Around 70% of divorces are initiated by women, what are some of your theories as to why that is?

rbep531 · 2022-10-16T05:13:34+00:00

The divorce tends to be less painful for them. Child law favors them, they typically win from a financial perspective, and most will have an easier time in the dating market. It's easier to walk away when you have less to lose.

Why might they be more likely to want a divorce in the first place? I think that boils down to men being the chasers and women being the ones who are chased. The guy feels lucky he caught something. The woman feels that something better might come along.

InteriorInsights99 · 2022-10-16T07:13:15+00:00

I live and work in Europe. Quite often there are social get togethers and my female colleagues talk openly about their dating/relationships. 12/15 of my female colleagues are divorced ( 6 for the second time). They were the ones to instigate the divorce. They’ve frequently stated that their husband ‘didn’t look after them enough’, or ‘didn’t make them feel special/wanted.’ They all willingly said that meant their husbands didn’t show how much he cared for them… he didn’t spend enough money on them being one of their major gripes. They all earn good/excellent salaries so are financially independent. They wanted their next partner to ‘show them even more love/appreciation.’ The amount of money their husband/partner spends on them was in the top three reasons they wanted someone ‘better.’

Each of them then ‘upgraded’ with their second husband ie his job/status/salary was more than their previous husband’s. A man’s job/status/salary becomes more important to a woman the second time she marries. Our head of communications earns about 180k€/year. Her first husband was a doctor, second owner of an IT company and the third is a CEO of multinational. She’s told us many times that she’s never paid once for a holiday, or opera/ballet tickets, and each of her husbands covered her monthly clothes shopping via an ‘allowance.’ They even bought her a car. This is quite common over here in Europe. This is ‘ girl power’ according to her female colleagues.

Bottom line. The more independent a woman becomes the more she feels the need for her partner to make her feel loved/protected. I didn’t even know what female hypergamy was before I started working here in Europe. Now I see it everywhere I work.

EnforcementX · 2022-10-16T02:14:37+00:00

Women can leave you for any reason and are entitled to half of everything you have, even if she didn’t contribute. She’ll take your money, your house, and your kids.

ScreamWhileIWatch · 2022-10-16T02:05:20+00:00

My grandpa made and makes all the money, he can't get divorced despite hating his wife because she'll likely get the house. He's no longer able to work and is only able to support himself through his union benefits.

traveller1976 · 2022-10-16T03:17:01+00:00

Every woman in my family divorced their husbands:

Grandmother: grandfather was too good and just boring
Mother: father got cancer and she was just over it
Aunt: he was a mechanic who paid for her studies, once she got her masters he was low class and she upgraded
Other Aunt: was just batshit, divorced 3 times, killed herself when se was 55, broke and alone
Sister: cheated with husband's buddy, married him, cheated on him too
Other sister: Was lonely because her husband was away for work a lot.

Ocelot-marmax · 2022-10-16T01:56:58+00:00

Feminists have constructed this stupid narrative about “well women file all the paperwork because they’re biologically experts at it and men are Homer Simpson and won’t do it and women are frustrated at the patriarchy and do all the massive work to file paperwork so women don’t actually file the divorce, the men do, but she does the paper work so she looks like they do but it’s really him because he’s lazy…”

That’s the lie they came up with. Probably the same idiots that whine about women’s clothing not having pockets because feminists refuse to buy clothing with pockets because Chad won’t find pockets attractive.

Just the endless lies.

Why do feminists do it? Because as they also claim, women check out for years earlier, then they finally file and blindside the guy because she checked out and he was isn’t psychic.

Naturally it’s never because she wants his paycheck and a free house and not him. He has zero financial incentive to divorce and she gets cash and prizes.

As we know, all women prefer to pay for men in dating and relationships and thinking giving them money is racist.

But feminists deny this, because all feminists out earn their husbands and are way like, smarter so they never get alimony.

And lie and lie some more.

That’s why.

The real answer? Money and chad fantasies. But as in all things, feminists won’t tell the truth.

springy · 2022-10-16T06:45:38+00:00

Almost all societies are built around protecting "women and children first" even if that means sacrificing men. A woman who leaves her husband just needs to play the victim and society will come running to help her.

SpicyNippss · 2022-10-16T02:26:30+00:00

By virtue of men's sex drive, natural tendency to prioritize women, and women having vaginas, women will always have a leg up and look for a better option. This means they can jump ship and have a life raft ready at all times, practically.

Also, the number one cause of divorce is financial troubles. With men still being bread winners, it's not hard to put two and two together. Man falls on financial hardship, wife leaves.

I_SHIT_ON_EGGz · 2022-10-16T07:54:28+00:00

I can't speak for every culture but in the US men are socially conditioned to believe that their express purpose in life is to make their wife happy. Women are socially conditioned to believe that the source of their discontent is their partner.

I read a study a while back that showed the correlation between your partner's happiness and your own satisfaction with the relationship. Unhappy men will suffer silently and their significant others will generally still believe that the relationship is in a favorable and positive position. Unhappy women will essentially drag the entire relationship down with them.

There's actually truth to the phrase "happy wife, happy life," but I prefer "unhappy wife, unhappy life" because that's generally how it works.

So yeah. Men just shut up and take it. Women jump ship far sooner.

Throning · 2022-10-16T09:16:53+00:00

There don't need to be theories, necessarily.

For straight couples - women are practically incentivized to divorce their husbands; through alimony, child support, custody defaulting in their favor to practically default child support in their favor. There's a few other factors to it, but those are the big ones.

For lesbian & gay couples - there's only the past couple decades worth of same-sex marriages being legal to draw data from; there's enough variance in data collected that, outside of generalizations and early impressions, it's difficult to say what, if anything, is statistically relevant. What data there is, however, trends toward lesbian women being just as abusive/violent as straight couples, and gay men typically being more agreeable/able to work out differences and still find a romantic spark. Exceptions to either trend exist, which only another 20-50 years of data will really "fix".

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-10-16T02:05:50+00:00

The most common reason women file for divorce is boredom. With no fault divorce there is no reason to stay together and women win custody so there is no down side for them.

