Did you grow up without a father like myself?

leelbeach · 2022-02-20T09:38:06+00:00

My dad died when I was 6/7 and I had no real father figures after that. I was pretty much raised by women after that and they were quite feminine.

ratherabsurd · 2022-02-21T05:15:24+00:00

Yeah, he left when I was about 6. Had visits a few times up until I was around 9 or something, but for the most part he went to the pub during these.

My mum was mentally ill and had a boyfriend for many years that was mentally and physically abusive towards me. After he left she found another partner and they soon moved away, and I was as physically alone as I had always been in every other facet of life.

As to your question, I wish I knew. I'm 36 now and I feel much of my life has been an embarrassment trying to work this out. Certainly it can also be challenging if your one parent has their own issues and uses you as a tool to serve their own needs.

The things I have felt have been most useful have been getting into philosophy and art. I particularly enjoy stoicism, existentialism and absurdism. Also, finding characters in media to emulate, I think Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek is a solid one.

Having said all this though, I feel really "out of sync" with other people. Maybe because I've had to basically invent myself with no blueprint I'm a bit hard to understand.

In general I feel far, far behind my contemporaries. Women also don't seem interested in damaged goods, so on top of being abandoned as a child, good luck every being loved because you're a broken man. Disposable.

Title	Did you grow up without a father like myself?
Author	johndylaninrome
Upvotes	27
Comments	8
Date	February 19, 2022 5:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	/r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/did-you-grow-up-without-a-father-like-myself.1103996 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103996
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/swfu4e/did_you_grow_up_without_a_father_like_myself/