~ archived since 2018 ~

my old female "friend" told me that she'll khs if I won't let her touch me

October 10, 2022

I got that interaction on audio recording. I feel so proud of myself.

We meet every saturday. Every time we meet, it goes by the usual.

-we meet outside (In a park, a playground, basically any cool place outside) - she starts getting touchy with me -i tell her to stop -she gets pissed and tells me it's her love language or that i'm being dramatic -we talk a little bit -after a while she continues to touch me innapropriately and her voice gets all weird and whispery -i tell her to stop again -she stops with a visible pissed expression -we talk some more -we say goodbye and go away

But that day she wasnt just touching me she fucking tried to kiss me

I've told her plenty of times that Im not intrested in her. She usually reacts with "well, i'm not really into you either" but mf this time you straight up tried to kiss me. KISS. ME.

After a while of this happening, I decided that I should finally take action. I pulled a audio recorder this saturday, and recorded the masterpeice of a conversation.

She literally said "jesus, if you don't stop telling me that im gonna kms. You're a man. Grow tf up. Other guys would DREAM to be in your situation."

the fact that when I give her the simplest fucking ultimatum, that being not touching me inappropriately, she threatens to khs just speaks VOLUMES about her.

Can't wait to show it to her parents. Beforehand i didnt want to tell them because I know for a fact that the only thing that would convince them to not beleive me is their "precious sweet daughter" saying "he's a liar."

It's getting bad to the point where i get shivers just thinking about meeting her. I feel so sick.

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Post Information
Title my old female "friend" told me that she'll khs if I won't let her touch me
Author Teeafrog_44
Upvotes 66
Comments 17
Date October 10, 2022 4:42 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n 32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is all brilliant for you. Absolutely show her parents, and make a copy and save it somewhere you can ways reach it - like a Cloud. You never know when you might need that.

But be cautious - her parents are not the enemy, so when you do show it to them do so as a concern for their daughters well being. Do not take delight in it because they sure won't.

Be reasonable to them, and block contact with her. And have a plan against retaliation. Perhaps call the police and say you'd like to report sexual harassment. That way it is on file. But don't press charges. It creates a paper trail leading back to your security.

[–]These-arent-my-pants 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

First off, stop meeting her. Secondly, show her parents your evidence. Thirdly, go to the authorities. Explain the situation, make sure they know she may attempt to self harm and you want them to do a wellness check. Lastly, limit your interactions with her.

[–]Skirt_Douglas 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The “You should feel so lucky” defense, classic female gaslighting. Other men dream of being in this situation? Oh okay, go touch one of those ones then.

You’ve taken the right steps so far, now just keep disinvesting in her and back away until she is beyond the horizon.

[–]rainbow_bro_bot 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If a man said that to a woman it would be seen as a violent threat, as well as domestic abuse in a married couple.

She's a red flag you want to end all contact with.

[–]uniptf 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A) stop meeting her

B) show this post to your parents and play them the recording

C) meet with her parents, show them this post and play them the recording

D) tell them to keep her the fuck away from you and get her help or you'll get a protective order

E) if they don't, get a protective order

[–]a-man-from-earth 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to tell your parents and play the recording for them. Then contact her parents and a trustworthy person at your school.

As soon as possible you need to break all contact with her, before this escalates further.

She's abusive and threatening you. She stopped being a friend a long time ago.

[–]michaelpaoli 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

She's not a friend. If she won't respect your boundaries, why even deal with her at all?

Her parents? Why involve her parents? Why invite all the extra drama. Your "old" female "friend" ... is she like 12, or 112?

She has way too much control over what I feel

Yeah, but now how you act, and react, and behave. She doesn't control you, you control yourself.

[–]a-man-from-earth 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

OP said he's 15. I'm assuming so is she, give or take a year.

[–]michaelpaoli 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, yes, thanks, not in the post, ... but to be found down in OP's comments.

[–]TwizzyMK -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why would you show her parents? Why would that be your default instead of just ignoring her? Are you a child?

This is between you and her. Just move on and put her put of her misery by cutting her off. Communicate very clearly and say why it isn't ok and exactly why you don't want to see her again. That should be enough of a wake-up call for her.

If it isn't... Keep the recording for your protection and let her know about it as soon as she starts making trouble to avoid escalation.

The aim would be to give it to the police, not cut off a person who shared suicidal thoughts from one of her potential support groups.

[–]Teeafrog_44[S] 12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I can't just ignore her. She has way too much control over what I feel. You can't just tell a sa victim to cut off their abuser, that's fucking stupid.I know that it's what I should do, but every time I try/think about it I get scared about how she might react.

She'll get pissed, shittalk me, or tell her parents i'm a horrible person for cutting off a childhood friend like that.

And yes, I am a child. I'm a 15 year old boy. I can't just casually walk over to the police and say "yeah i'm getting molested" because it would need so much more preparation. I would have to talk about it with MY parents, make them explain everything, pray to god the police even takes the case seriously, have her family get involved, and so much more shit i'm too young to be thinking about at the moment.

No shit. A child is hurting another child. What are they gonna do? Tell a adult.

And wdym "communicate clearly"? Sure, we are kids, but she's not 6??? You think that saying "stop touching me, I hate it" or "please stop, it's making me uncomfortable" isn't clear enough to show that what she's doing isn't ok? She has a brain, she should know.

"Oh yeah but her parents are her support, you shouldnt treat a suicidal person like that" Do you even hear yourself? She's assaulting me and treating it as something I should be thankful for. She's not suicidal either. She said it in a way that was really passive, not in a serious manner. She's as suicidal as the eggs i had this morning. She often vents about her days, her moods, and honestly, I think she's pretty happy in life. I doubt that she's suffering with anything. She was trying to guilt-trip me, nothing more nothing less.

Besides, even if she WAS depressed and/or suicidal, that doesn't give her some sort of pass to touch me innapropriately. She should seek help if that's her way of coping with her thoughs.

Her parents should fucking educate her about why it's wrong, because I obviously can't do it. If I could, she'd quit the first time I said "stop" 6 months ago. I'm seriously running out of solutions so yeah.

[–]TwizzyMK 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok fair enough mate I didn't realise you were young.

If you live with your parents please share with them first. Part of why this feels overwhelming is because you have been dealing with it on your own.

You are completely right and you shouldn't have to be dealing with stuff like this, especially at your age. My expectations and comments were based on you being an adult, and even then were unnecessarily harsh. Sorry buddy.

Please reach out to someone you trust in the real world who can support you as you progress with this. Don't just approach her parents alone.

[–]TwizzyMK 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And RE your point about her risk of suicide... She sounds unstable enough to at least harm herself for the attention. Yeah it isn't your fault if she weaponises self harm, but it's an easy one to avoid by just dealing with this asap. Your recording is more than enough to convince your parents, her parents, or someone at your school that you need to be protected from her, and that she might need protection from herself.

Good luck mate.

[–]atactic87 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why are your meeting with her? I'm not sure what khs means but it sounds like she is not your friend.

[–]a-man-from-earth 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

khs = kill herself

She's using the threat of suicide to blackmail him into allowing her to sexually abuse him.

[–]YearningConnection 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then let her khs not your problem. If she doesnt want help thats on her. If you feel like it alert her family but nothin on you man.

[–]Crunch-Potato 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would not go near her again...

That is a whole ass bag of crazy, and that part of killing herself does not come out of nowhere, she is dealing with some serious stuff.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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