Any man who finds his way here isn't happy. No exceptions. Men who are happy, content or fufilled don't type "Why is my wife a bitch?" into Google as a last ditch effort before idling the car in the garage for a quick nap. They don't type "Why won't she fuck me?" and then find some old /r/archwinger article about women being for fucking And they sure as shit don't reach out to a few hundred random assholes on the internet, dump their life story onto an internet forum like a brand new jigsaw puzzle then ask everyone how the fuck the pieces fit together. The point is those guys are hurting.
Because what they are already doing is not getting the outcome they thought it was.
I was that guy. I came in here a mess, Whinemoreplease and ultmatecad called me a homosexual and laughed. I realized I was crying like a bitch and not solving anything, so they pointed me in the direction of some stuff to get started and told me to fuck off unless I had a specific question or a sticking point on something I've already tried. Do you know what they didn't do?
They didn't call me a noble warrior poet whose 'got this!' because they were busy sorting their own shit out and didn't want to waste it on someone who can't be arsed to do the heavy lifting in his own fucking life. Thats as masturbatory as I'll put it, because the 'work' is heavy. It's not the working out, thats kinda fun. Not getting fat and eating right is fun, cooking is fun. It's all fun. You know what isn't fun? Forgetting all the dumb shit your mom/pastor/wife/friend/idiot told you about how to manage your life without fucking it up. that takes effort, introspection, time, patience, and most importantly,
Not fucking lying to yourself
And the process is shit simple to get from that google search of desperation to a dude who has his shit together. I'm not talking about your career skills. You're a great business owner. I was a great sailor. No one fucking cares.
You get angry. Either your wife cheated, or left, or made you a eunuch (technically you made it yourself) and you do everything and are taken for granted, or worse ... punished for it. You're supposed to get angry, anyone telling you otherwise is an asshole. Awesome, you're angry, now what?
Anger: Anger is what stops you from being lazy. If you're not experiencing real emotional pain you won't do anything. Why? Because we are bred to be lazy that way. Brains take energy, and without a real survival pressure it's going to keep doing what it's already done, because changing how you think about the world and how you act takes a shit ton of energy. This is why girls just go with the flow ... theres no survival pressure for them to act any other way. That anger is your survival pressure.
Mental/Physical Health: If you're fat, stop being fat. If you're skinny, gain muscle. if you look like shit, buy some nice clothes and take a shower. Thats simple, it's not easy. The part thats not simple or easy is that shit on the sidebar. They are there to make you into your personal shrink. All your mommy issues, abandonment fears, nice guy behaviours, risk aversion, lack of assertiveness, all the other bullshit tools that make you act like a bitch; they guide you to stop doing them, and do more attractive things. You probably don't know whats fucked up about you, hence the thousands of dudes in here who will shit all over your stupid LARPING fantasy. You reflect our former shitty selves and calling you a retard helps us get over that. You realizing you're a retard helps you get over it. Everyone wins. If it's worth someone elses time to offer more than that its because they've been there and they see you doing the heavy lifting and know you wont waste their time. Teaching is the best way to learn, everyone wins.
Direction: This is the first thing people ask for, and the last fucking thing they need. No one here can help you with that, though most people who haven't done 1 or 2 will gladly offer their services. In his autobiography, jesus said "Know these assholes by their useless fruit". You're lost, we get it. we all are. Life is 99% guess work and 1% adaptation. Want to be a "Family Man™" "Patriarch™" or "Alpha Male™" ? fill your boots, thats no ones business but your own. It's outside the scope of this place. your only goal should be to make yourself attractive enough, mentally resilient enough, and with enough resolve to do what the fuck you want to do in your life.
It's as hard as you want to make it. For me, it was simple. the military told me what to do for most of my working adult life, my parents before that. I wanted to be selfish and live for me, not being taken for granted surrounded by as few or as many people who added value to that as possible. Once I had that, everything else became subservient. Is it alpha?
Who fucking cares, it worked.
I will suggest that whatever you decide to put as your raison d'etre, ensure no one else is required to achieve it. Because 'my kids' 'my wife' having to do or be anything is another covert contract, and you're wasting your time.
Spartan shields not required.
If you're doing this shit right it should be as matter-of-fact as your workouts are. Nothing special, just a process of getting shit done for you. Normally this part is where I add some annecdote, a little pathos to get this to resonate with you. I don't want to, it misses the entire point. Your feelings are retarded and you're retarded for having them. Fix your life and fuck off and thats it.