With default 50/50 custody men may feel it is safe to reproduce in our society.

Trailer for Eat Pray Love

FuriousGeorge50 · 2022-10-16T05:47:19+00:00

In Europe the divorce rate is much lower because you only get what you brought into the marriage and can prove you contributed. If the man can prove he made 90%, you get 10%.

Rough-Area4765 · 2022-10-16T02:59:49+00:00

In the state of Texas, 91% of divorced fathers are non custodial parents. That means 91% are funding the ex wife’s lifestyle via child support.

The state of Texas is a no fault divorce. So wife, or husband, an go cheat and the assets would be split in half either way.

A marriage is a contract where one side is incentivized and 91% guaranteed child support and 50% of the assets.

All the woman has to do is claim “I am not happy” when her hypergamous clock rings. She walks out free and clear with kids, child support and half the assets. That why you have a higher percentage of woman filing for divorce as it’s a no lose situation.

Men don’t file as it’s true to keep her, is cheaper and you still get 100% of your kids.

If men had the same rights in family court as woman, with a fault based divorce system that penalizes the initiator of divorce, you’d see the divorce filing by men equalize.

Hubrisir · 2022-10-16T07:21:41+00:00

Testosterone is responsible for sex drive in both men and women.

Male average levels 7x higher, except at time of female ovulation.

Male levels can be 100x higher at the age of seventeen. Good time for arranged marriage, which also used to happen in the west. 'Oh, you really must meet.....'

Females, due to oestrogen amplification effects on dopamine pathway, are more left-brained, concerned with gaining resources for themselves, and children sired during receptive ovulation period.

Females derive social status from the income of their PARTNER. Hence hypergamy. When the love goggles come off, they see divorce as an opportunity to transfer half of his wealth to their own pockets. This will enable a further climb up the social ladder.

Kerrrrchinnngg!!

AndyBrown65 · 2022-10-16T02:11:59+00:00

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault

ACSekai · 2022-10-16T01:57:45+00:00

Most divorce is for financial reasons. So one of the partners isn’t making enough… and we already know which one that is.

Women are sold a fantasy of marriage and when reality sinks in after a couple months or years they become almost vengeful against the man that didn’t fulfill the fantasy.

This is also why divorce is usually very toxic.

Loud_Read1414 · 2022-10-16T02:24:41+00:00

Women's love and respect for men is highly conditional. You make her life exceptionally more interesting and meaningful than the next guy or you're out. Men love women because well... women are just lovely as they are.

It's much more tricky for a man to keep a woman interested than vice versa.

the-lone-squid · 2022-10-16T02:34:48+00:00

Women don’t really like men in general unless the man is something worth bragging about.. but getting married serves them a financial and comfort purpose.

Once that purpose is no longer needed they bounce

MarkMy_Word · 2022-10-16T09:03:44+00:00

My theory is that women marry a man they don’t find attractive for the resources/finances. Once satisfied, they leave under the guise of “He didn’t make me happy.” Some women aren’t sexually attracted to the man, but they know they don’t want to be alone and need a provider.

My proof is all of these articles women write like Where have the good men Gone? Is Chivalry Dead? Will I Be Alone Because No One is Right for Me?

Most women who write such articles are typically between their mid-late 30s and 40s. I don’t know their past, but this pattern is consistent among women who had “fun” in their early years, and want to settle down after giving their best years to their partners at the time. Some women marry a man that can provide financially, but will accept the tradeoff that he may not be attractive, the sex isn’t good, or any reason to have their lifestyle funded by him. The question “Why marry a man you aren’t attracted too” seems to be a question some women hate being asked, because they know exactly why, and will give a disingenuous answer, or not speak on it.

But hey, its just a theory.

TheDwiin · 2022-10-16T06:38:32+00:00

Because it's socially acceptable for women to give up and find an "upgrade" when their partner upsets them, but when a woman upsets a man by, say, cheating on him with his brother, the man is encouraged to stay in the relationship to figure out what he did wrong to cause her to exhibit that behavior.

Now obviously not everyone thinks this way, but the misandrists who are vocal about it tend to push this.

ABeeBox · 2022-10-16T07:14:49+00:00

This reminds me of a TikTok video : "My hands look like this, so hers would look like that". Showing his hands to be dirty and pretty much fully black, while she has stiletto nails perfectly done. All I can think to myself was, he's working hard to provide for Her, while she's working to provide for her nights out.

It's the day of age where both women and men work, but I don't see the same hardship from women who get handed out jobs and education, and alimony no longer makes sense. The boyfriend was a stubborn child in the comments so it's pretty much his own funeral. Someone suggested he should wear gloves and he replied "I can just wash them off in hot water". To me, that said just about enough about him to understand his flawed short-sightedness.

Good luck to him. I think in a relationship, both partners should be putting in to about the same effort into the relationship. If she has a job but demands "financial support" to get her nails done, I'm confident that she'll also the be same type to divorce you for all you got.

So to answer your question, most men have remained traditional while most women have become progressive (men are told to remain traditional). Marriage is no longer symbolic of commitment and love, it's about status and showing off to her friends. Weddings have become "the bride's day", no longer the groom's. In sickness and in health, but as soon as you fall on hard times, she will divorce your ass for whatever you have left. This isn't all women, but I've noticed it become increasingly common. She has nothing to lose, but so much to gain in a divorce, while a man can only ever lose.

If men weren't at risk of losing assets, had a fair chance of gaining custody of their children, and weren't shamed for being victims of domestic abuse, or leaving their partner, We would almost have 50-50 in who initiated divorce.

LegatoBluenippos · 2022-10-16T07:18:38+00:00

When I was a kid my stepmother divorced my father after creating a large amount of debt. She convinced my father to buy her a fancy car right before she wanted a divorce saying she'll take the car and my dad keeps the debt. She also reminded him she could make him sell the house leaving him and us homeless

Ok-Translator2294 · 2022-10-16T08:54:56+00:00

I guess if we removed the financial benefits of a divorce, that number would be way lower

twisty286 · 2022-10-16T04:20:03+00:00

gay men are happier together, and women often get the sympathy of the courts, as well as all the money

bigelow6698 · 2022-10-16T02:13:02+00:00

Common sense dictates that a divorce proceeding should offer an advantage to the partner who did NOT initiate the divorce.

