Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope With Being Cast as Predators

kthakore · 2010-03-01T15:48:38+00:00

It is a TRAP! Never be alone with a kid. NEVER.

personsaddress · 2010-03-01T16:48:17+00:00

A1 Double Plus Good!

I had always adored children, even as a child myself. When I was just a 17 year old I learned that I was going to be unable to work with children, because I was discriminated against.

I really like how my dreams are crushed just because I'm a guy, then people tell me that I'm in a better societal position than they are.

EatSleepJeep · 2010-03-01T21:15:35+00:00

I just discovered this subreddit and want to chime in. I'm a 25 year old dude who looks mostly like a 12 year old boy, I just look young, and I'm an avid unicyclist. I feel odd every single time a child smiles at me as I am unicycling out in public simply for this very reason. I fear that when people see me unicycling they think "he's only unicycling to attract children". I don't know why this is, but I feel it. Quite frankly, I don't like children, I think they are annoying and wouldn't spend time with them, but when I see a child smile at me when I'm unicycling I just have to smile back... and then I worry, did someone see me smile? Do they think I am a predator?

I think we just overthink, a lot. I have no experience with anyone ever accusing me of anything. Recently a kid asked me if he could try to ride my unicycle, and I said sure, and in order to help him up I had to support him by holding onto his chest. It didn't occur to me until after, but I could probably never teach that kid how to unicycle one on one out of fear that his parents will decide that I am a creeper. That is just everyone's default thought these days: a guy spending time with a younger kid == creeper.

Just sad.

Fallout911 · 2010-03-01T20:48:08+00:00

It is depressing to read these comments.

windynights · 2010-03-01T22:09:28+00:00

Blame the media. In Australia our shitty newspapers, radio and TV just love putting pedophile stories on the front page to get a reaction from people. I swear our media have become obsessed with reporting this sort of crap.

Yes its terrible, but scaring the crap out of everyone actually affects peoples lives, especially children. They are now kept on the tightest leash possible for fear they will be grabbed. This is going to breed generations of scared, insular and risk averse adults.

THEMACGOD · 2010-03-01T19:02:45+00:00

It's gotten to the point where I kinda feel weird when I'm in the toy section in WalMart trying to find something for my brother's kids (whom I'd rather not spend money on anyway since they have everything under the goddamn sun)...

I know it's not logical to feel this way, especially as a legit toy-buyer, but damn, I'm guilty of being a dude. Stupid penis.

2010-03-02T04:08:57+00:00

Bravo, frickin' Bravo society.

You have done so well eliminating the .001% of bad crap that happens to children, and in doing so, you have eliminated 99.99% of the good stuff.

Rather than society promoting a view that everyone as a suspect, how about we teach everyone not to be a victim instead?

Children are safer today than they have ever been before in history, so why is it people are more afraid than ever about harm to children?

George Carlin said it best....

2010-03-01T22:37:09+00:00

I avoid kids not because I fear being called a great big pedobear, but because kids annoy the living shit out of me.

Offensive_Brute · 2010-03-01T21:47:08+00:00

there are kids out where I walk in the evenings, funny thing about it is, I feel weird, but the kids and their parents couldn't be nicer. The again I also live in a neighborhood where everyone is closely related, and kids play in the road and have BB guns as toys. Its a hold over from when I lived in Massachusetts, in Puerto Rico pedomania is not so out of control.

2010-03-02T13:22:47+00:00

I do not know about elsewhere but here there are many female scout leaders as they can not find enough men. It is sad as males need male role models growing up but I understand why and it is lack of male teachers in the schools too.

My dad died when I was 12 and I loved going to scouts to be around other of my sex and to do and learn 'man things' and I never even thought about them being perverts or anything. But this was before the 'hysteria media and society' of today.

I would of liked helping out with scouts or being a big brother but the way society is today, no thanks. Any male that wants to volunteer with kids or teens is looked at with suspicion these days and all it would take is one vengeful person and your life is over, it is sadly not worth the risk and society will be worse off because of it.

rsho · 2010-03-01T16:06:57+00:00

If you're out and about with your child and your spouse isn't around, there is even more the reason to be vigilante and over protective. Not to downplay the loss of a child or anything but if god forbid something happened the emotional outrage of the spouse and all the repercussions that stem from that can be really severe.

cryptogirl · 2010-03-01T16:48:38+00:00

Good article on a tough issue.

It occurs to me that probably one of the few potentially effective strategies for men to "cope with being cast as predators" would be to rely on heteronormative stereotypes and never go out in public without an adult woman. After all, a nice guy out with his girlfriend/wife/mother/etc. couldn't possibly be one of those evil loner predators, right? I'm no fan of the term, but it's essentially a pussy-pass by proxy :(

Frustratingly, challenging stereotypes is in a lot of ways more difficult than effecting specific policy changes. Any ideas on how to address pedo-hysteria?

EDIT: eliminating public sex offender registries would probably be a good first step.

2010-03-02T04:50:49+00:00

I don't avoid anyone. Screw being afraid.

cujo3017 · 2010-03-02T04:56:02+00:00

If I was a man I'd really be upset about this. People have completely lost their minds.

wil2200 · 2010-03-01T19:35:31+00:00

It's true that men are far more likely than women to be sexual predators Thanks, I feel so much better as a man now

weegee · 2010-03-01T20:16:19+00:00

women are at fault for this. they have all the power in the workplace, and more and more in public. men are the guilty ones, they are the predators, they are the rapists. women are the innocent victims. men need to stand up for their rights in the workplace and in public. we are not rapists or predators. we are fucking innocent man!

SarahC · 2010-03-02T19:09:56+00:00

I wonder what will happen in 20 years when all these kids have grown up? What society will be like?

SarahC · 2010-03-02T19:14:33+00:00

I want to play the devils advocate here...

What if we get even a little stricter with males in society?

What harm would it do to the kids?

Title	Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope With Being Cast as Predators
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	119
Comments	65
Date	March 1, 2010 2:50 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/b7smb/avoiding_kids_how_men_cope_with_being_cast_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/avoiding-kids-how-men-cope-with-being-cast-as.1050556 https://theredarchive.com/post/1050556