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How do you deal with issues with food and body image?

June 24, 2022

Hey guys, I've struggled with this my entire life and I just thought maybe I should just see if there's other things out there I haven't tried or thought of. I was just thinking recently how obsessed with eating and food and trying to not be fat, to no avail, I've been my whole life and yet I've never succeeded in being at a healthy body weight.

Not to mention, going from being the fattest kid and being a walking joke, who is already weird and dealing with abuse and neglect at home, to never experiencing those youthful things like first loves, dating, etc, to entering adulthood with some very firm negative believes about yourself that are perpetually reinforced.

I'm in my mid 30s now and I have spent most of my adult life oscillating from grossly overweight, to losing it, to putting it back on, to losing it, and to never ever being satisfied and only ever seeing a disgusting subhuman blob in the mirror. And also, never being (or feeling) attractive to women and therefore rarely dating to once again reinforce the feelings of being disgusting and worthless.

I've come a long way, worked hard at it such as lifting weights for several years and generally being my own friend and so on, I'm always trying, and I feel like I've come so far. I've been back on another improvement stage after a long time spiralling downward, but I'm struggling once again the manage my eating and the gnawing loneliness and general feelings of futility. I know so much of it is momentum. But I don't know what to do sometimes, and if it even matters.

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Post Information
Title How do you deal with issues with food and body image?
Author ratherabsurd
Upvotes 21
Comments 8
Date June 24, 2022 2:18 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
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[–]PastDueGoodEnuff 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel you man!

I've been working out my whole life and still i struggle with weight issues, i've gone from looking great to fat and back several times. Right now i'm fatter than i've ever been, and i'm trying to change it. I caught myself in the gym today feeling out of place, i felt like i didn't belong because i didn't look good enough. Then i thought thats a pretty f***ing stupid reason to not go to the gym.

You are who you are man, maybe the past has been more shit than you care to shovel, but it can't hurt you right now.

Build that momentum, brick by brick

It's gonna be great dude, rooting for ya

[–]ratherabsurd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

hey bro thanks for the reply Relatable, for sure! My first time stepping foot in the gym was about 4 years ago, and I still remember how ridiculous I felt being there, a big sloppy fat guy confusedly using the equipment for about 2 mins before getting embarrassed and leaving. But looking back it's pretty cool how far I've come despite the struggle and the relatively modest gains.

And I don't know about you, I imagine at your more advanced level these things work differently when you come back after a break, but I feel like I've got a better attitude towards myself, my training and my diet this time around.

Thanks king, same for you!

[–]gfischer9818 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

For me the biggest things that have helped my body image issues are lifting weights and changing how I think about food. I think of food as fuel for lifting and getting stronger and healthier in general. I want to be a healthy fit guy and keeping that in mind helps when I feel like I’m too small because I’m not muscular enough or I’m too big if I’m putting on fat when bulking. It’s hard. just about everyday is a struggle and it’s taken me about a decade to see this but it gets easier. Be kind to yourself man you are doing the best you can and just acknowledging that you have these issues and where they come from is a big step. I’m proud of you and I know you can get to a better place

[–]ratherabsurd[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hey man, thanks for the response, I feel I get where you're coming from as I've been through a similar process. Fell off pretty hard a couple of years back, stopped lifting and put on 30kg of fat, but trying to get myself back (and have lost about 20kg just walking everywhere and slowly getting my eating back to vaguely human).

Yeah, I'll try to keep being kind to myself and appreciate the progress I've made. I'm proud of you too mate, you've obviously fought a lot of your own demons to make it where you are. Thanks again mate, hope you have a good one.

[–]gfischer9818 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I hear you man. Pulling yourself out of a hole like that isn’t easy at all but you are doing great honestly.

I will say that it’s totally okay to be upset and feel like you aren’t where you want to be with your body but don’t beat yourself up too much. You just want better for yourself and staying in that negative space won’t help you move forward and get better. And thanks man I don’t get to hear that often so I really appreciate it

[–]ratherabsurd[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks man, thinking back this little convo did help me a bit I think. :)

Slowly been getting the eating back to somewhat decent and pedalled to the gym yesterday and had a solid session, keen to get back tomorrow.

Hope you're doing well mate, and I hope you're keeping your progress in perspective! From my experience, I could never appreciate the progress I'd made when I looked at myself in the mirror or w/e. But looking back a year or so later, I didn't realise how good I had actually looked and the progress. Which was unfortunate because I had fallen into that hole shortly after in part due to feelings of futility and self hate over the perceived failure and intrinsic shame and disgust over the bods.
So that sucks but all one can do is learn from it I suppose, and try and turn it into fuel for the fire of self love and improvement and so on.
Take care my dude.

[–]gfischer9818 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hell yeah man! You are awesome. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better.

It’s wild you say that because I recently was feeling a lot of the same shame and hate for the same reasons but saw an old picture and realized just how far I had actually come in the past 10 months or so. But you’re right. We just gotta try to keep perspective and celebrate the victories whenever we can. Take care too bud

[–]Irish-Hydra 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As someone who was over 300 lbs in college to weighing 145 lb today - let me promise you that it can be done. Take things one day at a time. Take care of the small battles in front of you. One foot in front of the other.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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