Has anyone here had experiences with a feminist as a significant other?

Greg_W_Allan · 2020-12-21T08:10:09+00:00

I had the opposite situation. In my former feminist days I lived with a woman who thought men were treated like shit. That was during the eighties and early nineties. I believe a few of her clients had been put through the divorce mill.

2020-12-21T08:43:37+00:00

Don’t engage with feminists women, they are bitter, unfrateful, prone to cheat and overall impossible to live.

Be glad if she ditched you, because your love for her was way too impossible to comprehend for her.

My ex was the kind to think that inviting her to the restaurant was made so she would owe me sex. Only a feminist could think that, and it tells a lot about them and the view of the world they have.

crabpipe · 2020-12-21T07:05:19+00:00

Yes. You should learn to stand up for yourself, no one else will.

pirh_ · 2020-12-21T17:26:03+00:00

tl;dr: yes, feminists are bundles of narcissism and other mental disorders and won't change - STAY FAR FAR AWAY

I am an adult woman and was raised by a divorced feminist mother who didn't let me see my dad too much - who is a GREAT guy. That gave me the empathetic basis early on to understand men as complex humans with a lot of feelings that need the same level of emotional care that women love to deny them, for abuse or personal gain or both. I never had many female friends because I always found them too full of drama and hung out with guys instead, who were fun and easy to get along with. Today I work in tech were I am frequently one of very few women and have never been harassed or anything at work, ever.

I have had a few awful female friends, and also dated enough men to know that just treating them as a human being makes you pretty much the perfect woman in their eyes because it is unfortunately so rare. I have seen more men destroyed by women than I have the other way around.

A lot of the feminist types I know, like my mom, were abused by men as children. While this is horrible, I believe it is too often used an excuse to behave however the F they want as adults, including become abusers themselves, both to men and to their children (who they hate because a man caused them to have a child).

Wendy McElroy is a great example of the opposite - a woman who was abused by a man, but is able to distinguish between the individual that abused her and the concept of masculinity.

Anyway I have too many thoughts on this subject but I'll leave it at: BE REALLY CAREFUL as a man who you get involved with. A good litmus test honestly is abortion - women who are really pro-choice are going to be the absolute worst. I had an abortion because my mom took me to have one, even tho my bf wanted to keep it and was going to take care of us, and now years later have understood this to be a critical issue.

If a woman believes that she has the right to kill a child, but also will not allow a man to opt-out of the pregnancy (economic abortion) she is the worst kind of scum and will suck you dry.

mikesteane · 2020-12-21T09:21:33+00:00

if this subconscious gender one-uppery is at least relatively common amongst self proclaimed feminists

IMO it's pretty much universal.

TAPriceCTR · 2020-12-21T15:18:02+00:00

you were never valued and as you explored your feminine side you became less desired. even feminists want manly men.

women are not more altruistic than men, they are more tribal than men. altruism includes a willingness to sacrifice, women are rarely even willing to sacrifice for the man they love, men often sacrifice for women they've never met and will never see again. the honey badger brigade likes to point out that the most powerful way propagandists dehumanize an enemy to get men to go to war is to say the enemy mistreats their own women. that is how altruistic men are, they'll risk their lives to protect their enemies women.

feminism is a religion, and in that religion, the best you can ever be is "not bad", but just by coming here, you are summoning demons. never date a feminist again. their religion is a still for concentrating every toxic attribute common to women. I'm sorry you had to go through that. listen to The_Prim_Reaper (she hangs with the honey badgers a lot), she recently finished her masters in psychology and spent the entire program ferreting out how feminism is destroying the field. she can hopefully help you rebuild what that harpie destroyed.

novhaku · 2020-12-21T14:50:59+00:00

With a few that weren't at first, but became one over the years. And right now since they don't have any success anymore they went full force into the victimhood culture and how men are terrible for anything.

Despite one of them being "nice enough" to literally throw to my face that I was worth less than a dog when I complained about her constant silent treatment whenever things didn't go her way, or another one that told me during my depressed and suicidal days that if I shoot myself I should be careful about not staining the poor wall behind me with blood (any wonder why I was suicidal at this time?). These person is now constantly complaining about "angry men that feel entitled". It tells you everything you need to know about what "entitlement" means to them. "EVERYTHING has to go my way or the highway, and if you ask for so much as basic respect and not being abused, you're an entitled prick".

It started of fairly well but as soon as the entitlement and victimhood narrative of feminism tried to settle in, it became a justification for any kind of lack of respect, abuse, special treatment you have to accept, lying, etc, that you can think of. you just HAVE to accept to be used like a thing without emotions and needs, and if you do as much as asking to have a discussion in order to solve the problems in the couple, you're manipulating them, you're entitled, you don't accept the person for who they are (yeah thanks, me having a problem with someone I've been with for years pathologically lying and telling me not to stain the wall with my blood is definitely a lack of tolerance on my part). Etc.

