~ archived since 2018 ~

"Dating for men is a chore."

August 6, 2021

I don't want a relationship anymore.

156 points72 commentssubmitted by [deleted] to r/rant


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Post Information
Title "Dating for men is a chore."
Author ZS_1171
Upvotes 75
Comments 35
Date August 6, 2021 5:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/MensRights
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Original Link

[–]DavidByron2 52 points53 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

Women have all the power when it comes to dating and they use the power to make men serve their interests. So of course it's a chore. If the sexes were reversed men would be called sexist and insulted to get them to treat women better, but nobody cares about how badly men get treated.

[–]HPUnicorn 29 points30 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

That is for sure, just spend 10 mins on FB and notice all the "If he can't handle me at my worst, he doesn't deserve me at my best" type of posts OR as I have said before

"I fully understand after being on Facebook why women have so many health problems, it must be physically exhausting when you are constantly patting yourself on the back"

[–]ShoutoutsToSimple 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah. There's some woman whose Snapchat I saw on reddit, and she posts her tits (censored) to her story every so often. So occasionally I'll pop in there. But when it's not her tits, it's obnoxious pictures of her face with her eyes in the most exaggerated roll imaginable, with some text saying this kind of thing. Bitching about how all men are terrible, and how there are no good ones, and how none of them deserve her anyway, and so on.

And every time I see one of those, all I can think is, "Yeah, I'm not fucking surprised none of these guys can stand you." Tits only carry you so far when no one can stand to be around you for more than a minute or two.

[–]HPUnicorn 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is a saying I heard a while ago that sticks with me for some reason

"You can take the most beautiful woman in the world and somewhere is a guy who just sick of her shit"

[–]ZS_1171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not always about looks. Actually, it's almost never about looks. Looks are nice, but they wouldn't be enough for me to want to date someone.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Cant date a mentally ill woman. It’ll destroy a man’s well being even though he can manage himself.

[–]you_fuckme_i_fuckyou 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Based on your experience, what subtle red flags you avoid?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

  • The moment she mentions she’s taking medications to treat her mental health.
  • Past relationship abuse that is still carrying onto the current one.
  • Being 50/50 about committing into a relationship like some days she’ll be down for it and other she’ll be back out
  • Seeing a therapist or someone to confide with

These are usually the common red flags, anything that kicks your gut or something off about what they say about themselves may also be a sure sign and its better to ask upfront than wait around to find out.

At the end of the day, a mentally ill person is not capable to be in a relationship. You’ll try to save them but ultimately waste your time and be dragged down to their level and develop problems yourself.

Unfortunately, the term “survival of the fittest” runs true with relationships as well. They need to be able to hold their own before they commit to someone else. Which is common sense but not really common sense.

I hope this is of help along with the others looking for red flags to add on their list.

[–]you_fuckme_i_fuckyou 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh thanks!

That mental health issues, rape, assault you point out are real things. I mean it's not their fault but it's not the responsibility of the guy dating her to help her in this, he can, but it's not a responsibility.

And this "if you can't handle me in worst time....." is also crap.

Unfortunately I've met few men/boys who want to date a girl who has been assaulted, no joke, seriously. They say that they will show the girl what true love is and she will never leave them as they'll take care of her. Maybe they feel more masculine by thinking this, idk, but many men have this feeling.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The more a man gives, the more desperate he will be.

I agree with everything you said. A broken human will take years just to have themselves fully healed an able to try again.

I’ve separated myself from men like that. They’re not gonna fix shit or save shit and even if they do, how are they gonna handle the relapse? How much will they be able to tolerate until enough is enough?

Many men may think but can a man really change the nature and upbringing of a sentient being? Most likely not.

[–]ZS_1171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Geez! Talk about discrimination!

[–]ZS_1171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol. Some women do actually have health problems. But that's also true

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My dear Man you're mostly right, modern women wield considerable and unjustified social and legal power in relationships. But they don't have it all in their control. It's a universal fact that women control access to sex and physical intimacy and Men control access to relationships and commitment. A woman has that 'sexual pass' so to speak and a Man has the 'commitment pass' in this context.

Dear Men be very careful in choosing a modern woman as a partner. When you choose a woman, you make an investment, that's how it's always been and how it will always be in the future. None of you deserve to be disrespected and manipulated and if you're being subjected to any of it, just leave and never look back.

It's immensely better to think beforehand about the kind of woman you're getting close to than much later when you say you want to leave or are leaving and she threatens you with fake 'rape' or 'abuse' complaints to the police or courts. Carefully consider who the other person or there could be terrible consequences if you just commit because of the euphoria of the intense passionate early phase.

