by myself.

Women can add value to our lives but should never be the focus or integral to our happiness.It may sound harsh and cold to newbies... but you don't need her. You can desire her, but you don't need her.

You don't even "need" your kids. You love and value them, but you don't need them or her. Yes, I would be devastated if something happened to my kids, but at the end of the day, I am still who I am when I stand alone. You don't need your wife. What you do need is to be comfortable in your own skin, by yourself...

Alone.

As men we are designed, biologically, to be self sufficient. To survive on our own. A woman can enhance your life-- but she doesn't define you. If you find yourself in a place where she is defining your existence and your happiness and purpose... you're wrong and you will be disappointed.

Women can add value to our lives but should never be the focus or integral to our happiness.

Be ok with solitude and your thoughts.

Be better.

Be enough.

Merry Christmas, men.

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Post Information
Title You’re Marriage Doesn’t Define You —Merry Christmas!
Author JDRoedell
Upvotes 132
Comments 38
Date December 25, 2018 11:14 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MarriedRedPill
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/youre-marriage-doesnt-define-you-merry-christmas.197511
https://theredarchive.com/post/197511
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/a9j9sl/youre_marriage_doesnt_define_you_merry_christmas/
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Comments

[–]An_Actual_Politician44 points45 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd hazard a guess that most of us here found our way here because we let our wives define and eventually emasculate us. This is a great message and reminder for the holiday season, when the temptation to buy into the Disney "happy wife happy life" fairytale is at its zenith.

Merry Christmas to the men here who helped guide me through my darkest hours, and provided me with the toolkit to turn adversity into strength - physically and mentally.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hold your own torch, brother. People can follow or not. Doesn’t change your drive.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockPlaying the lead roll21 points22 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

“...you're wrong and you will be disappointed.”

So true.

You’ll come to realize that she isn’t a very a good friend at all. She’ll gut you at the first sign of weakness.

She’s happiest & horniest being a submissive to a strong alpha male whose along for the ride.

Merry Christmas.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 9 points10 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

You’ll come to realize that she isn’t a very a good friend at all.”

Lover, mommy or friend. Pick one.

And since I know the friend-lover thing is debated here, let me clarify... she’ll never embody the kind of friendship you have with other men. My wife and I are definitely NOT “best friends.”

[–]Mandarin836 points7 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

I struggle with that approach, that she's not my best friend. I don't know who else would nurse me back to health when my sciatica kept me bedridden, on and off for the past few weeks. Took care of the house and 5 kids. Granted, I wanted back in my own 2 feet ASAP, as I do not want her running the show. She's not as patient with, nor conforting towards the children. And she's often careless when tending to the home, like flushing out the bleach in the bathtub this past Friday, by running the hot water until the 75 gallon hot water tank went cold.. Using way too much laundry detergent, but not using fabric softener or dryer sheets. Running the thermostat like a kindergartnener. But she still does so much around here and takes care of us all.

But then again, I don't trust her like I'd trust a male friend. She's prone to insecurities, being cruel or insensitive, neglectful, you name it. She'll remind me of the (unpleasant) past when it suits her, yet conveniently forget hers when it's incriminating. She'll put me down or be grumpy and irritable, and not own or acknowledge it, yet I couldn't dream of getting away with that, nor would I want to. It's shameful. Yet she does it.

How do I (we/us?) reconcile the two (or more)?

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

But then again, I don't trust her like I'd trust a male friend. She's prone to insecurities, being cruel or insensitive, neglectful, you name it. She'll remind me of the (unpleasant) past when it suits her, yet conveniently forget hers when it's incriminating. She'll put me down or be grumpy and irritable, and not own or acknowledge it, yet I couldn't dream of getting away with that, nor would I want to. It's shameful. Yet she does it.

The cold hard truth hurts, doesn’t it? You reinforced my point with this paragraph. Still think she can be your best friend?

[–]Mandarin83-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

😕

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Look, it sounds like you have a halfway decent woman, if she’s taking care of you while you’re experiencing health issues. Just don’t assume it’s the norm. Women’s love is not unconditional. They can fight against hypergamy but at the end of the day, we are men, and nobody gives a shit about us.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. I'm also wondering if she is keeping a mental record of every single move she made while you were ailing, and adding it to her 'X Reasons to Dump His Ass" file.

[–]Mandarin830 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

She's really great. I love her so much. I've just got to grow some balls and lead. She's unknowingly told me so, in more ways than one, more than once. I'm going back to the basics. ADHD be damned, I need to read all the basic material.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She’s doing you a favor. Most women won’t come out and say as much.

Earn this

Read the sidebar

[–]Frosteecat1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you self medicate due to the ADHD? That can be an issue.

[–]Mandarin831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see an MD for proper medication.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You dont. Welcome to the real world. You can be used (friends but no sex) or mothered and mommied (but no sex) or you can be lovers. If you try to take a middle ground and ground she will poke and test and deny and poke some more. She will be like a shit testing terminator. They don't sleep, they don't rest and it absolutely will not stop until you are dead.

[–]coinbaserep-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel you. Just this past Friday I had siatiaca flare up or something on my left side (I struggle with l5-s1 disc problems) left me inflamed and bed ridden for 2 days. Just feeling better today

Happened when I was resealing the kitchen backsplash.

