~ archived since 2018 ~

If what the 'manosphere' says about society is real, I don't wanna live in it.

July 4, 2023

Hey folks,

I'm probably not the usual poster here. Should preface this by saying that I am going through a very stressful time in my life, and I am grateful to be allowed to vent post here.

So recently, outta nowhere, I've been exposed to more and more manosphere-adjacent content on youtube. Seriously, I never asked for it. And it's crazy, once you start watching it. Like a trainwreck, you can't peel your eyes away from. Or maybe one of those disturbing LiveLeak videos. You know what I'm talking about.

Is what they say real? Does this world really only care about me for what I can provide? Is my value going to be judged by my appearance & career prospects by women for my entire life? I wonder if they realize how dehumanizing that perspective is towards men.


So I was watching one of those Oprah-esque talk shows one day, and they had Ben Carson on. Don't get me wrong, I don't support his politics one bit. But he said something that stuck with me. The host asked him about his ill-fated campaign, especially the public dragging he was subjected to, much like any of Trump's opponents. I remember he sort of looked into the distance, and then straight at the camera.

"You know, I tried to be respectful. To talk about what I thought mattered to people. Didn't call anyone names. Shook hands when I had to, and listened to the problems people told me they had. And I even tried to fix some of them"

Audience laughs

"But then, you do all that. You try to do the right thing. And this is what you get.", and he pointed to himself. No one laughed at that one.


Man, how the hell did it ever get to this? I'm a good person. I try to be kind to people. I've volunteered countless hours towards causes I care about. I've been in loving relationships. I care about my family. I've always tried to do the right thing, and this is what I get?

The more I think about it, the less I want to contribute to this broken society. I've been called 'scary' because of how I look before, profiled, etc., but I have never felt so demoralized in my entire life.

Seems like I gazed into the abyss, and it gazed right back into me. The question is, where do I go from here? How do you all find meaning? worth the struggle?

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/MenSupportMen.

/r/MenSupportMen archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title If what the 'manosphere' says about society is real, I don't wanna live in it.
Author man_and_a_symbol
Upvotes 30
Comments 14
Date July 4, 2023 2:08 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link
Red Pill terms in post

[–]BonsaiSoul 28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This, too, is the manosphere. Some people try and reduce that word to just its hardest-to-sympathize-with denominator, but it encompasses spaces that center men talking about our feelings, lived experience and things affecting us without being talked over. In the same way that feminism is more properly a plurality of "feminisms" that don't always align and may even contradict each other, men's spaces also vary wildly. There are also spaces like this one.

There are places and lifestyles that are dehumanizing to men like those videos talk about, but rather than trying to adapt to being dehumanized as they suggest, you can also choose to insist upon justice and being treated like a person. The only doors that close to you by doing that are ones that lead to places that are incompatible with those values. No loss there. Not conforming to an unacceptable status quo makes life harder, but doing the right thing usually does.

[–]Current_Finding_4066 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some people try and reduce that word to just its hardest-to-sympathize-with denominator

They do it purposefully. In an effort to discredit any reasonable critique of feminism and misandristic policies, they are promoting and trying to pass on into law and official policies.

[–]rainbowlunarian 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, in my experience, it seems to be true unfortunately. The good thing, though, is that it's only a generality. In other words, there are women out there who will value you for who you are, or for the love and friendship you provide to them.

For example, there are many stories of women who stay with their husbands and boyfriends even when the guy loses his employment, or goes through some sort of crisis or life-changing event. Also, hopefully you have parents or family members who value you for who you are, and who don't try to take advantage of you.

I mean, it is really depressing to know that we're valued only for the work we do and the money we earn. But just remember that not all women (or people) are that shallow. Try to distance yourself from those types is people, and when you find someone who actually values you as a person, do everything you can to show your appreciation and keep them in your life (even just as friends, and regardless if they're women or men).

And forget about society. It's rigged against us, and is being intentionally set up for collapse. Just do what you can to prepare for yourself and your loved ones, and to position yourself to be able to help people who you think might be in need.