MisterBowTies · 2022-10-16T05:52:49+00:00

The most interesting statistic is that 100% of lesbian divorces are initiated by women. /s

2022-10-16T15:38:15+00:00

Many women aren’t raised to be resilient in the face of adversity. This is why choosing to divorce is easier for them.

More women today are educated, financially independent, and secular which negates the point of marriage. They don’t need to marry men.

They usually come out financially ahead and with more child custody on average.

Women have access to social media where every actor, entertainer, rapper, or fucking anyone can have access to her for free, anytime and anywhere.

mikesteane · 2022-10-16T02:56:13+00:00

Out of the blue I heard “I’m re-evaluating my life choices.” Which was actually code for being a SAHM isn’t what she wanted because she sees all her friends from High School doing really cool and interesting things on Facebook. I have my kids half time shared custody (every other week for the whole week), and I recovered fairly quickly from the financial setback ( likely because she got bad advice) .

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-10-16T07:40:05+00:00

watch the documentary divorce corp. It has most answers.

want-to-say-this · 2022-10-16T11:58:51+00:00

Society is built to support womens emotional needs. If she is upset he must have done something. My wife is mad I’m not working three jobs hard enough right now. She wants more production out of me. So she is mad and calls me lazy. I get mad cause I’m exhausted. Both are my fault. So she wants a divorce cause from her side I’m mad cause she got mad cause I’m lazy. Why would she stay hahaha. It’s lose lose

PrimordialXY · 2022-10-16T05:34:11+00:00

The average guy will get maybe 3-5 matches per week on a dating app. The average woman could get that per hour. Logic dictates that the sheer amount of options for women will make them less inclined to having to settle for boring, unfulfilling relationships. Further taking into account that most of the men I know self-castrate and get 'comfortable' (lazy) after marriage and suddenly men getting blindsided by divorce isn't that surprising.

aBlackKing · 2022-10-16T05:51:45+00:00

If there’s the monetary incentive to do so, they’ll do it.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2022-10-16T02:45:52+00:00

Economics and the empathy bias.

3G6A5W338E · 2022-10-16T08:12:41+00:00

Time to cash out!

The_Banana_Monk · 2022-10-16T10:06:00+00:00

Men are less likely to give a shit about what is upsetting them

needalife94 · 2022-10-16T11:29:32+00:00

One reason I think this happens , it applies to both genders , is because once one is married they stop trying because the goal has been achieved and they don't realise marriage is work. They don't want to be a good wife / husband. They just want to title.

duckyboys8 · 2022-10-16T11:45:51+00:00

Because women get bored and it's easier for them to find another husband.........not to mention gov incentives

Black-Patrick · 2022-10-16T13:23:20+00:00

Promiscuity before marriage seems to be a correlated sliding scale. The more sexual partners a woman has before marriage, the less likely the woman will be to claim that she is happy in her marriage. On some level, the likelihood that a woman’s spouse compares favorably to her failed romantic endeavors decreases the more men there are to compare. Also it’s roughly 20% of men that are sleeping with the vast majority of women and men that are considered high value on the sexual market that have no intention of marrying or making a commitment to these women that are willing to throw themselves at them tend to become the point of contention between what an individual woman believes they deserve verses the type of man that would actually be willing to commit to her. The woman realizes they may have overshot the mark, but ego culture and brainwashing gives them an entitlement complex that prevents them from seeing ‘settling’ as deserved or acceptable. The way out of that dissatisfying situation is subsidized to the level of incentive, and ultimately it creates unstable people with narcissistic separated parents that are easier to predict and control. The strong family is a threat to the wizard behind whatever curtain that is pushing this agenda. I hate this type of sociological generalization because it’s so easy to highjack with bullshit. That’s my two cents, take it or leave it and I wish you all the best, brothers.

GreatGrizzly · 2022-10-16T14:55:10+00:00

My mom stole almost everything from my dad during the divorce. Just to be even more of a jerk to him she packed up, sold the house that she received from dad, and moved to another state taking us with her.

Divorce overwhelmingly favors the woman in virtually every possible way. Everything to gain and nothing to lose. They don't even have to look for a new partner... Society has conditioned men to do all the work in seeking them out.

kinhk · 2022-10-16T22:06:39+00:00

I've come to the realization that women are never really satisfied no matter what you do. Not to mention divorce usually benefits them.

chadgrover83 · 2022-10-16T04:29:13+00:00

As long as we keep laying down and taking it in the ass it's just going to get worse. Nothing is going to change until men stop internalizing there anger and are willing to be the bad guy and take one for the team. That's how inequality is changed. And we need to stop playing save-a-hoe. If her mom is on her third marriage don't let her move in and for the love of God don't cum in her baby maker. They ALWAYS say they will never become her mom but around 30-35 she's the spitting image and proud of it.

BlowDryerrr · 2022-10-16T04:56:36+00:00

Hivemind told her she deserves to live her best life, see what the world has to offer, and having a hardworking husband and a 1 year old child ain't it.

equalRights111 · 2022-10-16T06:13:48+00:00

I think one of the reasons is that women tend to complain more about their current situation. This is a common thing throughout history. For instance, men are often annoyed because their wife is ‘nagging’ them or whatever.

As a man, if I have a wife and a home, I’ll be pretty happy. But women often seem unhappy regardless of their current situation. Always striving to improve their social situation. This could be an evolutionary thing, but I’m not sure exactly.

Beginning-Bluebird22 · 2022-10-16T08:51:26+00:00

a) more to gain and less to lose b) biologically are built to secure the best provider for their children aka climb the ladder c) are less tolerant than men d) will be empathised with rather than told “you should’ve tried to make it work mate ect”

StingRayFins · 2022-10-16T13:52:17+00:00

It's not really theories but actual facts. People have talked about this and studies have shown this.

