I am stuck in a complex position.

I let back an old friend in my life who has made it clear that she is feminist. The reason why she stays is because I am dealing with financial and problems involving my family that I really only feels she can understand.

My dad died recently and that has put more pressure on my shoulders, more than there already was before he died. Also I have been suffering from urological problems for 3 years now and my doctor told me the only possible solution is another surgery (I went through a meatotomy before and now he wants to perform a urethroplasty). I am of course kinda freaking out about it and I prefer getting a second opinion but my options are kinda limited and the pain is getting to me, plus I'm not sure how my insurance and coverage might be affected because of my dad's benefits (I know very little about insurance works and that is what my old friend is good at navigating through).

And the worst part is that for the most part I am navigating through all this alone and many times I do feel like I'm losing it. I have been thinking into getting back into therapy but my friend told me not many out there are trauma informed at all. She still told me I can feel free to look for one that can help me plan out a future for myself. But again, it is VERY tough navigating through all this by myself and I'm just wondering if I'm making the right choices or not. I just wish I had someone else around that can help me get through this