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In a few days I have to say my last goodbye to my uncle. I lost what little faith I had left in karma.

chrisdidwht
December 23, 2022
25 upvotes
/r/MenSupportMen

I dont like making my problems public. But at this time, i have no one in my life i can vent to. I have to be stoic so other members of my family can greive...

My uncle is in the hospital. He is injured and sick and they say they cant do anything else for him. He is only getting worse. He doesnt deserve this. He was the guy that made everyone laugh at the family parties. He always rooted for me and made me feel like the man. Even as a child. He always told me he loved me and he always told me to do the right thing. Even when its hard. At family gatherings he made sure everyone had a good time.

Last time i went to the hospital. It was painful. To see someone that was so lively and full of life in that condition. My other uncle that past away a few years ago was also a great person. He was an artist and loving father. He gave his daughter everything. But he felt like a failure because he never made the big bucks.

All this made me think about life. It made me think about my life. And how i view life in general. I cant help but feel like its always the people with the biggest heart that suffer the most. Maybe thats why my life is so full of pain. I care too much. I beleive in people who end up being selfish. I give and give hoping that it will one day come back to me. It never has... and now im finally realizing.... it never will... no one will ever give me the empathy patience and kindness i try to give to people i care about. The only time ive gotten something out of life is when i did things for myself. I bought all of my possesions because i worked for myself. So called friends only respected me when i looked out for myself. And even in relationships, the only time i didnt get cheated on or used is when i was selfish.

So why? Why does giving never come back to you? Why are people so f** selfish? Why do bad things happen to the best people? Why do selfish greedy manipulators get the farthest? Why do they always seem to be blessed? Why is having a heart a curse? I hate this world so much. You never get what you give. You only get what you can take.

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Post Information
Title In a few days I have to say my last goodbye to my uncle. I lost what little faith I had left in karma.
Author chrisdidwht
Upvotes 25
Comments 4
Date December 23, 2022 10:41 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/in-a-few-days-i-have-to-say-my-last-goodbye-to-my.1145931
https://theredarchive.com/post/1145931
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/ztus92/in_a_few_days_i_have_to_say_my_last_goodbye_to_my/
Red Pill terms in post
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Comments

[–]paxmopio 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sorry you're going through this. Sometimes the most selfish of us do get ahead in life through horrible actions and behaviour. But it's not all for nothing. Think of the happiness and love your Uncle has brought to you and how he has helped build you up. You passing that on to bring joy to other people's lives would be karma too, in a way. You have received love from him and you can pass on love to others. It hurts like shit sometimes but hopefully you can find some positives out of it.

[–]Input_output_error 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

My man, life isn't fair and rarely people get what they deserve. I understand these feelings that you have all too well. I lost a dear uncle too not too long ago, it truly sucks, specially during the holidays. I'm still in the process of clearing his home, it breaks my heart every time i'm there.

There might not be much the doctors can do for him, but, you can still be there for him. I know this shit is scary as fuck and no one wants to be there, but you aren't there for you, you're there for him! I know it is tough, but i don't think you want your uncle to die alone.

​

I cant help but feel like its always the people with the biggest heart that suffer the most.

Yes, people with the biggest hearts get hurt the most. It is inevitable, you can only get hurt by things that you care about. The real question though, could you really stop caring? And even if you could stop caring, would you want to stop caring?

Getting hurt ain't never a nice thing, but not giving a shit isn't a life worth living either. So taking everything to heart will kill you, but not giving a damn about anyone won't work any better. The trick is to give a damn about the right things. What these things are is something you'll have to answer for yourself, only you know what works for you.

I give and give hoping that it will one day come back to me. It never has... and now im finally realizing.... it never will... no one will ever give me the empathy patience and kindness i try to give to people i care about.

Do you give because you want it back? Or do you give because you think it is the right thing to do?

People often are oblivious of the feelings of others, they have to be told. If they really are your friends then they care when they're told. But you can't expect people just to notice that you're not doing well or want to talk to someone. They, like you, me and everyone else is busy trying to live their own lives and are stuck in their own little worlds.

If these people still don't care after you told them then they aren't your friends.

The only time ive gotten something out of life is when i did things for myself. I bought all of my possesions because i worked for myself. So called friends only respected me when i looked out for myself. And even in relationships, the only time i didnt get cheated on or used is when i was selfish.

There is a big difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish. Looking out for yourself isn't selfish, working in order to save up for some material possession isn't selfish either. Doing stuff for yourself isn't selfish, the first person you have to take care of in your life is you. If you can't take care of yourself there is no way you can help someone else.

Helping someone is a good thing, but giving help always comes at a cost to you. It might not be a great cost, but it isn't something you can do an infinite amount of times. So you have to space them out, care only for the things that truly matter to you. But don't be stingy either, helping someone in need can truly be a lifesaver, if it doesn't cost much but helps someone a lot it is a good trade off to me.

Why do selfish greedy manipulators get the farthest? Why do they always seem to be blessed?

Well, they get the farthest because they are selfish greedy manipulators. It does work, but being like that comes at its own cost too. They seem blessed, but, there aren't enough sociopaths or psychopaths in this world for that to be true. Only people that have no empathy at all can feel blessed fucking others over, others may act that they don't care, but they do. They are very lonely people that everyone avoids for good reason. Some may be okay with not having people to care for and that care for them, but they are rare.

He was an artist and loving father. He gave his daughter everything. But he felt like a failure because he never made the big bucks.

The important thing is, do you agree with him? Do you think he was a failure for not getting famous and making big bucks?

Personally i wouldn't think of your late uncle as a failure, far from it even. It isn't easy making a living as an artist regardless of what kind. Most people that go into any form of artistry won't ever be able to make a living out of it. The fact that he was an artist in of its own is sort of having made it. That he was able to raise a daughter well next to that makes it look like he had his priorities straight.

Can you tell me what exactly would having 'it' made would mean to you? Is it having lots of money? Maybe it is having a big familie that you can love and support? How about being famous? Would that mean someone has 'made it'?

He wasn't a failure, he was just a dude living his life. Yea, maybe he struggled, i don't know, but does that make him a failure? I don't think so, everyone struggles from time to time. That doesn't make every one a failure, it makes them human. If anything, an artist that struggles but is able to hang on to their dream of making a living as an artist seems like a success story to me.

Hang in there mate,

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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