[–]Fine_Musician_1016 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Tbh this inequality is probably mostly due to how we evolved. The sex that bears children is more ‘choosy’ with mates and the opposite sex typically has to work harder to impress. For example, male rams fighting each other over females or the fact that the plumage of male birds tend to be much more colourful and extravagant than the females of the same species. Take seahorses for example: since male seahorses are actually the ones that become pregnant, they are the more particular sex and females have to do the extra work to impress.

Since female humans must carry a child within their bodies, which is a very vulnerable position if one is living out in the wild where we evolved, it’s advantageous for women to be more selective in finding the most supportive man than can help her and the child have the best chance at survival.

[–]DavidByron2 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Since female humans must carry a child within their bodies

That's all mammals (well - all placentals - I shouldn't ignore the spiny ant eater and duck-billed platypus I suppose).

Your reasoning is sound if the male screws and leaves, but in fact the human male sticks around for decades so if anything he should be even more picky than the female.

[–]UnconventionalXY 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dating for men is a chore, but so is trying to get laid when women want commitment: it all takes effort, however with dating the objective is to do the hard work at the beginning for easier access to sex later.

What you can't determine is whether your partner will suddenly change when they get the children they want and have you on the hook for support for 18 years regardless of whether you or they stick around and regardless of whether you were the sperm donor.

Then there is the issue of love and the drugging that occurs to encourage you to go through with procreation. At least in a biological sense, men could just leave once it wore off in the past, but society has more hooks at its disposal these days.

[–]Fine_Musician_1016 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My reasoning isn’t my own, it’s that of scientists in the field. There is nothing physically tying a man to the child after sex, and having sex with multiple females without investing resources is a documented reproductive strategy. Human males do not stick around 100% of the time, I’m sure you are aware of this. The woman is picky because she is wanting to get a male that will stick around and provide resources. Also keep in mind that we are talking about during our evolutionary history, the ‘caveman days’ so to speak.

Since you wanted to mention that humans are mammals, I’ll add that you can observe this same behaviour in other mammals as well.

[–]Introvert82 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If most men stopped beeing so desperate, things would look way different. Too bad that's not gonna change anytime soon. It's all supply and demand.

[–]ZS_1171[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]am-well 20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This needs to be upvoted more. It's so true. Dating women is almost 100% not enjoyable. Women do little to nothing to make dating more enjoyable for men, in fact so many profiles are outright anti-effort on the female part. Yet they expect so much out of men in the process, it's exhausting and terrible.

[–]ZS_1171[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! I don't wanna date anyone unless it's mutual. I won't do everything for you if you don't give me some affection in return.

[–]ImportantResults 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/rant.

This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/rant New comments cannot be posted

Mistake: rant while being male.

Join the exodus, escape Reddit's censorship.

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah the number of decent women interested in commitment before they gets close to 30 seems to be dwindling. I’m guessing the few that are there get scooped up and married?

When I was dating 15-20 years ago it was a delicate balance between pursuing just enough and backing off to make her follow (or leave). It’s fine to pursue a little but when it’s only you doing it, it sets up a bad dynamic that will turn her off eventually.

Women instinctively want the strong leader type and to follow him. When they give up on getting a guy like that (often when they see them dating younger women they can no longer compete with) is when they decide they’d rather have a submissive guy than remain single for the rest of their life.

[–]ZS_1171[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm in high school, so if i see a nice woman who actually cares, i assume they have a boyfriend already. Or if they just good looking.

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don’t worry if a woman has a boyfriend or not. I made that mistake at your age. Just watch if they show signs of being interested in you. If so, gather all the confidence you can muster, talk to her for a few minutes, try to get her to smile and laugh. If she still is showing interest, then simply ask for her phone #. If she has a boyfriend she’s happy with, she’ll tell you at that point that she has one. Any response other than getting her number, take that as your cue to move on and forget about her.

Asking her if she has a boyfriend can put her in an awkward position if she does but is ready to move on. It’s common for women to not break up with a boyfriend until they have someone new lined up.

[–]ZS_1171[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok. Thank you for the help!

[–]VisionaryPioneer 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I find it ridiculous when people say bios when they talk about personal information written about people that was written by themselves. Bios are short for biographies. Which biographies are about personal information about people that get written by other people, not themselves. It should be Tinder autobios, not Tinder bios if people don't want to look illiterate.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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