How come women can love their fathers but if a guy loves his mom it's a red flag and a mommy's boy?

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-04-07T20:05:47+00:00

I don't pay attention to what people say. When I first retired my brother suffered cancer and died 7 months later. I was his primary caretaker.

Now my mom is in her 90's and needs help. I have one sister and she and I split care of my mom.

I also have a son. That is enough for me. I'm pretty old so the drama of dating is old for me. But women give me a hard time about how much time I spend taking care of my mom. I had one women instruct me I should spend 10 min once a week to peek in and make sure my mom and her aide are OK. I dumped her immediately for telling me what to do.

Don't turn your back on your mom, some people have been trying to destroy the family for 70 years.

GorettefulSins · 2022-04-08T03:12:32+00:00

You can have 1000s of women but you only get one mom in your life

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-04-07T20:07:57+00:00

Because you're taking this perspective from women, who want to be given everything by any man in their lives, like their fathers may have done, while at the same time, not wanting to give anything to the men - like they did with their dad.

Their insistence that it's a red flag for a guy to be close with his mom is because they want to send the signal that they will not be tolerating any sort of expectations from their partners for any sort of reciprocal care from them to their male partner, while expecting to be treated like the princess by that male partner.

Meanwhile, these sorts of women will get married to a guy who treats them like a princess, squeeze out their qualifying crotch fruit, file for divorce and boot the father out of his house, while raising any male children on her own (with dad's non-custodial financial support) to be mama's boys... ironic how that works, isn't it?

sumfacilispuella · 2022-04-07T22:26:41+00:00

i thought that a good relationship with your mom was seen as a good thing. i think many women are scared of the crazy overbearing mother in law and are trying to avoid it. like the "im 9 months pregnant and my mother in law insists on being the first to hold my child and my husband has taken her side" type of thing.

zogins · 2022-04-08T00:20:35+00:00

I love both my parents - but perhaps in a different way. I am told that I loved my dad so much when I was a little boy that when he used to leave for work I'd throw a mini tantrum because I wanted to go to work with him. In my teens I used to clash a lot with my dad and we did not see eye to eye. But my mother often let it slip that she prefers boys.

I am now old enough to not care what people think and I have no trouble saying ' I love you' to my mother. Hugging her is a more emotional experience than hugging my dad.

I also know that my dad prefers my sister, but when I think about it I conclude that it is the natural order of things. Most mothers love their sons more than their daughters and most fathers love their daughters more than their sons.

Seawolf40 · 2022-04-08T12:52:44+00:00

Let me guess, you were snooping around FDS again, weren't you?

She thinks its a red flag because dad raised a spoiled, entitled brat. She wants to be the ONLY woman in your life. The fact you care about your mom means mom's a threat. Because dad screwed up and made her think she's the center of the universe she expects the same from you and "won't settle". So the fact another woman is important to you is a red flag.

drunkard26 · 2022-04-07T21:36:01+00:00

Half these broads today Still live with there mothers and parents in there 40s and they got the nerve to tell us be independent and ditch our parents.

Dismal-Opposite-6946 · 2022-04-08T04:20:10+00:00

I hate this as well. While there can be instances where it can be an unhealthy relationship, this goes both ways. I have seen it with fathers and daughters as well. That being said, I pay attention to how a man treats his mother because it's a good indication of how he will treat his partners.

nikogetsit · 2022-04-08T14:58:17+00:00

I have to take care of my mom due to her health, my roommate (26f) called me a mama's boy. I had to explain the differences between a mamas boy and a good son. She conceded after I educated her on the difference.

ExMuzzy · 2022-04-07T23:12:28+00:00

From personal experience, it's definitely a jealousy thing. Especially since your mum is another woman. People like this want your attention to themselves, though they'll never return it kind since it's unreasonable. No decent woman will be asking you to do this shit.

ConsiderationOdd2929 · 2022-04-07T23:50:33+00:00

Because women are jealous, and have no other "power" to wield when they don't get their way. Divide and conquer.

Tale as old as time.

anonuser637373 · 2022-04-08T05:00:42+00:00

because women want their husband to cut ties so that they can dominate the husband's mindset.

Alfster620 · 2022-04-08T00:30:35+00:00

I’ve never heard anyone see that as a red flag

daniellederek · 2022-04-08T11:59:22+00:00

Its dead easy to figure that one out. They know any man close to his mother will do what's needed for his mom. Less resources and attention for her. The ironic bit is she demands the guy accept being 5th in her life behind 3 kids an ex and the cat.

-Merasmus- · 2022-04-08T05:33:34+00:00

Because that would show emotion, amd we cant have that, now can we?

masterdarthrevan · 2022-04-08T10:33:19+00:00

Momma's boy / daddy's princess both are simultaneously red flags and not red flags at the same time, because they both can be good/bad but the reason daddy's princess isn't viewed as one is definitely due to misandry and the "women are wonderful" effect.

LurkingDrifter · 2022-04-08T16:20:47+00:00

No room for competition. You are THEIR disposable utility.

ImplodedPotatoSalad · 2022-04-08T00:47:36+00:00

Female love is always conditional, thats why. Unless she is loving herselfz that is.

Various_Strain5693 · 2022-04-07T22:26:37+00:00

To be fair women who love their dads are called "daddy's girl"

Mystic_Submissive · 2022-04-08T07:26:42+00:00

I've seen such imbecile reactions, mostly on the internet and tv, about mocking a guy for loving his mom, and it must not be tolerated.

If either of you is in a nice relation and loves their mother, don't hesitate to show it, however say something idiotic like that, reject them from your life if you have the chance or tell them to piss off.