[–]ElGobert 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You start by letting your instinctive masculine drive be the captain.

The quote by Carlson resonates deeply with me. All throughout my adolescent I felt that I had to declaw myself to be accepted by society. I have been ashamed of my masculine qualities, I've felt that in order to be a good man I had to suppress them. To be a timid guy, to never dare to speak if it might offend someone, to blindly accept other people opinion of how I should act and behave.. all of this because that's what I've been implicitly told by our culture growing up.

This past year have been a rollercoaster for my mental state, both in terms of mental health but especially my mental model of the world and my place in it. It feels like having a funeral for my childhood. To bury the fantasies of youth and accepting that being born as a boy does not automatically mean that you will develop into a man. Man makes himself.

At first it will scare you. You might feel all kind of emotions when faced with the truth. I know I did. But after a while, at some point, you will accept that being a man comes with certain duties; and after a while you will realize that there is no bigger blessing than being born as a male. You are given the opportunity expand on the work of all your forefathers. To keep laying down the bricks that drives humankind forwards.

GO! Be your unapologetic masculine self. Give this life every single ounce of the essence that makes you, and let beauty blossom.

[–]psychosythe 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I put a lot of that manosphere crap in the same basket as conservative talk radio or those 'female rage' tiktokers.

They need you to feel awful so that you keep watching and they keep making money. They don't give a single fuck about anything else, they have their angle and they know if they fuck it up too much they'll lose views. So they just tell you everything's awful and no one cares about you to keep you scared and isolated and glued to your screen.

But yeah when women acknowledge your existence the first two things they're going to look for is how hot you are and how many signs of wealth you display. That's just ugly biology.

[–]dath_bane 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Meh, i live in a pretty balanced relationship with my gf. Good ppl exist and don't let ppl pressure you. Many femisists make bad experiences with men and social media often pushes the craziest/worst opinions. Bitter women and bitter men exist

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think sometimes the manosphere is a bit like the broken clock analogy - right twice a day. And for someone who's struggling with identity issues and self worth, being right twice a day is better than being told you're never right.

[–]DishPiggy 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What is a manosphere?

[–]Current_Finding_4066 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It is a term currently abused by feminists to silence their critics. They lump together all of them in an effort to present all male opposition to the demonization of men as unhinged.

You should rather read more for yourself and make up your mind.

[–]big_meats93 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

the internet allows people to confirm each others' most cynical possible views to each other. what we otherwise might have pushed down or kept private, we've now ripped away the filters and vomit into communal pools of shared brooding negativity and destroyed vision

in this age, deferring by default to the most negative possible version / view of reality allows a person to admonish themselves of all responsibility for the management of that reality. and a lot of people seem to crave that. then they can continue to descend into a mire of isolation and various addictions and blame it solely on other people as the problem. if everyone is doing that though, society on the whole will continue not looking so great. someone's got to make a turn somewhere.

what you're talking about is just one version, but there are many different shades and colors that appeal to many different people. but the outcome is the same: defeatism

take a break for a little while, from the whole internet if you can, and just interact with people "IRL". see if you feel any different.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sadly its adapt or die on this round earth. There may be hope Geomaxxing. Who knows.

[–]Yesyesnaaooo 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t think of it as value extraction.

Think of it like this: women (and men) admire strength but strength takes many forms, some strength leads to wealth, some strength leads to compassion and some strength leads to offering protection and help.

You help people because you are strong.

However, some people are weak and these people also make money, and sometimes help people because people are taking advantage of them.

The question of attraction doesn’t come down to what you do but instead why you do it.

Ben Carson was a self promoting arrogant narcissistic ass hat and while he was strong some people admired him, what he displayed on Oprah was that in the end he was doing everything out of weakness and fear because when he lost he had no inner strength to fall back on.

The point isn’t to stop helping people the point is to do it from a position of strength, whatever that means to you.

[–]MeisterMGTOW 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

‘Manosphere’ is a very broad term. I have no idea what you exactly mean by it.

[–]man_and_a_symbol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I apologize, didn't mean to overgeneralize or anything. Was just stressed and venting.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2023. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter