Genuine question to the incels on here; Without blaming women/society why do you think you cannot get laid?

iainmf · 2022-10-03T23:32:44+00:00

Come on man, you are just asking "what is wrong with you and why is it your fault?" That's tactless as best.

Perhaps you should answer your own question. Put some effort in and try to figure it out. Use your imagination.

allmyghtt · 2022-10-04T00:11:29+00:00

I dont get laid anymore cause I stoped trying to. Not that I was a player Iv always been a relationship sex type but I'm just not really relationship worthy/ready I dont want marriage I dont want kids I dont want to compromise In all the relationships around me the men in them have given up a part of them selves....

I think this idea of name calling of claiming someone is a sexist, incel, racist or some other negative is a attempt at making people less human so u can justify being an asshole and completely disregard valid issues......

Are there men angry at woman sure are they angry because no sex maybe is it more to do with social norms and expectations being placed on them while in the same breath being told cause they have a dick there life is easy they shouldnt complain and if they do it's because they are a incel racist sexist ect.

What I find more interesting is the moment men opened up about the issues they face some ass hat coined a term to silence them then more ass hats actually used the language.... sexist language is bad until it was sexist against men... mansplaining, really? created and used by the very group that supposedly is the head of the war on sexism and now incel to...

Why post such a pointless question. Who's worse the incels or the loser trying to antagonise them.

bottleblank · 2022-10-03T23:10:00+00:00

I'm not an incel, but try this one for size:

Years of being treated like dirt, being told he's a loser, being ignored, laughed at, bullied, abused, having his prospects ruined because he was socially untouchable, just because he was anxious, or depressed, or autistic, or shy. Learning that the only thing anybody thinks of him is that he's annoying, creepy, inconvenient, a burden.

Spending years failing to get anywhere in life because his self-esteem has been crushed like a car in a junkyard, into a dense cube of mangled pain and confusion. Believing he deserves it, but he doesn't know why, yet there's no reasonable explanation, so it must be that he's just broken.

Unable to get a decent job because he was convinced he was too useless to get through an interview because it requires considerable social competence. Having no hope for the future, because he knows he's too hopeless to make the money he'd need to build a life on his own, and nobody's going to be there to help him. Even trying seems pointless, a monumental struggle, giving himself false hope, and for what? None of those dreams were real. Just fantasies of being normal.

Unable to get friends because he was rejected and cast out when he was supposed to be learning how to be social. Too scared to try because every other time he'd tried he was made a joke of, cast out, or left behind. He wouldn't know how anyway, why would he risk making a fool of himself? No support network, nobody to lift him up when he's down, nobody to hang out with when he's lonely.

Unable to get a partner because, not only does he not know how to get friends because nobody gave him a shot to learn, he's a virgin who wouldn't know how to act in bed anyway, so even if he did find a partner, he'd just humiliate himself and she'd be gone before you could say "I'm sorry, I've never done this before". How would he even get that far anyway? He knows he's a beacon of creepiness, he doesn't know how to read or act out body language, he doesn't get the signs, women avoid him. Worse still, he could get accused or beaten or arrested for trying if it came across wrong.

Knowing that as every year passes, he's not getting better, he's falling behind, watching everybody else have the time of their lives, sometimes right in front of him, sometimes literally in the same room as him. Thinking it was too late 5 years ago, but those 5 years have passed, he can't turn back the clock, but before you know it another 5 years are going to have passed, and he'll have gone nowhere.

All the while people are having fun, learning what they need to learn, pairing up, leaving their youths behind with their new-found mature adulthood, starting families, no longer having time for the likes of him and his sad single loneliness, so at best he becomes the occasional third wheel at a social event, if he's lucky. The guy who never got anywhere, the guy who's wearing an outfit made entirely out of red flags, the guy who's hurtling towards 30, 40, 50, and hasn't moved an inch in life since he was 20, because he knows the world has nothing to offer him, that it thinks he's worthless, desperate, a loser, just like they all told him back in high school.

Still depressed, still anxious, still confused, still not knowing how to fix it, just waiting to die. Taunted by images of social and sexual success in media, advertising, online. Constantly reminded of everything he isn't, wasn't, and was never ever going to be. Desperately wishing he'd been born someone else, but knowing he can't change anything. Nothing left to do but grit his teeth and tough it out a few more years, just like the previous ones, waiting for the dark disappointment to finally consume him.

If he can bear it that much longer.

WingsofSky · 2022-10-04T00:56:28+00:00

Quite offensive aren't you!

chiliwicket · 2022-10-03T22:59:09+00:00

I haven't been a part of this sub for very long, but I haven't seen any incel activity.

airfox3522 · 2022-10-04T00:57:18+00:00

Unless one can blame on God or something supernatural, it's not possible to not place some sort of blame society. As for placing blame on women, that would be sexist, which would be hypocritical if any anti-feminist act like that.

almostadaddy · 2022-10-04T02:19:37+00:00

Not an incel. However, I will say that having a focus on "getting laid" is not a productive mindset to have when it comes to building a relationship with a woman.