Yennavere · 2022-04-08T09:58:03+00:00

I see more guys complaining about this than girls, if I’m honest. When a guy has a good relationship with his mom, I’ve found that girls are attracted to that. I’ve also seen guys call other guys gay or a fag for being a mommy’s boy ( being closer to your mom is not a bad thing ). I’m not saying only guys do this, because women do too, but this is very gendered for no reason.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2022-04-08T02:03:31+00:00

A healthy relationship with your mother is good. If you're emotionally or logistically dependent on her as an adult? Absolutely an understandable red flag for women.

You raise an interesting double standard regarding the "daddy's girl" versus "mommy's boy" tropes. I'm not sure why that is, but I think the whole "momma's boy" thing has a bit more nuance than just loving your mother.

YogurtclosetNo101 · 2022-04-08T18:14:59+00:00

Actually, most women consider it a good sign if a man is nice to his mother. I’ve had many women tell me that when people thought I was straight / wanted to date men. I think dad/daughter relationships are more normalized, though

dream_and_question · 2022-04-09T00:14:49+00:00

Seriously? You've never heard the term daddy issues?

Al_Modir · 2022-04-09T03:04:19+00:00

I find this to be a very particularly western thing. Many cultures accept that at least until you are married your relationship with your parents stays pretty strong. You are also more likely to see people still living at home, boy or girl it doesn’t matter. This is Ofcourse good and bad, I guess it’s fine if you can stand your parents and they are good to you, some of us simply don’t want to tolerate our parents any more than absolutely necessary. At the end of the day, don’t worry about what people say, do what makes your life easier.

nightvisioneyes · 2022-04-26T10:43:07+00:00

This reminds me of that stupid TikTok trend that ive been seeing where women will mimic kissing sounds and then talk about someone and their relationship, however the most popular one is talking about a man and his relationship with his mother. People are so messed up nowadays that something as normal as having a healthy relationship with your parent is seen as a disgusting thing

UnconventionalXY · 2022-04-08T00:48:50+00:00

A Father is usually the first man a woman knows in her life and for over a decade a mature man versus boys: of course he's going to have a huge influence on her life and why the roles of Fathers are so important. However, indulging women and leading them to think they are all princesses to be waited on also probably starts with Fathers.

It's said that women marry men who resemble their Fathers and this is understandable given the influence, but it means Fathers must set a good example. Unfortunately society does not support men to be good examples and misandry and denigrating men in general is only going to lead to daughters having relationships with men with those characteristics, which they will find unacceptable and lead to further dysfunction.

Then there is the sexual situation as a Father is likely the first man she will be sexually attracted to. It's a difficult dynamic due to men's sexual drives, but this is where Mothers need to ensure the sexual focus of Fathers is on them and not the daughter and Fathers need to encourage daughters looking outside the family.

A similar situation exists for men and their Mothers, but I would suggest that for men the sexual tension is much higher due to their sex drive and probably why men are expelled from the family. There is also the desire for men to become independent early to work on building their resources to support a family, but what often happens is that men transfer from Mothers who look after them to wives who are expected to look after them without learning the skills to be truly independent; or alternatively, men not being taught the skills for independence whilst living at home, but suddenly kicked out and expected to live independently. Adolescence should be a time of staged increasing independence and responsibility whilst still living at home for both men and women, so that both can be independent when they leave home and not codependent.

There is still a traditional expectation that men should take care of and protect women (in exchange for sex), despite civilisation trending to equality and independence. What has happened is the "in exchange for sex" is being forcibly dropped because women should have a right to choose sex not as obligation in a trade, whilst the requirement to take care of and protect women obligation on men is maintained. The traditional balanced trade in the best interests of both parties has been skewed to become one-sided in favour of women to their benefit. What I find appalling is that women believe they are entitled to resources and protection from men whilst not giving anything in return and also not caring what men are losing in the rush to have their cake and eat it.

In my opinion, civilisation will inevitably progress to independence for both men and women, but it is under attack from women having a sense of entitlement to resources from men without having to do anything for it: in effect, men are being enslaved in order to provide the resources for women to raise the children they want but otherwise dismissed as irrelevant (ATM and sperm donors). For women, sex is more a means to an end rather than the end in itself for men.

Not that long ago, women were confused over whether they should be paying their boyfriends rent to live in his house or sharing the rent: it was seen as an entitlement of women that the man provide for them at no cost and no obligation. A similar thing still happens in the dating environment with some women feeling entitled to be paid for.

Lets be realistic: dating is about getting sex for men and exploring ATM and sperm donor potential for women as it has always been due to biology. It's never going to change because the underlying biology doesn't change. What can change is how we address providing both men and women what they want in a win-win way without each side fighting the other for supremacy in order to get what they want.

BumLeeJon · 2022-04-08T11:24:31+00:00

I’ve never heard of that as a red flag homie

wrekd · 2022-04-08T16:11:26+00:00

Women can love their dads, men can love there mom's, and this post is a waste of space on a non-fucking-issue.

NoCSForYou · 2022-04-08T13:51:35+00:00

I have legit never heard this before.

Ive heard the term mommies boy but never in a bed way.

Btw generally a kid will get best along with the parent of opposite sex once puberty hits.

doyoulikemywood · 2022-04-12T15:46:21+00:00

This isn’t a real thing. You’re being upset for nothing. Move on

Title	How come women can love their fathers but if a guy loves his mom it's a red flag and a mommy's boy?
Author	manbro7
Upvotes	183
Comments	73
Date	April 7, 2022 7:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tylawn/how_come_women_can_love_their_fathers_but_if_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-come-women-can-love-their-fathers-but-if-a-guy.1110861 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110861