No fault divorce. Remove shame and accountability.
Dating apps. Unlimited options to practice hypergamy.
Child support and alimony. Women are quite frankly paid and rewarded for leaving.
This last one is my personal opinion, men aren't allowed to lead or protect their relationships. Women are allowed to act single whether they have a boyfriend or husband.

They can dress like they're single, go out like they're single, flirt like they're single, and hang out with other men like they're single. Men aren't allowed to say "no" to any of that because society will collectively shame them, call them insecure, call them controlling, abusive, misogynistic, etc.

All four of these combined result in a shit show of what we're seeing now.

KVKS03 · 2022-10-16T02:39:22+00:00

Personally, I asked for a divorce because my husband was more interested in hanging out at the local honky tonk and screwing other women than he was being a husband to me or a father to our kids.

ANUS_CONE · 2022-10-16T02:56:04+00:00

They have a lot less to lose because they are systemically favored in divorce and family court.

EvidencePlz · 2022-10-16T03:32:19+00:00

This is a must-watch video from JustPearlyThings for OP and everyone else. Don't skip it!

Title: Men are NOT INTERESTED in Modern Women

https://youtu.be/3ynMtBe8aL8

Regular-Loser-569 · 2022-10-16T01:56:08+00:00

Many theories can be proposed.

marriage benefits men more than women, so men are less likely to initiate divorce
divorce benefits women more than men
men are more tolerant to abuse
men are more likely to abuse their wife
women are more likely to be encouraged to divorce

whether these are true or not requires more evidences and research.

Planimation4life · 2022-10-16T04:14:05+00:00

Simple reason is because women just want to leave the man for something better, women i believe always want to date/marry higher up.

I believe men should always push to improve themselves even when married, women i believe leave because they don't find you attractive no more. When men get married a lot don't try to improve themselves i.e get better jobs, earn more money. However as men we have to be careful who we pick because they could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. The court system isn't fair to men, to be honest if the house was always under my name i'll sell the house exchange the money for bitcoin

craigske · 2022-10-16T04:54:08+00:00

They have much more to gain.

adam-l · 2022-10-16T11:02:21+00:00

You are supposing that women are capable of the same kind of love with men, i.e. sacrificial love. Evolution doesn't work this way. Females are programmed to acquire resources (back in the evolutionary era these were supposedly redirected towards their kids after the man left).

So now they are doing what they are programmed to do. As soon as they acquire the resources, sponsored by law this time, they work the ~~workhorse~~ husband as much as he can go, then leave him for greener pastures.

Doesn't it damage the kids? Of course, today it does. But their evolved brain still lives in the lithic era, and works for the time when it was programmed.

Your_Agenda_Sucks · 2022-10-16T03:18:57+00:00

There are no social or legal ramifications for breaking a promise, especially if you are a woman?

I don't believe in marriage personally, but if YOU do, then this statistic should offend you.

eatforlife · 2022-10-16T02:54:52+00:00

Guys can put up with more shit.

B_P_G · 2022-10-16T04:57:43+00:00

They pretty much always get the kids (and a fat child support payment). If a guy wants to see his kids more than a weekend or two each month then he may want to stay married as long as possible.

Beneficial-Tomato-99 · 2022-10-16T05:59:47+00:00

Revenue?

zogins · 2022-10-16T09:36:52+00:00

What!? 30% of divorces are initiated by men?! /s

DarkAeonX7 · 2022-10-16T09:54:57+00:00

I think a lot of people get in relationships for the wrong reason. They may think it's love and it's really just then stuffing down internal issues with a nice relationship that feels better for the time being. After a while, problems begin to show. This happens on both sides, but I think men might check out a lot earlier.

Quite frankly, there is a shocking majority of men that just aren't worth it. People start to notice that they are settling rather than striving for true compassion and love. So then they leave because they feel that they deserve it.

Relationships take care. Some people treat marriages like they've sealed the deal so it doesn't really matter how they treat the relationship anymore.

There's many other factors and this is just my observation and I could just be seeing a small section and thinking it's bigger

CentralAdmin · 2022-10-16T09:55:23+00:00

The women say it's because the paperwork and admin falls on them so they usually will do the filing.

Anyone have a counter to this?

63daddy · 2022-10-16T11:34:28+00:00

People act on incentive. Women are typically awarded half a man’s wealth. Often they get alimony as well.

IronJohnMRA · 2022-10-16T12:09:27+00:00

while gay men tend to often have the lowest.

Interesting. I had no idea. Do you have a source ready please?

2022-10-16T12:15:22+00:00

I had a friend many years ago which got a divorce from his wife he basically lost anything just about including his job,house kids and car and this was because she was not happy and he did everything for her and she was still cheating on himself for years.Safe to say I tried to help him after this breakup but sadly one night he went out found a tall tree and hanged himself. I had a similar experience with my divorce lost my job, house all my money just about.I did get my car but was homeless in it for a while before my parents saved me from the streets.Safe to say I will NOT trust a women again.Marriage is a jail sentence for men on bail.

mattmilli0pics · 2022-10-16T14:17:38+00:00

Lack of morals. Ready to abandon their vows at any moment.

timeslidesRD · 2022-10-16T23:30:08+00:00

Because women know they will be favoured through it.

strange-gamer20xx · 2022-10-17T01:06:27+00:00

The Feminist movement encourages women to break marriages and divorce for the wrong reasons.

Still-Association-52 · 2022-10-17T17:32:28+00:00

Gay men have the lowest rates. Gay women have the highest.

Guess what factor leads to higher divorce?

Adding women to a relationship increases the chance of divorce.

SpecialCay87 · 2022-10-21T13:42:18+00:00

I’ve dated one wealthy older woman and when I mentioned marriage to her she laughed so hard directly in my face.

Many_Temperature2116 · 2022-11-02T19:49:24+00:00

M O N E Y

Caradoc-of-Belgium · 2022-11-05T07:07:06+00:00

This is the exact reason that I will never in my life marry an atheist. Marriage is nothing more than a document and a tax cut for them.

titanicboi1 · 2022-10-16T02:57:32+00:00

Ez A we are very bad picking women (some of us be desperate for pus**) B Women just are mid now days

Southwestern-delight · 2022-10-16T03:52:18+00:00

Food for thought here- thanks for the probing questions. In the middle of a patch and it’s all her threats, not one negative sentiments from my end as it never crossed my mind with two young daughters. I’ve been kicked in the nuts, bloody nose and verbal abuse ect. While making all the money while working at home, getting my kids up for and down for school. She likes to over decorate the home, pick her face, nails-hair and shop for clothes on shein. I do all the cookingand grocery shopping. The Queen b philosophy does not work in real life with all that comes at adults/parents. Sad and unfortunate because I have to shut off and protect my girls in biting the bullet and showing respect.

TAPriceCTR · 2022-10-16T04:19:31+00:00

Women are inherently less committed (men more prone to avoiding commitment, but when they commit, they are more likely to stick to it) this is not only in marriage, but in other interpersonal and business relationships and even community and national identity.

feminism creates a positive feedback loop with this making them no longer even think commitment is a virtue. the behaviors feminists laud in women are psychopathy when men act in accordance with them. women are told "find your happy" while men are told to "man up". these 2 social sentiments alone, when prevalent, will create a disparity in commitment.

John2H · 2022-10-16T06:26:50+00:00

There is a financial incentive to do so.

With divorce often being the "golden ticket" that allows women to have both the money and freedom, its honestly surprising that divorce rates arent even higher.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-10-16T02:47:14+00:00

Could be many reasons. They have more options so maybe feel safer in ending things. Maybe women discover themselves sooner where it takes men longer so they're the first ones to realize that things aren't working out. Maybe men put up with more before deciding to pull the plug.

It's hard to tell without examining a large samples size.

hear2think · 2022-10-16T03:44:25+00:00

They finally realize they can not control and or change who they Husband and instead of changing themselves, they take the easy way out.

chr8me · 2022-10-16T06:57:00+00:00

Fellas. I will NEVER get married. Every women in my life who has gotten a divorce has at some point initiated it, by their activities forcing the man to file or they file themselves. Marriage is a SCAM! I will not indulge

Mindless-Spare-2454 · 2022-10-16T07:12:03+00:00

Internalised unhappiness, teamed with dating apps & social media.

Let me preface this by saying 1st wave feminism wasn’t what it’s been made out to be. The idea is great and I stand by it, equality for the sexes however you’d class it more as egalitarianism. However first wave feminism wasn’t equality, it was class equality. In the Uk suffragettes we’re middle class white women fighting for their right to vote. They didn’t want poorer women or poorer men to vote, just them. What history doesn’t tell you is when the suffragettes got the vote, women under 21 couldn’t vote, men under 21 who didn’t have their own home couldn’t vote & married poor couples still couldn’t vote.

In the preceding 100+ years, women have been lied to. By the government & other women, this idea that they can have everything and be happy. The most unhappy demographic of people in western society is career women over the age of 35. Usually they are divorced or still single, the happiest demographic are married couples with distinguished roles. Breadwinner/housewife. We are also seeing a rise in bread winner/house husband as this is something men have never been involved in. A lot of career men are now deciding to put their careers in the bin and become househusbands, the over whelming majority are claiming it to be the easiest job they’ve ever had.

So women who divorce are usually career driven mothers. They still want to be a mother & hold down a career, they also chastise & ridicule their husbands leaving their self esteem in the toilet. Which means they no longer find their partner attractive, leading them to assuming the grass is greener and going to dating apps. Which ends up to them becoming part of the unhappy demographic, as after 32 & 1 or 2 kids a woman’s value to men drops massively.

What’s the easiest way to get more money for a country. Take the half of the population that doesn’t work and look after households, tell them they can be happy and just like men. Then tell them that if they divorce they will still be supported by the husband they are divorcing. So there isn’t a worry about going out to work and creating more tax for the countries.

If women and men were just honest with themselves, divorces would plummet. Get rid of dating apps, take away this notion that having it all is easy and not entirely hard (I’m a career man and I know I cannot raise a family, thankfully I don’t want children) and start thinking about what you really want in this life.

Guinnessron · 2022-10-16T10:47:06+00:00

Men are only loved for what they can provide. You fall on hard times, she will leave.

Wafflebot17 · 2022-10-16T13:02:12+00:00

2 big ones

Some women don’t want marriages they want weddings. They love romance and being the center of attention but when life punches them in the face they don’t want to stay and work through things.
Men who get complacent and expect women to be ok with them just contributing a paycheck and not pulling weight in other areas.

fuglyashell · 2022-10-16T06:27:52+00:00

You have to realise modern women, if they ever do get married, do it in order to get divorced. They almost never marry their first choice but, some beta they covertly despise and then later despise overtly. It is all part of the plan. It’s an open secret amongst the “ladies”

Top_Professional4545 · 2022-10-16T05:48:26+00:00

I can tell you exactly why. When It comes down to all that bs women say like " I wanna build together" " we'll build an empire" is straight outta their ass. It's all about them in every situation for example everyone can go look at the surviving infidelity sub an majority of all divorcees or married women looking for advice that have children NEVER ask what's in the best interest of my kids..... An if you ask why they don't it's crickets. It's all about them how they feel regardless if it effects even the thing they love most in the world .... The kids. Men are expected to make real sacrifices an women are only expected to make superficial sacrifices. NONE of em take accountability for anything at all. Marriage has totally changed from when I was a kid hell the brides father dont even pay for the wedding anymore. I'm not into marriage due to thinking logically about the state of marriage, court system today and on the backend I'm not even religious so I'm not getting married because of that. Only way I would get married is if the woman and I were being financially strategic but even that don't make any sense today for most people. Don't do it today it's just a peice of paper opening you up to being in court fighting over your assets income and kids if your girl wants a wedding have a symbolic wedding and a 250$ ring an if she ever go get it tested act like you got robbed

ReWildingOfMen · 2022-10-16T06:32:45+00:00

Well firstly I think it's worth mentioning that in most relationships there isn't abuse. Or the traditional trope of 'abusive husband' at least.

There ARE plenty of abusive and TERRIBLE men out there. Abusers who are adept at luring in and trapping women to suffer abuse and unhealthy control.

Such so called men need to be broken again and again... Like one would a stick.

BUT such men ARE a minority. Very much so, despite how the popular narratives likes to try and portray things.

So for the vast majority. Of this 70% of wife initiated divorce (rising to 80% if university educated?)

Well is largely due to feminism and it's messaging. Is largely due to narcissistic creep with so many of our women folk. The single biggest cause is women thinking they can do better, or not being faithful, or not honouring their vows.

Many women through Zee agenda. Have exorcised their femine nature, instead embodying an unhealthy form of masculinity... Becoming incredibly selfish and controlling.

Ironically such women who divorce for such loose reasons. Rarely end up happier. And end up screwing up their children in the process of their quest for 'true happiness. '

There are obviously other reasons. Unresolved trauma in either party, it being harder for a single income to support a family, financial incentives from the state to be single or to divorce...

And most scary of all... The silent pandemic of covert/vulnerable narcisisist women.... Who seek to destroy men. Who intentionally leave their men after covertly abusing them for years, leaving them vulnerable and broken, that often results in the man taking his own life, his heart and dreams of a united family broken, impoverished, isolated, his children stolen from him, his reputation ruined by false allegations... (A form of murder that leaves no sign)

I have had another friend of a friend kill himself due to such covert machinations of his woman who left him. May he rest in peace.

And these are the reasons by my reckoning. Off the top of my head.

UnfurtletDawn · 2022-10-16T02:44:06+00:00

Well there are many.

1# better response when woman are in abusive relationship aka men more likely to remain in it

2# there are services to help women go through divorce, there are some for men too but more for women, so it's easier for women to go through divorce

3# I would say men are more likely to think there isn't anyone else so stick up with this person.

Like there are many ways it can be done.

greatjobmatt · 2022-10-16T04:30:07+00:00

In my case I would add to the female percentage, but I requested the divorce as the male. She's just better with paperwork and government documents. I wonder how often that happens.

amazinglyaloneracist · 2022-10-16T05:54:53+00:00

The cause is women

LadyNCO · 2022-10-16T13:20:00+00:00

I initiated my divorce in 2006. My was-band was not shy about his cheating, he had 3 affairs that I know about, sent gifts using our joint account. I knew that he was having sex, just knew that it wasn't with me.

WREN-n-RONAN · 2022-11-28T21:15:33+00:00

When I cried about my childhood abuse, he said I was “so depressing”. That’s what made me decide once and for all

2022-10-16T06:45:19+00:00

Because women are legally encouraged and supported for a mans wealth and soul. All they need to do is marry them

peteypete78 · 2022-10-16T08:11:08+00:00

Because women get bored.

We are not a monogamous species, more like a serial monogamous species.

Traveler_8 · 2022-10-16T11:53:47+00:00

Why not read the article from the study this statistic came from?

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220511-why-women-file-for-divorce-more-than-men

There are more articles out there.

gafgone5 · 2022-10-16T09:40:28+00:00

It's usually a closing financial window, like with Gisele and Tom Brady. She's pulling the trigger now while he still HAS a job. If she waited until he retired she'd get squat compared to now. Even though her net worth is higher anyway....

Nixthebitx · 2022-10-16T12:12:13+00:00

I know there are many other reasons that contribute to divorce more than this one probably but I think spousal neglect is also a leading cause. I think this reasoning can be applied across the board for women and men

Whether that neglect be in the form of not actually engaging in the relationship anymore or when work is needed on issues, or the lack of engagement in intimacy between the two (any form of intimacy, not just sex) has been ongoing, and, lastly, both being fed up with communication barriers/breakdowns.

Especially if these things are combined, couples are completely disconnected. From there on out, it's easier for someone to cheat, look for another with more money to make financial struggles easier, or to pursue a life alone because they'd be happier, etc.

helicpterejectorseat · 2022-10-16T17:15:06+00:00

Most of the time it's because they fall out of love. 'like 2 ships in the night passing by', which is what all marriages are like, marriages are way too highly romanticised in the media.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-10-16T19:12:15+00:00

Women tend to follow through with the filing process of obtaining a lawyer. The tedious tasks in life. Follow through.

bluehorserunning · 2022-10-16T10:05:23+00:00

Because she realizes that her life sucks and she'd have more free time with one fewer child in the house.

Altruistic_Mud7925 · 2022-10-16T04:52:17+00:00

This is simple, men are just more complacent in bad marriages where women are just more likely to pull the plug . The person pulling the plug shouldn't really be the place of focus but it's ultimately what led to the bad marriage.

Also if more men were open like the man in the link women wouldn't realize later on they married a guy they didn't want to be with.

https://www.reddit.com/r/NotHowGirlsWork/comments/y4uzbh/wow_hes_honest_but_imagine_badgering_a_woman/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Doctor_Lodewel · 2022-10-16T10:23:36+00:00

Because men often forget the emotional part of a relationship and women get tired of asking for it. It has almost never to do with money. A lot of women are ruined bc of the divorce, at least where I live, bc our laws are not that the woman just gets half.

lauraakabeibi · 2022-10-16T07:52:11+00:00

I know we're on AskMen but I really did not expect the answers to be so misogynistic. I'm very glad none of you are in my life. And saddened that I haven't even found one comment which called bullsh*t on your "woe is me" woman blaming. Hope your expectations get proven wrong.

Quantum-Carrot · 2022-10-16T05:32:39+00:00

Have we asked them?

Albertsongman · 2022-10-16T11:06:09+00:00

We want prenup!!

thoh_motif · 2022-10-16T11:53:28+00:00

Post nut clarity

evilcr · 2022-10-16T12:10:24+00:00

Society favors women and children. Women usually have a higher emotional intelligence than men. Which most use to, among other things, plan well in advance for the split.

sharksville · 2022-10-16T12:17:06+00:00

I think that it’s because of society. It’s quite common to find a common person in society who’s brain is already wired to think men are the problem and that never can the woman be the problem.

ebony-mori · 2022-10-16T12:20:18+00:00

There’s a big range of factors.

I think women have potentially less to lose than men, especially when children are involved. Courts favour women in child custody and child support, so the man could risk losing a lot by divorcing her.

Men are shown to be emotionally worse off after a divorce, so any close friendships with a struggling divorcee could put them off filing for one. Women also tend to have more close friends than them, so they will receive more support regarding marital issues and as a result, be more likely to leave the unhappy marriage.

Women tend to gain less emotional benefits in marriage than men. They bear the brunt of child raising and household labor, even if they too work full time, which can lead to emotional burnout and resentment toward the partner. Women are also more likely to halt their career to raise children, so again, resent builds there.

Men are also more likely to have an extra marital relations from 30+, so divorce is likely initiated by the women in these situations.

ErrareApusEst · 2022-10-16T12:42:22+00:00

https://youtu.be/a8-vZJNY10k

cuppa_tea_4_me · 2022-10-16T13:08:39+00:00

Because men are more chill

proto-shane · 2022-10-16T13:20:18+00:00

Money

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-10-16T13:43:42+00:00

Hypergamy and a court system that is set up to benefit women in divorce.

Reaper621 · 2022-10-16T13:50:10+00:00

And even my divorce, which was initiated by me, was due to the fact that I'd been married for over a year and she never slept in the same bed as me, and only lived in the same building for 3 weeks. You can hardly pin that on me.

Electrical_Access604 · 2022-10-16T13:59:43+00:00

Many women start thinking of divorce since before marriage. It's already part of the package for them. Marry a guy who's better off than you, make his life miserable, then divorce him and take everything that he owns.

MacinTez · 2022-10-16T14:12:08+00:00

Woman in America are like the Biblical Jews prior to Jesus Ministry.

In the Bible they felt like the Law was the ultimate judge of righteousness, to the point of exploiting loopholes. If the law entitles them to whatever? Then they feel like it’s valid or they deserve so. They would apply the Law and disregard context, using it for power a leverage and if the law didn’t stop them? They feel no wrongdoing.

somethingneet · 2022-10-16T14:13:43+00:00

Because they signed a contract that they're rewarded for breaking

MoneyMattersMore · 2022-10-16T14:20:32+00:00

The answer is provided by Rollo Tomassi from the red pill world

whatislove_official · 2022-10-16T14:51:02+00:00

I've lived in Vietnam which is number 3 on the divorce rates scale.

It's easy to blame women but I really don't think it's that simple. Culturally both men and women in the West don't want to invest in each other like they do in Vietnam. Family is not as important whereas in Vietnam it's the cornerstone of the culture there. Finances and wealth are distributed to the family and shared around. Hoarding wealth is deeply frowned upon. Because of this and the exploding economy, middle class lifestyle is quite achievable there and it doesn't make a lot of sense to get divorced.

There are other issues there - men beat their wives at high rates. So looking to these low divorce rate countries isn't the way out of the problem.

But valuing family for both men and women is clearly important. The erosion of putting value in relationships, communities and family is what's hurting the West especially in a bad economy. You can see similar issues in places that adopt American values, like South Korea for example.

Gotmetheus · 2022-10-16T14:58:29+00:00

💰💰💰

chiyukichan · 2022-10-16T15:44:42+00:00

I'm a divorced and remarried woman. I would say the divorce happened because we had an unrealistic expectation of marriage where the other person was supposed to be best friend and lover and provide any and all emotional support you need. His family also had generations of untreated bipolar and by the time we realized with him he had been too emotionally abusive to me to forgive/trust him. It was only to me, though, and not to anyone else he cared about. It was always said in private.

I am remarried to a man who understands I need friends and family as part of my social support and encourages me to maintain those relationships. We have time together and time apart. We also have more traditional roles where I feel the power dynamic is slightly heavier on his side for finances and major responsibilities while I do more childcare which doesn't bother me. We both have firm boundaries and I went to a lot of therapy to have a healthier understanding of relationships.

In general I think a lot of people are not modeled healthy relationships and maybe men are more willing to suffer in them than women are, hence women filing for divorce. For my divorce, we did a poor divorce. Filed papers ourselves and didn't really try to take anything the other person had. When I got remarried I asked if he wanted a prenup because I knew he had more assets than I do. He said no because he knows I don't believe in taking things that aren't actually mine.

BB_the_Dweeb · 2022-10-16T16:01:30+00:00

Women live through the social media facades of others’ relationships. They don’t compare their marriage to real life.

RifleShower · 2022-10-16T16:04:02+00:00

Because women have everything to gain from divorce, whereas men have everything to lose.

Strontium_9T · 2022-10-16T16:18:23+00:00

Because they’re “not happy”. And divorce nearly always goes in their favor.

bubbashrimp_ · 2022-10-16T16:48:08+00:00

Because women will check out emotionally long before they tell their husband. They will slowly get attention from other men and build their confidence then when they feel its time they just tell men to leave or they just leave. So its not as hard for them because women will not communicate when it comes to this topic.

Jakeytanky · 2022-10-16T16:58:29+00:00

a small factor is that men cheat more, it makes sense we do have a higher sex drive

im not saying its the entire reason but maybe like 5 percent of that 70 is because of a higher cheating rate

traveller1976 · 2022-10-16T17:33:29+00:00

Because they've been told to demand more and more. They think a line of 6 figures 6 feet 6 pack guys are waiting to fuck them the moment they divorce.

Because divorce court grants them divorce like McDonald's sells burgers. And they get to fleece and financially rape their husband without consequences.

Until men stop playing this fucking game, nothing will change. Men need to be very careful with their time, money and sperm.

slipkit98 · 2022-10-16T18:31:42+00:00

They have the next guy lined up and don’t want the current guy anymore

Anih1list · 2022-10-16T18:40:33+00:00

Apparently surveys find men are generally “very happy” with their relationships while women are on average “satisfied”. Men just put a lot more into the process of courting a mate they find ideal, while women can only select from the guys who express interest. Men call this “gynocentrism” while feminists call it “patriarchy” or “toxic masculinity” but if you really think about it neither side has it better.

