Hi! To qualify the title, in my opinion gender roles are bad for both men and women because it forces the sexes into boxes that they don't want to be in, it's fine if you think they are good, this isn't a debate about that.

Now, to the meat of the question, everyone around me and on the internet thinks gender roles is hell for women and beneficial for men, and because of this, I also grew up thinking that gender roles were created to benefit men and oppress women. I really hated them, especially since I am a woman.

My boyfriend (20M) is a very traditionally conservative man and loves the idea of gender roles, so I (20F) tried to get him to dislike them, then he told me he wanted to follow them because he wants to provide everything for me, and protect me from harm. So I asked him what he wants in return, and he said that he just wants me to love him. Then I started rethinking gender roles.

I'm not saying gender roles are always easy for women, but it is definitely better than the male gender role. Even if you look at traditional gender roles, the husband is expected to provide money for the whole household, and pay for wives' and kids' food, shelter, schooling, medicine, and entertainment. In addition, if the family ever goes out and an attacker befalls them, he is expected to give up his life to save them. He is also expected to do the most difficult and laborious work in the home, such as cleaning the gutter, taking out the trash, and fixing furniture, etc.

All of this responsibility can cut into time with his children. There has been many a custody battle where a man spent so much time working to provide for his family, that he didn't spend that much time with his child, and the mother gets full custody of the child because of this.

Due to these roles, men are more unhappy at work than women, work longer hours, do more dangerous and dirty jobs, get murdered more, live shorter, and have a lower quality of life in general.

One thing I hear from feminists is accusations of the double burden, that women have to go to work and then come home and do all the housework while the man lies on the coach watching TV. But this is untrue for most couples, as men actually do 4 MORE hours of work a week, [Source]

This comes back to what I was saying about my SO, he believes that men should be the head of the household and that wives should submit to their husbands, and he gets this from the bible.

I've also talked to many feminists about the bible, and they think that the fact that the wife should submit to her husband means the wife is the husband's slave/property. Many people deride the bible as sexist for that.

But no one is upset about Ephesians 5:25-33, where it says that the husband has to die for the wife if need be, and that he must provide for her needs.

So I feel like I'm crazy because no one talks about this? No one says that doing these things is demeaning to men. People will say that a wife cooking for her husband is demeaning but no one says men opening doors or sliding chairs is demeaning to men, instead they will also say it is demeaning to women.

My SO loves being chivalrous so he doesn't mind doing it, but I just found it weird no one has a problem with men doing all of these things for women.

Do you feel the same? Do you think gender roles are unfair to men?