Father's Day - Results from visiting US Senators

From: John Murtari [email protected]

Folks,

Two parents sent me a letter and photo of their kids. I added mine and visited the Syracuse Offices of US Senators Chuck Schumer and Kirstin Gillibrand. I've done this before, both in Syracuse and Washington, D.C. I came away more hopeful than in the past and wanted to share some of my 'lessons learned' from the experience.

1) STICK TO HUMAN/CIVIL RIGHTS: This makes it an action item for them. When we complain about state laws, unfair child support, bad lawyers/judges -- it's easy for them to say go talk to your state legislators...

2) THE RIGHT TO KNOW YOU'RE A PARENT: The real test to see if they value both Mom & Dad in a child's life. Many times we focus on custody or equal parenting, but the discussion gets complex. This keeps it simple and frames it as a fundamental human right -- if they don't think a Father has a right to know, skip the effort on equal parenting. Trying to fix 'child protective services', very hard if they don't see a fundamental right to being a parent.

3) THEY DON'T ALL THINK THE SAME: Because of scheduling I was able to speak to the regional reps of Senators Schumer and Gillibrand at the same time. They were both women about the same age. One of them saw the RIGHT to know you're a parent as fundamental and an issue she would raise with her Senator. The other, not so much, let Mom decide if Dad should know he has a child.

4) A GOOD STORY: Let's face it, most of us didn't care about Family Law till it happened to us (me included). We must make it real to others. I used a news story I recalled from several years ago. A fertility doctor had taken eggs from a friend and placed them in storage (yes, they do keep for years in a freezer). At a later date his next partner was sterile and he decided to use the other women's egg for an 'in vitro' attempt. How would YOU feel if you didn't know?

5) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: I watched them flip through the printed package I gave them. They both spent a lot more time looking at the family photos. We talked about the photo of my son & I -- it makes it real. Link to the package: http://www.AKidsRight.org/actiond_syr/SchumerGillibrandPackage.pdf 6) LEAVE THEM A REQUEST: Both in the cover letter and at the end of our meeting. I did emphasize our desire for a written response from each Senator's office regarding the RIGHT to know you're a parent. I'll be checking in with them on that.

6) WHAT'S NEXT? Your suggestions welcome.

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