Tinkoo17 · 2022-10-16T18:44:38+00:00

It’s a scam really. Divorce is a get-rich-quick scheme part planned before the wedding. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll just walk out and still be better off financially than before…”

rahsoft · 2022-10-16T19:30:17+00:00

Interestingly enough lesbians tend to have similar problems and seem
to suffer from an extremely high divorce rate in almost every country
while gay men tend to often have the lowest. What’s the cause?

Look at the (Pew?) research about the prevalence of Domestic Abuse/Violence among hetro, gay and lesbian relationships, can you see the same pattern as you have just described?

Also laws which incentivize one gender over the other( eg there is money/assets/resource etc involved) which is then promulgated through various lobbyists, NGOs, lawyers etc all with their own agenda.

and you wonder why so many people( including children) get badly hurt( some to the point of ending their lives).

remove that ability / financial incentive and I think you will find that divorce rates will stabilise( they wont end) but they will be a lot less expensive and disruptive to society.

blipblopboop16 · 2022-10-16T20:00:16+00:00

Despite agreeing with what has been said in this thread there's another theory I like.

In Mad Men, one of the character, Joan, said that men don't take time to leave women, they just ignore them and give them less and less attention until they break up.

Immediate-Machine-18 · 2022-10-16T20:07:06+00:00

Women have to work and do the majority of child rearing.

McSmarfy · 2022-10-16T20:37:08+00:00

-I want alimony, Mr Money Machine. I married you just so I could get free money.

-I never loved you, but I tricked you into having a kid so I could divorce you and get child support and SNAP and WICC and other gibs. I want to be the head of my house and get free money from everyone and everywhere. See my rotten welfare babies?

-I'm crazy and can't be content with anyone or anything for long (not just a female thing, but happens far less with men). I don't take the pills my doctor said I should take.

-I'm crazy and, well, just crazy. I don't even know why I'm doing things. But everything is about me and that's why the sun rises every morning. I probably don't even see a doctor or probably lie and say everything is fine when I do.

-I can't think for myself and bought into the feminism bullshit. Fuck men and fuck the patriarchy.

-This guy is a piece of shit. I either didn't see the red flags or didn't think they were this important.

-I'm unfaithful and feel bad about it so let's divorce so I feel better about being the wore of Babylon.

-Money problems. I can be present for the good times, but I'm out when the bad times come.

Welcome_to_da_gulag · 2022-10-16T20:44:31+00:00

Money.

capitanMorgan89 · 2022-10-16T21:35:45+00:00

Because they were plugged into the matrix and were fooled by hypergamy.

musthavebeenit · 2022-10-16T22:11:05+00:00

From experience, in my case and cases of family and friends, the man was either abusive, or wanted to get divorced or was seeing someone else, but would not put the effort into getting divorced or would not/could not pay for it. My ex husband was in another country having a baby with someone else by the time I was able to divorce him. My dad was living with another woman when my mum initiated divorce. It would depend what country/demographic you're looking at, there would be many different percentages of reasons, but a big reason can be mistreatment. A man may be happy to stay in a marriage where he is getting what he wants, even if it's making the woman miserable (and vice versa).

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2022-10-17T00:28:37+00:00

For one, women usually end up on top in divorce. They usually get the house and the kids, along with child support, possibly alimony, and usually get a more favorable share of the marital assets.

Secondly, they simply have too much choice at the tip of their fingers thanks to smartphones, social media, and dating apps. Women will always want the bigger better deal. A woman will only be faithful to a man if she beleives he is the best man she can get. But there will always be guys more handsome, taller, wealthier, and higher status. With the internet, wives and other men will always have access to each other. It's just too easy for them to be tempted and too easy to cheat. A study showed that over half of women in committed relationships had at least one backup guy that they have chosen to move on to if they decide to leave their relationship.

Third, divorce and promiscuity are no longer shamed in modern western society. Also, feminism encourages women to wreck their families. If a woman says anything negative about her husband, or expresses any unhappiness, she will have a legion of female friends and relatives saying "leave his ass", "you deserve better", "you can do better" etc. So these women no longer have any incentive to work through marital problems. Vows mean nothing to them.

ChadWolf98 · 2022-10-17T01:19:44+00:00

Women benefit from divorce much more even if the marriage is good.

Meanwhile most men can expect monetary losses so they probably divorce as a last option

Tank734 · 2022-10-17T07:24:14+00:00

Probably cuz women are less likely to suppress their emotions and break it off when they truly feel like the marriage can no longer be saved. Whereas lots of guys will sit through loveless marriages because they think it’s the “masculine ” thing to do

Fausty79 · 2022-10-17T11:55:30+00:00

Because when men “quiet quit” a marriage, women walk away.

Just staying is not enough for women, and unhappy men are either distant, passive aggressive, or straight up abusive. Women are more likely to take action when they find their relationship in this state because they are also far more likely to receive support when that’s what they are experiencing vs. men who experience the same from their partner.

I think that come from the fact that for ages, if a woman left a man, he must have really messed up because up until about 40-50 years ago, a woman leaving a man generally meant she was choosing to be basically destitute. That’s not so much the case anymore. But in a marriage, if a woman is unhappy, it’s generally assumed it’s because her husband isn’t doing something right, and if a man is unhappy in a marriage it’s because he hasn’t made his wife happy so that she makes him happy, so still his fault. It’s a bit ridiculous.

ZekalMacabre · 2022-10-17T17:04:48+00:00

Because they are always looking for an "upgrade" or someone "better".

Loser-Alex-YT · 2022-10-19T03:24:54+00:00

if i had to guess it’s because divorce has a lot less negative effects to a woman than a man

NeoVidia · 2022-10-19T14:22:05+00:00

Power, this would be a lot more 50/50 if men knew the process was fair. It seems like people think men are that much different than woman, we’re not. We too are emotional beings, but it is safer to be abused in a bad marriage than be potentially homeless and condemned.

Title	Around 70% of divorces are initiated by women, what are some of your theories as to why that is?
Author	AyowhatsgoodG
Upvotes	605
Comments	484
Date	October 16, 2022 1:47 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/y54jwj/around_70_of_divorces_are_initiated_by_women_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/around-70-of-divorces-are-initiated-by-women-what.1135469 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135469