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First meeting with my therapist didn't go so well

November 28, 2022

It technically wasn't even a therapist. It was a licensed counselor that I went to today. And he is male and on the psychology today website, it said he was geared towards stress, grief and even trauma. At first, he seemed nice and inviting but then further into the session, there was no connection between us, he was condescending to the point where it almost made him look like an asshole and he told me that the only way out of my situation is to get a job immediately. That is the same advice some online counselor told me online years earlier. But at least I didn't pay them $100 every week (because he isn't covered under my insurance). Once I left his place, my brain felt battered and bruised and I felt more alone in my situation than ever before. I think the only solution is to find another therapist (a real therapist, like a psychologist). I was even told that I should get a social worker even so I could learn new tactics to navigate my environment and circumstances better, beyond just "get a job, ya bum". That's not saying I'm giving on therapy. I'm saying that I'm not liking this guy right now and I may end up therapist searching again until I can find another therapist (male) who actually takes my insurance. And if I'm still not satisfied with the counselor I'm seeing in like 3 sessions, I'm leaving. I cannot afford to sacrifice myself mentally, emotionally and financially even more than I already am.

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[–]McBoom0 14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Not all counselor/therapist are meant for everyone. Don't think you're stuck to 1 helper. People might tell you finding a job is the answer. But if the solution is simple most of the time it isn't easy.

Let's share what you go through and see if any of us can provide proper input to how you can get back up on your feet

[–]BlackoutWalksAlone[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You mean you're open to a convo with me?

[–]AvoidPinkHairHippos 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not just him.

All of us in this sub and LWMA and elsewhere.

[–]McBoom0 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not only me but more. Feel free to DM me anytime if needed

[–]terrorist_giraffe 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me too, and probably most others here. DM or comments, whatever you prefer.

[–]vogelbjorn 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some therapists/counselors are just assholes. It's the kind of profession where you get to interact with people at their most vulnerable, and that attracts all sorts of weird, ego-maniac people.

With this I don't mean to discourage you to stop therapy, but actually the opposite: if you didn't feel comfortable with him, switch out therapists immediately and don't give him any more of your time and money. Therapy is always worth it, but only when you can trust the other party.

I think it was very rude and unprofessional of him to start the session with "lol get a job". You could be living off your savings or relying on a support net (a relative, who knows). Even if it's true that you gotta get back to the workforce as soon as possible due your situation, a good therapist will help you build yourself up so you go out there feeling confident and prepared to face any challenges.

TL;DR: Guy's an ass. Don't bother with any more sessions. Find another therapist and see your life improve sooner.

Best of luck brother.

[–]lightning_men 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He might be a terrible counselor. He might just not be the right counselor for you. Either way, I think you're right to move on.

[–]Qantourisc 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He might be a terrible counselor.

he was condescending to the point

What do you mean might ?

[–]terrorist_giraffe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As someone who has seen a number of counsellors and psychologists over the years, that happens. You get some who are a poor fit for you, and you get some who are absolute duds who probably should change careers.

Don't discount female therapists entirely. Most of the therapists I've connected with best have been male, but one female therapist I saw many years ago was absolutely life-changing.

[–]leopold_rot 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

First therapist I had sucked. Took me a while to realize it because I didn't have a frame of reference and everyone just kept telling me to "get therapy" like it was some kind of magical panacea, but I finally found someone good. Wish I would have sooner, but the first one really discouraged me from looking.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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