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My family never seems to remember the times when I succeed, but the times I messed up? They pull up my entire history.

April 27, 2023

I'm just fed up of being reminded of my failures, but being the only one who celebrates when I succeed. Despite having a family it feels like I'm truly alone most of the time. Constantly being compared to my siblings and nephew and as a result feeling distaine for them and isolated from the group.

Shit sucks man

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Post Information
Title My family never seems to remember the times when I succeed, but the times I messed up? They pull up my entire history.
Author throwaway159101
Upvotes 35
Comments 5
Date April 27, 2023 2:45 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]Disastrous-Star-7746 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Man, there are no easy answers there.

Have you told them how it makes you feel? Or asked them why you have to do what your siblings and nephew have done? "I am proud of my siblings/nephew too, but I also want to go my own way. Can we agree comparison is the thief of joy and try to move on here?"

Failing that, can you look for ways to distance yourself without cutting your family off?

[–]Affectionate-Sock-62 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This. Is the healthiest answer, and at the same time the hardest I think. For many reasons it can be brutally hard to speak up. There's a lot of background behind being able to address these behaviors calmly and kindly. But in the end it's the healthiest and best option.

[–]Disastrous-Star-7746 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah often those conversations don't go well at first, or at all if the family is super dysfunctional. OP could be in a position where they depend somehow on them too, I dunno. But if you can't ask, then thinking about distance or boundaries is good, bc they're mentally hurting OP.

I hope he figures a way through or out

[–]Crunch-Potato 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sadly that is the type of family you have, more then likely this is their learned behavior from their own parents.

Similar shit goes down with my folks, they only ever lived in an environment full of criticism, so squeezing out praise is like passing kidney stones for them.

[–]GroundbreakingAnt322 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sucks. Why do you need enemies when you have friends and family like these ??

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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