Like, all there is left is "hobbies and confidence" for a guy it seems. As in, they are all "doing" actions and none of them are about attempting to connect with people. As in, if a guy somehow for whatever reason is alone, it must be their fault and the only solution is confidence and hobbies .But then the paradox of it is: to meet people you need confidence and hobbies but most people do stuff because of hobbies of self interest, not to meet people. Then it is said to not go out of our way to meet people because hobby and confidence should be the focus, again self interest. But then it is said that we should show interest in people? But then how should one show interest in people if everyone is told to be self interested and attempts at connecting with people, more often than not, is met with scorn? Really not sure what it is all about.

To combat loneliness, isn't it about connecting with others? But again, it seems that all there really is left is professional work and work around a hobby. So basically "work".And the only person it seems we are allowed to connect with are therapists, that then prepetuate the "confidence and hobbies" cycle. Like there seems to be a very specific and very very strict context which allows one to actually to get to know a person. I don't even know anymore if I'm being honest. It's like, if you feel lonely, it's your own fault for lacking confidence and not doing more hobbies. Only time people care, is if you impact them but if you are impacted, always your fault somehow.

We also have this thing at work where we are randomly assigned to just "chat" with a coworker. I absolutely hate it because it feels like if it wasn't into place, people wouldn't be doing it. And idk I can talk and stuff but it just feels very very boring and very PC to the point where it just feels like I am doing it to show "me human. me good worker see?" as opposed to actually giving a damn. I want to give a damn don't get me wrong but it feels that there are so many rules to follow that I focus on the rules and not the activity, if that makes sense? It's why I can't do hobbies because from experience, if you are the dullest knife in the shed, you get to stay but try to be a bit different, you are banished quickly. Not talking about being brash or loud but just try to talk about other things than said hobby. Basically, if you are at work/hobby, you are only allowed to talk about that. So knowing how to conform is a skill but detrement as well.

And there you have it, loneliness is prepetuated by an overfixation of rules and regulations as opposed to what if humanly effective, I feel anyhow. When one fixates on rules, it no longer becomes about "being in the present" but it feels like a Eldritch Horror of chess and thus feel alone. It's why I find theatre/acting an interesting venue to visit from time to time: every actor does this and that in a certain way, and I can appreciate the clockwork like flow they have