BedroomJazz · 2022-10-04T06:24:34+00:00

Part of the issue with the toxic gender wars in society is in shaming young dudes for being a virgin. There shouldn't be status and self worth attributed to getting laid.

The pickup artist people who teach that getting laid and pulling 9s is all that matters doesn't help, but shitting on people for being a virgin is much more problematic

RedPill_Hispanic · 2022-10-04T15:26:40+00:00

Because I am ugly, short and don't have the best social skills. I also don't have a high income but I do own a home, car and have a stable job I have been doing since 2013. I also go to the gym regularly but am limited by genetics. I have had accounts on Tinder, okcupid, plenty of fish, bumble, hinge and others that escape me. I've had a few dates but they all went nowhere.

I am a redpill guy but more from the angle of trying to figure out the mystery of women, why they do what they do and how we got to the point we are right now...and some of that does include feminism and the sexual revolution.

ThrowFootAway5376 · 2022-10-04T06:13:59+00:00

I'll take a stab at this one because I couldn't possibly give less of a fuck about the so-called slur. Frankly it's been over-used. When a guy is married and his wife hands him even a 4 week dry spell is he not an "incel"? The term has precisely no meaning to me and I think it's high time we de-fang it. Just another slur used to shame us for shit that happens to literally everyone. Can't get a date for 8 months after a breakup? So that makes you an "incel" then huh. Pshhh please. Look. The more we react to it the more they'll throw it in our faces and I'm honestly tired of hearing it brought up as the "trump card argument winner" slur.

Fuck it. Bluntly, I cannot tell you if I'm incel. I was. Or I considered myself to be. Reasons, I could name several. Not socializing enough. Believing that acting a bit on the toxic side wins points (disgustingly, it does in some circles, but what you get from those you won't want. Play stupid games win stupid prizes, been there done that it sucks). Overdoing it on that because I have a tendency toward black and white thinking. Having a tendency toward black and white thinking. Working a job that demands almost all of my free time and not getting along well with my male peer group which tends to place a chip on one's shoulder.

Then again, I've had three opportunities (like, right here, right now kind of opportunities), that I turned down. It was mainly for fear of what I'd be getting myself in to. Does that make me volcel? Or does the fact that I'm looking for something far more specific in terms of connection make me roundabout incel? These people were really not hard on the eyes but they were potentially very hard on the psychology over a long enough time period.

I don't know and I don't care.

It's now I'm just tired and it's a lot of work. I don't know how to put this. I feel like sex with sentient beings within the framework of this "everything is disposable" society is always going to end badly for one or more parties involved and to put in the kind of work to "mask" my actual personality, my confidence levels and my belief in my position in life financially (I am well off but I can do basic math and I know, with inflation included, just how fast that shit can go up in flames if others lack a basic healthy sense of financial fear, which would be mightily warranted at the present time, but fuck, what fun is that and why are you ruining their fun etc.)... all that for a bad ending for everyone?

Stupid.

Thought of hiring it out but come on. Either they hate doing that in which case that's a giant bag of dicks move, or they like doing that in which case they're insane and you're in a lot of danger right there.

It's dumb. The entire thing in a consumerist society boils down to consuming another sentient being for a dopamine hit to the brain.

Beginning to see the Amish point of "only for procreation". Everyone loves dopamine but nobody wants to get used as a disposable bag of cocaine. One or the other of you is going to be, sooner or later. The only eye-to-eye I can see in this picture anymore is "for a mutual tangible goal".

So congrats y'all broke me.

Incel? Volcel? Take your pick. Sure why not. I'll make a t-shirt to the effect. And fuck anyone who says anything about it.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2022-10-03T22:36:42+00:00

My OPINION is that You can control all aspects I will get you laid. Social skills, healthy diet and exercise, good hygiene. Those are bare minimum but I feel like with just those three you can get laid easily.

NetNeutralitee · 2022-10-03T23:05:53+00:00

Are incel and MGTOW any different? Because a lot of people are MGTOW but are they all incels?

Qantourisc · 2022-10-04T04:56:29+00:00

I really struggle in group settings of +3 people (and that's me included) to engage in any conversation, and I seem to be invisible.

It's a struggle to actively arrange meetups with people to get my social needs met.

And people rarely contact me.

Basically i'm undesirable, but nobody has complains. I'm just too boring in a way I suppose.

wineblood · 2022-10-04T08:59:49+00:00

Me fat, that's why.

gratis_eekhoorn · 2022-10-04T12:38:38+00:00

why are you asking this question here and not in an incel forum?

BeepBeepYeah7789 · 2022-10-04T17:49:18+00:00

The term "incel" in and of itself isn't the problem (provided that it's properly defined).

The issue is that you're not asking in good faith.

Title	Genuine question to the incels on here; Without blaming women/society why do you think you cannot get laid?
Author	GrecoRomann
Upvotes	0
Comments	94
Date	October 3, 2022 10:31 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/xuxjym/genuine_question_to_the_incels_on_here_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/genuine-question-to-the-incels-on-here-without.1135206 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135206