It’s a bitch of a thing. Leading up to Friday I am at the gym 3 says a weak. Overhead press 105lbs benching 140 squat is weak as fuck at only 100 (too much pain). Im 6’0 170 lbs I’m working on getting stronger. But I can do all those lifts fine and then my back blows out Leaning over the counter sealing tile for 40 mins. Fml

It’s good that we have wives that take care of us but fuck it that’s hard to be demoted to second in command for a day. What a sign of weakness I’m sure she was horny for me that day

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

See a trainer for a workout that does not aggravate your sciatica!!!

[–]Kpwn882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lover, mommy or friend. Pick one.

You just summed up MRP in six words. Bravo!

My wife and I are definitely NOT “best friends.”

My wife calls me her "best friend" even though I'd never call her mine. I guess it makes sense though. She can actually depend on me to be there for her when the chips are down.

[–]readwolfe17 points18 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Bourbon and Handel's Messiah? What a great idea.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A great combo

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMRP MODERATOR4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I like the cut of your jib.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks sailor

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off13 points14 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I posted in OYS as it isn’t single post worthy but,

You post makes me smile.

Smile in the fact no matter how great you think your woman is, I will never have to deal with a tired, self entitled woman who cooked all day for xmas, just to be a bitch later on in the evening.

I will take happiness and bacon and eggs long before I ever take a three course xmas dinner with all the trimmings and any type of xmas cookie I want while I have to deal with a shrew wife, destroyed house and kitchen due to the mess and carnage left over from 10 hours of cooking and complaining about choosing to cook.

I had a fantastic holiday. ALONE.

Fuck all that nonsense.

[–]JudgeDoom69MRP APPROVED3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

shrew wife, destroyed house and kitchen due to the mess and carnage left over from 10 hours of cooking and complaining about choosing to cook

Haha this. Women have covert contracts of their own. "I will cook a huge meal, and in exchange I get to be a martyr and bitch about how hard I worked all day, and leave a huge mess in the kitchen for others to clean up". I sure as fuck don't miss that shit.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t subscribe to this circle jerk. I laugh this shit off. And when she gets unreasonable I ask the question “do you really think XYZ?”.

What ever the unreasonable expecitation is... it’s just another shit test.

Want to be a bitch all Christmas? Got damn it sweetheart you are a ray of sunshine just beaming into me.

As for the extreme holiday bullshit, I got pushed exactly once to my limit around a big holiday event like this. When I returned everyone wanted daddy back and were treating me like I’ve shown them I expect.

They don’t fuck around anymore. No wait for sure they do, but either I shut it down or they don’t dare push to that limit. So it seems they don’t fuck around just the same.

[–]JudgeDoom69MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They don’t fuck around anymore. No wait for sure they do

Make up your mind, son. Do they fuck around or not?

I still contend that it’s better to not to deal with holiday shit tests at all. I had a wonderful Christmas with my kids and no drama.

Later that evening after the kids were gone back to my ex, plate #2 came over for some fun and I plowed her ass. Life is good.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The “wait a minute yes I still have shit tests” is a nod towards the fact that they never really disappear but they can be so easily handled that they hardly register.

I have no doubt ditching the low value woman has helped both of your sexual strategies, son.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, yours is the next level of the same story.

A woman who cooks, cleans and tends to children is of value, but not necessary.

I fucking love just eggs and bacon.

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I fucking love just eggs and bacon

Especially for dinner.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You talk about that nonsense as if it’s a bullshit part of the game. That nonsense is nothing more than a slew of shit tests meant to be passed. It’s all part of the game most of us have continued to play one way or thee other some more successfully than others of course.

[–]red-sfpplustells 1000 lb club pussies to fuck off1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bullshit.

Some of us just had poor selection back in the day and put our dick in crazy.

RP fixes the man, not the marriage.

[–]470_2_700_nm6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bullshit for the sake of calling bullshit?

They all have a sliding scale of crazy. Nothin special about your original crazy snowflake.

It’s just she turned out to be a net negative for you.

Do you actually think there isn’t a single man out there who can wrangle that bitch successfully? I know for sure I wouldn want to even try. Doesn’t mean it can’t be done. And I beleive MRP sidebar approach would be his toolset.

They all gas light, project, shame, manipulate, lie, turn against you in a minute if it suits their best interest. It’s a sliding scale.

[–]HierEncore 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

a woman who cooks for you and raises your kids and goes to church?

​

I can't speak for anyone else, but that's a rarity in my part of the world.

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Maybe I’m lucky, maybe I became a man worth being that kind of woman for. Either way, be the masculine to her feminine. http://truemasculinevalue.home.blog/2018/11/23/the-contrast/

[–]HierEncore 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

that and it sounds like your old lady was raised a certain kind of way that is becoming rarer

[–]JDRoedellMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yes, I’m not going to pretend that doesn’t help. I still have to reinforce the things that feminism fights against.

[–]470_2_700_nm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the moment, so much rests on things you don’t control directly. For example, her cycle. Any situational dread that she may be experiencing. Your level of game in that instant.

I had the best Christmas sex I can ever remember having with my wife on the eve. I’d like to think I could have sat with some spirits on ice or called Sally just as contentedly.

I need to reflect on that to confirm that is the case.

[–]throwaway108458501 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me it’s been rye, beer and Bach. And I’m jewish but there’s no good Hanukkah music so

[–]FoxShitNasty83Captain of the HMS Fucktard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, this is a message that is starting to hit home with me. The mental shift to being a strong dependant man.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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