~ archived since 2018 ~

I just want to sleep and never wake up...

June 13, 2022

TW: Suicide

I'm a struggling student who's barely getting by (I barely got enough marks for exam admission). But then this morning when I got a concrete schedule and I gather some determination, my laptop falls of my table and it's cracked. Exams is in 2 weeks and now that my laptop is out of commission I'm losing a lot of study time. (That's waiting for my parents to mail me one from home). The pressure is so immense I broke down in tears and it is all my fault, all this shit was preventable and now there's the very real possibility I'll fall because of it.

Then this morning I got a text from my mother saying she's in hospital for intense stomach flu. I get that it's not too serious but she's the person who I love the most so I'm extremely concerned about her condition and whether it will improve or worsen.

Then on my what to the shops to get a quotation, I sprain my ankle....

Couple all that with a depression I've been suffering from for over a year and you have to recipe for a mental breakdown.

I'm sick of this. I'm sick of always terrible shit happening one at a time, I'm sick of always having to perform at my peak no matter what and always being a burden to my parents. I'm sick of always getting beat down everytime I try to make my life better. I'm slowly getting sick of living.

This post looks incoherent but I don't care, I'm not exactly thinking straight right now.

I never considered suicide but this is the first time it actually looks tempting...

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Post Information
Title I just want to sleep and never wake up...
Author Toxic_Lord
Upvotes 21
Comments 2
Date June 13, 2022 12:48 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/i-just-want-to-sleep-and-never-wake-up.1116158
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/vbbfog/i_just_want_to_sleep_and_never_wake_up/

[–]Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey bro. How you feeling now?

Have you tried speaking to the administration team at your education? They may be able to get you mitigating circumstances. Also, ask if they have access to mental health services. They genuinely want to help you succeed so if they've got them they'll pass you over.

Alternatively, if you're in the UK, Andys Man Club is running this evening. Check the website for your nearest branch.

Message me if you'd like a chat. Xx

[–]UnHope20 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry to see things are tough. Problems can seem insurmountable and it doesn't particularly help when there's no support system in place for you to fall back on.

I want you to know that you can make it through this. Please go to the emergency room if you feel like you are in immediate danger of harm.

We are rooting for you but in order for that to happen, you have to around.

PM me if you want to talk.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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