As such, messages about men "feeling entitled to [x]" always make me laugh. Uh. When to you even someone asking for basic respect or someone not accepting constant lying can be considered "too much" and is being entitled and a "problem with men in society", there has got to be a problem somewhere.

The big problem being that any breakup inevitably resulted in my reputation going through the ground, due to her constantly downplaying her own bad behaviour and downright inventing things when it came to me. When a part of your social circle is shared by the two of you, it's "kind of" problematic.

Keep in mind that most of what she said is manipulation tactics used to make things go her way. Nothing else. Men being unemotional? This isn't true at all, and given the kind of things she said to you, it looks more like it's forced on you than anything else. If that's how she is when she get angry, you're pretty much forced to be as "neutral" as possible. You don't want to be emotional and be on her bad side because of it for whatever reason.

she would go for the emotional jugular and say horrible things about men and masculinity, things which I internalized because I felt them to be partially true.

Recognize what WAS true and what was forced on you. There's a fair chance that a lot of what you consider "partially true" was highly dependent of the context.

I'm not sure it's "gender one-uppery". It's a control mechanism, first and foremost. I partly blame it on our current generation and the fact that a lot of people nowadays want to get what they want, RIGHT NOW, and they don't want to compromise or make efforts in any way. Which is highly incompatible with the very idea of a couple since it'll always require compromises FROM BOTH SIDES, otherwise you're not in a relationship anymore; you're in a master/slave partnership, where maybe the master side will throw you a bone here or there. If you're being "nice" enough.

While everyone can display such selfishness, feminism happens to be an extremely effective weapon to enforce it, and they love to see anything as "oppression" ("emotional labor", anyone? Seriously?) and to think that women "can have it all"; which means no compromise, at all, and the very fact of askibg for compromises even if it is about her own bad behaviour is being manipulative. This is the problem. And why it is so attractive to a lot of terrible women, or nice women that become terrible under its influence; you get the power, without any deterrent stopping you from abusing it thanks to the victimhood narrative. Power corrupts, even perfect people that are unicorn, and it turns out that feminism (and any kind of ideology pretending to fight for a "moral high ground"; I've seen the same crap with some aspies going from "equality" to "deserving special treatment and slaves...) has quite a lot of societal power. That can be abused to manipulate you. So yes, it is extremely common. A lot of people will abuse whatever power they get if there is no drawback. Hell, they even get praised for it under the name of "empowerment". No wonder it does have negative results.

mmpro55 · 2020-12-21T14:59:49+00:00

Yeah. Don't ever date a feminist. Anyone who believes that there is a tyrannical system in place that subjugates women and favors men will never find your problems as important as their own.

The great part of being a man is that we don't need women as much as they need men. You don't find men feeling the need to profess their independence on social media.

And, masculinity is inherently polarizing, while feminity is inclusive. Just think back on all the times women are nice to someone and then talk badly about them behind their backs. As a man, you have luxury of being honest, direct, and selective. Don't settle for people who don't bring it the best in you. The most important one being your life partner.

GltyUntlPrvnInncnt · 2020-12-21T17:23:43+00:00

This one is the biggest red flag for me. I'd never date a radfem.

beatstorelax · 2020-12-21T19:18:41+00:00

yes...and its a COMPLETE SHITHOLE . don't do it guys.

2020-12-21T19:19:01+00:00

a lot of "feminist" gf's are pickmeisha's for chad

autocthonous · 2020-12-21T21:50:13+00:00

My longest relationship so far was with a feminist. She wasn't who I should have been with, but we did love each other. Ultimately, we were 2 very different people heading in very different directions in life, so we shouldn't have made it more than a fling. But we don't get to choose who we love, just what we do about it.

Bentendo24 · 2020-12-21T11:34:56+00:00

Your story makes it sound like your partner was not a feminist, but a person who hate men in general. Feminists strive for equality (which in modern america has pretty much already been achieved), so it doesn’t make sense that she pushed ideas onto you that any of their traits are better than men. I don’t think reddit is the right place to get help and I recommend at least trying out therapy. Hope you get better!

farahitzel · 2020-12-21T14:11:22+00:00

https://www.masculinedevelopment.com/lauren-southern-red-pill-women/

Title	Has anyone here had experiences with a feminist as a significant other?
Author	throwra_coolname209
Upvotes	18
Comments	18
Date	December 21, 2020 7:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/khc8of/has_anyone_here_had_experiences_with_a_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/has-anyone-here-had-experiences-with-a-feminist-as.837800 https://theredarchive.com/post/837800