From a girl primarily raised by her father: There is nothing wrong with it.

misandry_doesnt_real · 2012-09-13T23:41:01+00:00

It's not fair, and I'm sorry.

Hey, no worries. It's not your fault. Things are also getting better, slowly but surely--father's rights groups can be found all across the world and they're doing a good job so far. You can tell they're effective because the media is trying to demonize them.

truthjusticeca · 2012-09-13T23:35:05+00:00

I am good friends with a woman who was raised primarily by her father and I find that she's easy to get along with and doesn't expect special treatment. She also doesn't have a problem with me speaking my mind about gender issues.

Not making generalizations, just sayin.

nc863id · 2012-09-14T03:23:36+00:00

I work nights from 8:30-5:30, nap with my 16 month-old daughter until she gets up at around 8am. We get up, eat breakfast, run errands, play, and do chores until 2:30pm. Then we walk down the street to the bus stop to get her half-brothers and half-sister home from school. I lay her down to take a nap and help the others with their homework and make dinner. Mom gets home at 5, we tag out and i nap again until 8. I roll out of bed and do it all over again for the past ~12 months.

I'm at work now like a zombie, but the hopes that i have an impact on my daughter the way your father has you, and that she learns that she has to do what she has to do keeps me going.

rightsbot · 2012-09-13T23:24:18+00:00

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wookiez · 2012-09-14T01:05:03+00:00

Yeah, I was raised primarily by my father too. Similar story. My mom was trying to get all kinds of money from him, and we were so broke we stole apples out of orchards for food.

He's the better parent though. My mom was just using court as a way to get my dad's money, and my dad just wanted to take care of me. It all worked out.

2012-09-14T03:08:19+00:00

I'm a lady raised by my dad, too. The custody battle was a no-brainer for the family court system, and he faced few obstacles. My dad may not have been completely sober or mentally balanced, but life with my mom would have been 100x worse.

2012-09-14T05:42:43+00:00

My godfather and his ex got divorced about 10 years ago? He sees his kids (now 13 f and 12 m) every second weekend and has them for a week during the school holidays.

He is AMAZING with his kids. Sits down with them to do homework, cooks healthy meals for them and listens when they have troubles at school.

The Mum? Dumps them at her parents house while she goes out with her girlfriends. Homework is never done and sometimes they don't even go to school!

My godfather is struggling to pay child support (he's 54?) and was hoping to retire soon.

I have no idea how the Mum gained custody of the kids. It pains me to see how hard he works and how well he looks after the kids for it to be wiped away as soon as they get back to the Mum's

BurntPork · 2012-09-14T13:09:16+00:00

Thank you. I can only hope my 17 year old daughter would write something like this someday. My daughter saved me from myself since she was two. I couldn't imagine what life would be like without her.

If you do only one thing for your father, tell him how you feel. It will mean everything in the world to him.

dermanus · 2012-09-14T01:53:56+00:00

I love reading stories like this. It's people like you sharing their stories that really helps what we're trying to do here.

Hopefully we can change things so more young people have the same opportunities with their fathers.

John_Johnson · 2012-09-14T05:58:04+00:00

You don't have to be sorry. Just help us out. Don't stay quiet when you see and hear the stereotypes perpetuated.

I'm a father of three. My wife is in a career that makes a lot more money than I can (as a writer) so we decided together that I'd be doing a lot of "home duties".

Near as I can see, our kids aren't suffering. In fact, they seem to be much better off than most in many ways. But... yeah, there's still the surprise, the guarded looks, the responses from different schools and organisations when I turn up as the representative parent instead of the mother.

I'm not nearly as badly off as some, though -- so as I said: all you have to do is speak up when you hear the bullshit come down. It would be gratefully received.

FireTruth · 2012-09-14T19:42:02+00:00

thank you for suporting eqaul rights...

it is refreshing to see a girl who can both recognize and speak out about the obvious and massive discrimnation men face.

OuiCrudites · 2012-09-14T00:15:24+00:00

Thank you for your kind words.

Please consider sharing your story with people who need to hear it, like Feminists who demonize men and men's groups.

FireTruth · 2012-09-14T09:34:59+00:00

I can relate. I was 17 when my parents split, so really I guess it didn't matter as much as it would for someone who was younger, but I chose to live with my dad, and I get annoyed at how he's seen as irresponsible by default despite the fact that the exact opposite is true.

SilencingNarrative · 2012-09-14T11:58:33+00:00

Thanks for writing that. I get very upset with the clueless dad stereotype and socities preference for mothers over fathers in the courts and it was nice to read your post.

I am curious if you have noticed any personality differences between yourself and most other women that you attribute to having been raised primarily by your dad.

Although my wife is a wonderful mother, my daughter has always been very attached to me and has developed some male sensibilities as a result (although in fairness, my wife also has some male sensibilities, especially her taste in humor, that I have always found especially endearing; my daughter could be getting some of her male quirks from her mom as well).

ToastKing1000 · 2012-09-16T03:02:36+00:00

Irresponsible father

Now I'm thinking Irresponsible Dad from Happy Wheels.

xracquellyy · 2012-09-14T13:39:01+00:00

Initially, I was raised by my mom when my parents separated when I was 12. (I realize that when you are younger, it may have more of an impact, but I still think that it still has an effect). We'd go back and forth 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. Eventually, my mom just for some reason stopped having us visit. (Initially, I wanted to go stay with my dad, but I had no say).

When high school came around, my dad moved to the same city so we could see him more (my mom said it was just to save money on child support, etc. etc.) When I turned 16, I moved in with my dad and did not talk to my mom at all for 2 years even though she attempted, apologized and everything. I eventually gave in when I finished high school.

I talk to her some of the time now. I've moved away for University, finishing up my degree this year. But I guess the whole point of this is, I think my dad raising me (even if it was solely from 16 up til now) made me who I am and I would be better off. He had his moments too though - always negative (as a result of court proceedings and my mom trying to get every last ounce of money and just playing games with him with my brother), until he found his most recent girlfriend. He has never been happier.

Dads can and are capable of raising children on their own and I think that its bullcrap that courts favour women. I turned out fine. My dad taught me so many things, despite some of our differences on things. I look up to him. He's awesome. Nothing more to say.

Title	From a girl primarily raised by her father: There is nothing wrong with it.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	262
Comments	57
Date	September 13, 2012 11:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zujnu/from_a_girl_primarily_raised_by_her_father_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/from-a-girl-primarily-raised-by-her-father-there.1013562 https://theredarchive.com/post/1013562