I made this post on another sub and someone told me it would be a good idea to post it here as well.
I always thought that sexism, be it misogyny or misandry, can be best understood through experience. I am transsexual, which means that I have experienced both being perceived as a woman and as a man by society. So here's my experience.
Background:
I'm ftm transsexual. I spent the first 18 years of my life as a girl/woman and these last 2 as a man.
My experiences as a woman:
The good:
Most people treated me very well and those who didn't mistreated me because I'm autistic, not because I was a girl. I was never made to feel bad whenever I asked for help and when I did people were happy to help me. Guys were happy to help with emotional issues particularly. They were always happy to be there for me if I needed to talk. Overall my mental health and well-being was taken more seriously. Additionally it was easier to make friends. It just seemed like others were more comfortable around me and felt safe to open up more around me.
The bad:
Nothing really. I never experienced misogyny ( and I grew up in yeehaw land). I wasn't exactly attractive so I never received sexual/romantic attention from guys be it positive or negative. When it came to other girls, there were a few that were shitty but I think this too would have been worse if I was attractive as they would see me as competition.
My experiences as a man:
The good:
Socially, nothing really improved. I hear some people say that men are taken more seriously, especially when it comes to the work place. But at my work men and women are treated the same. I am more confident now but that's because my gender dysphoria has lessoned considerably.
The bad:
I don't ask for help much anymore, especially when it comes to my mental health. Whenever I do ask for help, people are less enthusiastic about helping me. And I've also noticed that the quality of help I receive has decreased. I find that it's harder to talk to people. They just don't seem as comfortable around me anymore nor does it seem that they trust me nearly as much. it's hard to make friends compared to a couple of years ago. People just treat me neutrally and sometimes even negatively. I noticed strangers are more wary around me. Nothing like pulling their kids closer or clutching their purses tighter, but they stay farther away and don't make as much eye contact (not that I mind, but I'm sure many people would).
Final thoughts:
It was a very jarring experience. I went from being treated how a person should be treated (trusted, listened to, supported, etc.) To being treated like, well, a man. In my experience I've been treated far worse as a man. I by no means regret transitioning in any way, but I do wish that someone would have warned me about this.
Keep in mind, my experiences are my own. For some people it can be very different. Additionally, I've only been treated as a man for 2 years now. Maybe that "male privilege" I've been hearing about will kick in soon /s. Or maybe I'll just more and worse misandry, especially as I progress in my transition and become even more masculine.
Shared from r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
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Men learn not to be vocal because when they are, they're ridiculed for it.
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You know what's totally not strange? OP calls himself a "transsexual". Maybe this just happened 20+ years ago, I guess. Why else would he use an outdated term that's not used in the transgender community at all anymore?
That would also explain why OP's post doesn't read like any of the experiences from trans men I've seen. It was just a different time back then.
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That's not what Transsexual is, if anything it's the opposite. Transgender is the broader term, for example it includes trans individuals who choose not to take hormones/undergo surgery.
Transgender is far more widely used compared to Transsexual nowadays.
That being said, I wasn't fair to say it's not used at all anymore. Some people still choose to identify as transsexual, and I'm sorry if that statement caused someone to feel invalidated.
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