How do I live a normal life?

lurker-burner · 2022-10-05T06:44:17+00:00

Please advise sincerely, I'm at the lowest point of my life.

Probably not what you want to hear right now, but I personally don't think its a good idea to bring someone into my life if I'm at my lowest

MathematicianReal542 · 2022-10-05T08:32:07+00:00

I thought I was miserable when I was a bachelor -- then I got married! Only you can decide what's normal. I can't recommend getting married, but you'll have to decide. Maybe, you'll actually find someone decent. For me, I'm done. Two marriages, there won't be a third. I have money in the bank, and the freedom to do whatever I want. I've cut women out of my life for good.

SecondEldenLord · 2022-10-05T07:19:10+00:00

As a 32 year old man who never had a gf and who tried for 12 years just like you to find a partner through various methods, including dating apps, I can relate to you a lot. Do what I did: focus on yourself, focus on your career, get new hobbies, go to the gym and grind till you drop to become better and better every single day.

StrongerStrangerK · 2022-10-05T05:55:01+00:00

PS - I don't hate women. I just can't seem to find the right one.

Why is life so complicated? I just wanna love someone. So much!!

crz8956 · 2022-10-05T09:42:10+00:00

With the online dating.

Online dating via apps is trash.

Online dating when you, for instance, meet someone on a forum of your interests, and than you talk, and you are soo cool with each other that want to meet IRL is cool.

I once was taking a train trip like for 150 km every weekend to one particular sweet girl from Ragnarok Online forum in my 20th. Regrettably, she turned out to be vicious manipulative harpy in the end, but for first 8 month all was cool.

Also there is such a thing as offline dating. When you first look for people who align with your interests and values, than sort out decent girls from them. Than vet harpies among them.

I, for instance, met my wife at work.

Now, about your situation.

Calm down.
Analyze what you do wrong. I do not mean, change yourself to get laid. That is pathetic (if it not boiled down to "take a bath finally". Than it is not pathetic.) Maybe you look in wrong places? Maybe you look for wrong things?
Understand, what do you want from relationships.
Now understand what you REALLY want from relationships.
Think, who can offer you what you want.(And what you can offer).
Think where to find this kind of girls.
Learn how how mind work, to be able to find red flags.
See a date more as a job interview (first date atleast), where you are the one who makes opinion.
Try to not to jump on a first bus. And, in this case, try to not to show, how desperate you are. It attracts kind of girls you better avoid, like a fresh carrion attracts crows.

tthechosendummy · 2022-10-05T13:58:43+00:00

Trying to find a sense of self work and validation from a partner is not a good recipe. Find happiness with career and hobbies

BedroomJazz · 2022-10-05T06:39:23+00:00

Sorry you've had to go through that series of rough dating experiences. The reality is that you're going to have to make yourself vulnerable again and trust people for them to trust you.

Sometimes our past relationships can be a lesson and can help us identify red flags in the future, but a lot of times we just get unlucky and our past traumas do nothing for us except traumatize us set us back. If you feel discouraged, I get it, but know that a lot of people in the world are kind and compassionate beings who would gladly accept you and your companionship

Narrow_Eggplant3867 · 2022-10-05T16:28:11+00:00

Bro, if your seriously looking for love and companionship, get a dog or a cat.

M1L03 · 2022-10-05T10:32:11+00:00

How tf I find a partner who's trustworthy.

You don't. They do not exist. Even if you find acceptable partner you can never have a full trust in her. It's a game of damage control and you are always on your toes. I gave it up some 4 years ago, yeah, sex is great and all, but have you tried living without a stress?

thealphateam · 2022-10-05T19:40:34+00:00

You need to better yourself. You are not going to find a quality woman if you yourself is not healthy. Even if you did find one she'd nope out. Wouldn't you?

Its hard man. I'm not saying its easy. Try and be the best you that you can be.

Don't pick someone out of desporation.

silly_birb_Banned · 2022-10-05T20:47:37+00:00

The most important thing for a man is "self actualization", the downside is that without fulfilling the need for "love" the mind of a man will keep losing time chasing sex.

Just think of what men in a relationship do, they get sex on a regular basis but once the need for sex is satisfied they focus more on their career and stop chasing the girlfriend, reason why she gets bored and she cheats.

What you should try to accomplish is to skip the need for love and focus on self actualization. Meditation usually help, maybe in addition to some post nut clarity.

Ok_Option_7772 · 2022-10-06T02:15:48+00:00

Dear StrongerStrangerK, I was at the same point in life some short time ago, same self destructive question "whats wrong with me", how can i achieve a normal life etc.

At some point i realized that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, if you need proof, here in this group you will find dozens and dozens of dezent good guys in the same sitution (or they were in the same situation in the past).

I sugessed you should not start this self optimizing process, searching for every tiny error you might think you have, maybe you are a worthy person right now.

Maybe we are all part of an social system which does not work completely at the moment, I see this in a greater context and not on an individual level, don't take this shit personal.

We have some problems right now, online dating is really cancer for men especialy for the selfvalue for the most of us 80-90% excluding the upper 5-10% "high value" males, i think the 20-80 rule in online dating is pretty accurate.

I don't know in which country you are, small town - big town, but try to find someone offline. One guy here has given you the advice to talk to everyone, go out, make new contacts and friend, i think this is the best way - not every woman uses online dating.

Don't be to harsh to yourself, enjoy life.

Nice greetings wish you the best

Planimation4life · 2022-10-06T05:04:45+00:00

the best thing to do when you're feeling down is to start working on yourself and become practical over it, what i mean is, a lot of the time we tend to watch self help videos on youtube for however long you want 1-2 hours a day, and then go to sleep, wake up, work, come back home eat and watch more self help videos and then repeat the cycle. however this doesn't really help. start by going to the gym and workout, open up a trading account and learn how to day trade with small amounts of money and find ways of making money besides working a 9-5, start building stuff in your house repair or replace something, find new hobbies. slowly but surely your life will start to get better.

elebrin · 2022-10-05T17:00:00+00:00

Uh... define normal life for me, please.

Online dating isn't normal. Don't give women what they want until you are sure she can give you what you want. Online dating, I am coming to believe, is a free food scam for women.

caem123 · 2022-10-05T20:54:36+00:00

When I was in a similar state of mind long ago, I made a decision to take a contrarian approach to dating. There's not just one non-traditional approach to dating, but many, and they don't include apps plus expensive dinners out. For me, I just simply decided to get comfortable chatting with women during the day. First I would chat with everyone (easy practice), then focus on single women. Whenever I entered a room, I would sit by a woman to chat with. Same with checkout lines, waiting rooms, even sidewalks. Then I would ask questions, simple questions, "Am I in the right spot?" "Is there a long wait?" "What do you thing of this place/store/service ?" then just continue with questions. Then say they're so helpful and how can you reach them later.

I dated, slept with a bunch of these women. Then married one. We have four kids, six properties together now.

YoWassupFresh · 2022-10-10T00:48:25+00:00

Lowest point is not the time for partnership.

The best advice I can give you is to get comfortable with your loneliness. Make sure your diet and fitness are on point too. Get your life in order, then you can entertain the idea of a woman.

A woman WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY.

You need to be happy first.

Glittering-Kale-4218 · 2022-10-10T02:20:33+00:00

You can’t do anything for force it, either someone right for you will stumble into your lap, or they won’t. Nothing wrong with being alone until that moment happens.

Title	How do I live a normal life?
Author	StrongerStrangerK
Upvotes	24
Comments	41
Date	October 5, 2022 5:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/xw23wf/how_do_i_live_a_normal_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-i-live-a-normal-life.1135032 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135032